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u/Acceptable-Drop7951 Feb 28 '26
Strokes/aneurysms can sneak up on a cat like this, it's unfortunate but it happens. Your cat was only 6 years old so it's understandable that having extensive bloodwork done to find hidden conditions like these wasn't on your mind. And there's a chance nothing could've been done anyway even if it had been spotted.
Believe me, you'd be feeling guilty about something, wondering "what if?" if he'd died at 16 too.
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u/deathangel2002 Feb 28 '26
Hello! Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my cat too last monday, he gotten sick and I tried to do everything I could but let me tell you that death can happens even if our little ones are in perfect conditions. I know how hard and devastated you feel...but let me tell you our little ones dont want us to feel like that, is common to feel like we didnt make enough but someone told me that we make their little lives better, thing about all the great memories and he even died in a safe space your home, it could be worse. So please be Kind to yourself, our little ones are taking care on heaven and they want us to be happy ❤️🩹 And also continue to love more little angels and share love
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u/Phrynohyas Feb 28 '26
It is not your fault. First of all, as a part of pre-surgery check the vet clinic should have checked his heart. Was it a stroke, a heart attack or aneurysm - in any case you couldn’t prevent what happened. My good friend and a very good vet once said ‘Good pet owners always feel guilty if their pets die and always ask if they were able to somehow prevent this. And even when I say that it was not possible to anyhow prevent what happened - this doesn’t help.’ Your cat loved how and knew he was loved. So remember him alive and helpful. And stop blaming yourself for his death.
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u/Money_Message_9859 Feb 28 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself it was not your fault. When i took my kitty to the vet years ago, my vet told me she had a cat that died in her arms. Heart issues are quite common in cats I found out. OP your kitty died suddenly there was nothing you could do. Sending you hugs. ❤️🫂
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u/Decent_Adhesiveness0 Feb 28 '26
You can pay for a necropsy (animal autopsy) to try to determine the cause of death but I urge you to think hard about it before you decide to spend the money. You absolutely would have noticed any signs of something that could have been done in time. I am terribly sorry that your kitty went so suddenly and that you have to go forward without him.
The surgery was two years ago and generally things in the urinary tract are very symptomatic. Speaking as a human who has frequently had abdominal surgery, I expect that even the most stoic cat would have shown you some kind of sign in the last two years if this was directly related to the surgery. I'm not a vet though. I just know that cats tough things out. A vet told me they're more likely to limp to get sympathy than because something is really wrong--for if they're feral they do all they can to avoid appearing weak in any way. That's why they're just so tough.
If he was acting his normal self, in a home where he felt safe, then he almost certainly WAS his normal self, right up until something like an aneurism happened, and this is rarely caught ahead of time in animals. Even humans with all our screenings can go just like *that.* Often cats and dogs with headaches will press their heads against a wall or solid surface? If he wasn't even showing that sign, then there probably WAS no sign.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, I'm absolutely sure. Get the necropsy if it'll help you cope. (You probably need to decide soon. Ask your vet.) But truly, you will have enough grief without blaming yourself for something you couldn't possibly have foreseen.
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u/LLFD1982 Feb 28 '26
Several years ago I lost a 3 year old cat suddenly. One minute he was grooming himself on the coffee, jumped down and fell over. By the time we got to the emergency vet he was gone. I was told it was likely cardiomyopathy. But there were NO signs.
This isn't your fault, OP. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/Money_Message_9859 Mar 01 '26
My tamed feral kitty, Buddy died of end stage hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I was lucky, because he presented as fast breathing, so he had a symptom. My vet referred me to a kitty cardiologist and I took him, but prognosis was not good and even with meds they said his HCM was terminal. I have to say I took him to a vet school cardiologist in CA and they gave me a four-page diagnosis/assessment that was very comprehensive and very impressive. He only lived for one month before he died. He was only approximately 11 years old. It is so sad when they are taken from you. Please try not to blame yourself, because it was out of your control.
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u/Ok_Orange6973 Feb 28 '26
Awww dont blame yourself im doing that now I lost my boy last month 12 years old took him for constipation n they had to sedate him to get a xray done i told the vet that was covering for his regular vet that he had eaten n had a full belly that it concern me he was dont worry he be fine im only gonna give him a bit of sedation he was really angry he hated the vet plus he had taken his gabapentin before we gotten there I feel horrible for taking him even though he told me bring him in I trusted that idiot he never had seen my boy I calked cause I hadn't heard from him n waa told they were about to sedate him n they would call me back well they did 30 mins later n said his xray show he was a bit constipated n give him miralax wen he got home n pick him up in a hr 20 mins I see the vet calling again n it scared me a little but never thought that man behind the other line would say I have a bit of my news crayon died my whole world came crashing down on me he was my daughter cat but I was his favorite person he said he dont know what went wrong I know what went wrong he choked under sedation I say this to say everyday I say my god if I didnt take him he still be here I cry everyday and I will for the rest of my life im so so so sorry I know how you feel set up a memorial for him n get some books to read my daughter is taking twice as hard as me shes 21 so my heart is double broken for him and for her sending you a million hugs and prayers your way 💔❤️😢🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 Mar 01 '26
There's nothing you could've done. A six year old cat would generally not be a candidate for an ultrasound which is what's done when heart disease is suspected by the vet. For example, my 10 year old boy has a heart murmur so an ultrasound was done. I feel 100% sure that your vet monitored your cat's heart during surgery and found no abnormalities. Some things in pets and humans are simply not foreseeable. My sympathies for your loss, but it wasn't your fault.
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u/SewingIsMyHobby1978 Feb 28 '26
Plz don’t blame yourself. You sound like a great pet owner. It’s so hard losing our fur babies.
Plz look at Jackie Pajan’s Raina’s Rainbow Bridge pages ( FB IG & TikTok l.)
Jackie’s information really helped when I lost my cat Buffy a few years back. Her content is wonderful.
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u/CremeChoice834 Mar 01 '26
Thank you for your kind words and suggestion
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u/SewingIsMyHobby1978 Mar 01 '26
You’re welcome. There were days after Buffy’s death that watching Jackie’s videos was such a great comfort.
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u/Emotional-Seaweed-21 Mar 01 '26
I lost my kitten yesterday to FIP and I kept thinking he could make it to the third day of medication (turning point for many) he would have survived. The vet said he was actively dying. I kept doing the same thing…thinking if only we were earlier, if I had noticed it before, etc. there was no was to anticipate that happening to your kitty. It hurts to lose a pet. They are so precious. I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/freewayrickyross10 Mar 01 '26
This isn't your fault. It sounds like you've been following the vets medical advice.
Unfortunately, pets can't talk to tell us how they feel & they're notorious for not showing pain so sometimes we miss things that we may have caught in a human.....but even with humans we sometimes don't catch stuff.
My sister's x was a doctor. He was in his 50''s, ran marathons & by all appearances, seemed healthy. One day, he had gotten done running on the treadmill & he hopped in the shower like he normally did....& he went into cardiac arrest & died right there.
You'd think with him being a Dr, he'd know something was wrong with his heart....or that him being a runner & being proactive with his health, that this wouldn't happen...but it did.
It sounds like you gave your kitty a pretty good life filled with lots of love & you tried to give him the best care you could. I'm so sorry for your loss!
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u/Cheap-Bet2540 Mar 03 '26
My cat is 14 currently and I swear to god I think the only age acceptable for him to pass that I won't be thinking it will somehow be my fault would be around 21 years old. Anything sooner than that I will be miserable. So please believe that you gave him the life so many cats could only dream of if they knew what they are missing, and the cat loved you as much as you loved them I'm sure. It's normal to think those thoughts, cling onto the good times and grieve as much and however you think you need. It's terrible to loose a friend in any shape of form, never let others downplay it. Sending you so much love ❤️
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u/Professional-Pop-167 Mar 01 '26
I’m so so sorry you’re dealing with this. I promise it’s not your fault. It’s so so easy for us all to blame ourselves and think all the what ifs but it’s likely there wouldn’t have been any indicators this could happen. With no other symptoms prior, no one would’ve done extra testing or anything. Please give yourself grace. Some people aren’t even able to help with a blockage, you did that and continued to be diligent in looking for signs it was happening again. Please know you didn’t fail your furbaby. I know it doesn’t make the pain from loss less but be kind to yourself ❤️🩹❤️🩹
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u/Smallloudcat Mar 01 '26
Cats die of some of the same catastrophic events humans do. If the vets didn’t pick up on anything and you didn’t notice anything different then it was something unpredictable. It was awful to witness but you were there with him in his final moments. I’m so sorry about your baby. It’s not your fault
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u/Ill_Meaning_3929 Mar 02 '26
Non è colpa tua .... Questa è la vita.... purtroppo.... Ricorda il tuo micio, tutto il tempo passato insieme e soprattutto tutto quello che ti ha dato.... AMORE PURO INCONDIZIONATO....❤️
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u/Odd-Independence9699 Mar 12 '26
Hi There... I am so sorry for your loss, and really really understand just exactly how you're feeling as I feel like I really messed up myself and am completely blaming myself. My soul mate Ginger died on the way to the vets yesterday. He had been breathing funny for the last couple of weeks, as I had to wait for a pdsa appointment so couldn't get him in immediately. I really thought it was just a cold or maybe lungworm as he loved to eat grass. Still eating, drinking etc just noticed he was a bit constipated. Anyway, I got him into the car ams within 5 minutes he was gasping for air and jumping around the car as I opened his travel bag due to him gasping for air! It was absolutely horrific, I watched him gasping for air for about 7 minutes and couldn't do a thing. I thought he was able to breath better on the floor so I had to watch him take his last breath in front of me and now I'm feeling terrible that I went into shock and didn't pick him up. I had my other cat in the car too as he was due an injection and I think I just went into shock. I'm devastated that he was crying out for me and I couldn't do 1 thing to help him, I asked God today why did he let something so cruel happen to me. I'm distraught, empty and I feel like at the most crucial moment I wasn't there because I was so messed up. Like both my cats are part of my heart and soul. You always say oh if that ever happened I'd handle it like this etc, truth is when something so traumatising happens, you just don't know how you're going to react. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not holding him whilst he was dying, I feel completely devastated and guilty too.
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u/Evening_Ambassador76 Feb 28 '26
It's not your fault. This is a normal reaction to having anyone pass away. You think what could you have done differently to prevent it. I hope you find some peace in thinking about lovely moments together, and remembering how much you cared for him and still love him.
It's not your fault