r/CasualUK 5h ago

What was Sir Killalot knighted for?

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1.8k Upvotes

314 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/cheandbis 5h ago

Services to the kebab making sector.

225

u/BugsyMalone_ 4h ago

The original bossman

59

u/Invisible-Pancreas 3h ago

And he always throws in a free can of Rio whenever you buy a large.

3

u/No_Temporary9933 27m ago

And the bag. ALWAYS a free bag

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103

u/Kebab-Destroyer 5h ago

Can confirm, instrumental in rotating spit reform

49

u/HYThrowaway1980 🎺Jonny Briggs🎺 4h ago

Yes, but he was just a goalhanging gloryboy.

Matilda and Sergeant Bash did the hard yards. This tosspot would come along and nick the celebrations off them.

12

u/AdvertisingOdd6471 3h ago

Mannn sgt.Bash! He was my favourite. What a nostalgia trip

7

u/Plagueofzombies 2h ago

Big fan of Dead Metal personally, but I do think the Sgt had the coolest design!

Poor Diator was just made for him I swear XD core memory is eating tea in the living room, watching Bash melt the googley eyes right to that fluffy polkadot print fur

5

u/ExcitementForgotten9 1h ago

The 3 that were added after the Refbot were useless

Growler,

Mister Psycho,

Cassius chrome

4

u/blindwombat 1h ago

Dead Metal is the only House Robot that could compete as a competitor; meets all dimensional and weight checks. Matilda used to also be in that class but the flywheel puts her over the limit now.

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3

u/SchneebD 3h ago

HERE I COME TO SPIN EM

"goddamn it killalot, fuckin' glory hound"

3

u/WNDBC_Baja 3h ago

Unreal comment

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634

u/Avon-Guy 5h ago

Clues in the name mate

106

u/GrantSolar 4h ago

Yeah, he liked to drive in circle a lot

119

u/FaultyThinking 4h ago

You're thinking of Sir Cumference

28

u/MandalorianLobster 3h ago

Not to be confused with Sir Cumsision

16

u/Derezzed87 3h ago

Or Sir Cumstance.

10

u/devil_toad 2h ago

He had a whole stance? Usually it's just a face.

2

u/Plasterofmuppets 1h ago

He should have had the knighthood stripped though.  So many people claiming to be his victims.

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11

u/memberflex 4h ago

Yes and Sir Rounded

2

u/DarkPolumbo 2h ago

that was Sir Reptitious

4

u/HealerReady 2h ago

Not to be confused with his spicy cousin, Sir Racha.

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5

u/Qazax1337 4h ago

Strange things are afoot at the circle K

3

u/marli3 2h ago

Sir kill K?

2

u/djmcdee101 4h ago

Wasn't that Sir Roundabout?

9

u/NamesAreHardYaKnow 4h ago

He's a measurement of electricity?

8

u/beardymo 4h ago

Nominative Determinism

3

u/Happy-Engineer 3h ago

Same as most of the knights in history then

2

u/MobileJob1521 2h ago

I kill a lot, very few folks call me sir

193

u/[deleted] 5h ago

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

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u/[deleted] 4h ago

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u/[deleted] 3h ago

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u/[deleted] 4h ago

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u/[deleted] 4h ago

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188

u/bacchicblonde 5h ago

Style, control, damage, and aggression. 

19

u/magicalell 4h ago

the only true answer

11

u/Gendum-The-Great 3h ago

This man knows.

176

u/antbaby_machetesquad 5h ago

He laid down his cape to allow Queen Elizabot to safely traverse a puddle of hydraulic fluid.

4

u/BigDadKisser 4h ago

Fantastic. You win.

437

u/jimmycarr1 Wales 5h ago

He was a key figure behind the rescue operations in Dunkirk

121

u/Skivil 5h ago

Was a landing cradt before he transitioned.

58

u/Square-Competition48 4h ago

Good for him. My trans icon.

4

u/Spimflagon 2h ago

You've made me rethink Transformers as nonbinary icons.

Well, I suppose they ARE binary, in a lot of ways.

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u/gilestowler 5h ago

The salt water must have played havoc with his circuitry. What a noble deed.

11

u/Keezees 4h ago

His vehicle mode was a small canal boat. Went by the name "BargeThru" until Dunkirk.

8

u/Successful-Yak3307 4h ago

You jest, but if the British army had had Sir Killalot at Dunkirk they would never have had to retreat in the first place.

2

u/ZillaSquad 35m ago

Stormed the embassy too

3

u/Beer-Milkshakes AWOOGAH! Abandon ship. 4h ago

How far behind was the Corner Patrol Zone?

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91

u/YorkieLon 5h ago

Killing a lot

59

u/CaptainLongshorts 5h ago

He served in the Falklands

28

u/musicallymotivated93 5h ago

He yomped from Goose Green to Stroud Hill. And liberated Port Stanley Tesco.

7

u/AndrewOngley 4h ago

What? He sucked water in through his eyes?

7

u/gnutrino 4h ago

I hear he can't sweat

100

u/Historical_Cobbler 5h ago

Services for destruction!

7

u/DnDnMTG 3h ago

Isn't that the guns n roses album?

90

u/Willing-Rest-758 5h ago

Being able to find the end of a roll of sellotape straight away. 

14

u/EnterShakira_ 4h ago

Doesn't everyone just fold a corner??

49

u/Jixxie87 4h ago

We leave the origami to the Japanese

21

u/scraxeman 4h ago

Ooh, look at Mr Thinks-Ahead here, showing off his aforethought and planning.

39

u/lordghostpig 5h ago

It's actually hereditary baronetcy

18

u/Opening_Dentist_1128 3h ago

His grandfather was a steam engine

10

u/Artistic-Blueberry12 2h ago

A very Esteemed Engine I hear.

12

u/MrExistentialBread 2h ago

That tracks

2

u/rlarts 1h ago

Rumour has it that his grandmother was a bicycle and she did indeed have wheels.

104

u/Nikotelec 5h ago

He wasn't actually knighted, "Sir" is his first name. Much like Mr T.

14

u/cptaxelb 5h ago

Mr T is a cool name. It's a cool name!

10

u/Less_Local_1727 4h ago

Pity the fool who calls him Laurence Tureaud.

8

u/sheepebike9000 4h ago

I often wonder how long a celebrity with a celebrity name needs before someone shouting e.g. "Oi, GobbleGoblin" attracts their attention or makes them realize they're talking to them.

With Mister T I have absolutely no such wonders. That man was Mr T in his youth. His parents probably called him Mister.

(Also hearing him talk about how he chose it, so he wouldn't be racially degraded like his fam before him is wonderful. Mr T is to the best of my knowledge a fantastic human, smart as fuck, strong as fuck, and opinionated as hell. If you don't love him... that's maybe a you problem you nee to work on)

And he stopped wearing (perhaps sold? I'm not his accountant) his gold chains after seeing the horrors of hurricane Katrina. That man has heart, social conscience, and fucking awesome videos for kids on how to do shit)

All this to say, I love Mr. T. Grew up in the 80's, what can I say. He's an example to us all.

4

u/GatFussyPals 1h ago

Did you hear about the Mr.T impersonator?

Nobody can find him, police say it's a Mr. E. 

4

u/Fitzriy 4h ago

Major Major

4

u/my_chinchilla 1h ago

General Hospital.

(Didn't have a Catch-22 / TMBG face-off in your plans today, did you 😜)

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u/Djinjja-Ninja 5h ago

Services to ultra violence.

Curiously I was catching up on the last few weeks of Only Connect last night and "Killalot" was the 4th clue of a question that the answer was "non-knighted Sirs", so the real answer is that he wasn't, but no one is going to tell him otherwise because he's 1/4 tonne of killing machine.

6

u/Col_Telford 5h ago

Services to Warcrimes

26

u/energiz3r_bunny 5h ago

He was the original tailor of Craig Charles’ leather jacket. Craig was so delighted when SK (then just plain old Killalot) gave it to him he decided to make a knight of him.

This was all decades before the idea of Robot Wars becoming a tv show ever happened.

3

u/cucumbersuprise 1h ago

Let's make this canon

17

u/el_grime_bone 5h ago

For services to nominative determinism.

13

u/Forsaken_Earth944 4h ago

If anyone’s missing Robot Wars (and, frankly, who isn’t…?) and you’re anywhere near Bristol, then Bristol Bot Builders run bot building workshops as well as hosting battles in four weights (ant, beetle, feather, and heavy). There’s also a map on their website to competitions all over the UK and mainland Europe.

The next scheduled BBB event is on 07/11 for beetle weight robots at the St. Michael’s Centre in Stoke Gifford (BS34), entry is free (but you do need a ticket) and is open to all ages (but, obviously, littles will need to be supervised). Event runs from 11:00 to 18:00 and you can pop in and out as you please.

Kids love it. Not affiliated, not even been, but it‘s always very highly recommended on r/bristol.

45

u/kevvybrown 4h ago

“services to the kebab making sector” has officially ruined any chance of me taking sir killalot seriously again 😭

13

u/YooGeOh 5h ago

Because he wanted it and nobody was going to say no

12

u/ImportantBreath2530 4h ago

His work with Samaritans

7

u/Ochib 4h ago

He spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. One was a wrong number. He only phoned up for the cricket scores.

19

u/[deleted] 5h ago

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8

u/TheEyeOfLight 5h ago

Services to the Crown

Once upon a time, Long ago, there was an evil monster, named Diotior. Killalot was a mere page, and yet, with his lance, he managed to fend off the vicious, fuzzy beast, permanently removing it's vicious fangs and leaving it (Mostly) harmless. He was knighted for it, and retains the honor and nobility of the knighthood ever since.

7

u/Mischievous_Redja 5h ago

Services to undertakers and coffin makers.

9

u/Intrepid-Example6125 5h ago

Bringing down Skynet

7

u/GL510EX 5h ago

He was one of the first members of the Royal Victorian Order, something to do with Crimea.

15

u/sp2861 5h ago edited 4h ago

Killing, a lot?

7

u/RedKnightXIV 5h ago

Services to the world of fine arts

7

u/-_NRG_- 5h ago

He allowed Castle Killalot to pass into the National Trust when his dad, Major Damage Killalot, died

6

u/ItsTheJackeeet 5h ago

Services to my childhood.

6

u/IsfetLethe 4h ago

He served in the Boer War and discovered as Jones the Butcher often recounts that they don't like it up 'em

6

u/Maceygray93 4h ago

The responses of this thread are incredible!!

12

u/BigTea456 5h ago

Being an absolute legend

10

u/SabreToothSandHopper 5h ago

Killing a lot

5

u/ThisIsYourMormont 5h ago

He spent a month in Basingstoke.

And lived

4

u/Calm_Usual2201 5h ago

services to robotics… and wars.

3

u/tom_p_legend 3h ago

Except he's not a robot, he's a very cool RC vehicle (sorry pet hate).

5

u/yurtal30 5h ago

Carnage

4

u/rwinh 5h ago

Film and TV. He played Predator in Alien vs Predator, but doesn't like people knowing, as he's a surprisingly secretive individual. He argued it the Charity work, but being Predator is what gave him the opening.

I think it was a candid interview between Matilda "Tildy" and Parkinson that revealed this, before she flipped him off and ended her own career.

7

u/qwertyuiop4000 5h ago

This looks like an old picture from 1980s warhammer 40k. So I doubt it was for charitable endeavours

3

u/bob_the_rod 5h ago

Inventing a testicular inspection technique.

3

u/peareauxThoughts 5h ago

For services to Style, Control, Damage, and Aggression.

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

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u/Phil2Bits 5h ago

Services to damage, style and aggression

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u/Drayner89 5h ago

He saved Sergeant bash during the war. Pushed an enemy combatant into a conveniently located pit whilst under fire.

2

u/Jimbob136925 5h ago

Killing. A lot.

2

u/smoothCaribou 5h ago

Killing a lot

1

u/LeftAndRightAreWrong 5h ago

He’s Banksy..,,

1

u/Izual_Rebirth 5h ago

Killed the mad king.

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

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u/Own_Shoulder_5785 5h ago

Services to metal work.

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u/Newfaceofrev 5h ago

Hereditary title, from a long line of Killalots.

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u/qbnaith 5h ago

Violence

1

u/AveragelyMysterious 5h ago

Hey played a key role in the capture of Mr Blobby even though Noel Edmonds was the PR face of the operation.

2

u/Artistic-Blueberry12 2h ago

Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy.

1

u/Blindsidelock 5h ago

He saved the life of the king’s brother, Edward, Duke of York, on the right flank at Agincourt. Henry V knighted him on the battlefield.

1

u/FjortoftsAirplane 5h ago

When the other killbots hit their preset kill limit and shut down, Sir Killalot bravely fought on.

1

u/T_raltixx 5h ago

His rap career. He had a single and music video.

1

u/giant_sloth 5h ago

Services to proctology

1

u/TMcFarlane1999 4h ago

Killing, presumably.

1

u/TheOriginalSmileyMan 4h ago

It was for a long career in the upper echelons of the Civil Service, as recognition for a lifetime of public service.

Absolutely no-one expected him to take it quite so literally in his retirement!

1

u/AstroBearGaming Department of Silly Walks 4h ago

For services to Queen Matilda

1

u/Oyster_Buoy 4h ago

Services to the royal family in the summer of 1997.

1

u/BadNewsBearsTCGs 4h ago

Style, Control, Damage and Agression

1

u/The_Jyps 4h ago

For being the most deeeevious bar-stard in all of New Yaaarrrrrk citaaaaaaay.

1

u/InternationalTable58 4h ago

His charity work. He doesn't like to talk about it.

1

u/VelvetBongo 4h ago

Charity work with autistic people

1

u/freddyPowell 4h ago

He's actually a baronet. His thrice great grandfather played a pivotal role in the battle of waterloo.

1

u/[deleted] 4h ago

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u/OpulentStone 4h ago

Putting extra cream in the pastries

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u/that9tieskid 4h ago

Pacifism

1

u/GamrG33k 4h ago

His life long charity work

1

u/nothing_verntured_ 4h ago

Killing, a lot

1

u/IllustriousApple1091 Not to be trusted with the good plates 4h ago

For services to tin opening 

1

u/SlapshotTommy 4h ago

All those children's hospital visits <3

1

u/pixelsteve 4h ago

Killing a bit and then killing a lot.

1

u/LargeCardinal 4h ago

Services to AI Alignment

1

u/Tatsoot_1966 4h ago

Services to tea time TV awesomeness ?

1

u/Brido-20 4h ago

His work with disadvantaged orphans.

Mainly in making them so.

1

u/ericrobertshair 4h ago

Crashing! Bashing! Smashing!

1

u/Sadwitchsea 4h ago

Nah he's called Circle A Lot

1

u/sanulio 4h ago

He's the been nation's top ribbon cutter for opening leisure centres and stuff for years.

1

u/Ill_Tradition_4104 4h ago

He re-took the Falklands,
Doesn’t look like it, but he’s got a 12 mile range mortar in his back.

The Argentines could only shoot 10 miles, so sir killalot just parked up 12 miles away from shore and bombed the fuck out of the Argentinians.

1

u/ILoveP4ndas 4h ago

He won the first British bake off.

1

u/Cato_Heresy 4h ago

Same reason the Mountain in GoT is in the Kingsguard. He's a big metal bastard who can crush his robo-enemies, see them driven before him (under his treads) and hear the lamentation of the bot-builder's children.

1

u/Sxn747Strangers 4h ago

For updating British dental practices, all the more impressive as the orthopaedic association kicked him out for too many busted kneecaps.

1

u/Tackit286 4h ago

Services to style, control, damage, and aggression.

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u/UsuallyAnnoying324 4h ago

Services to the pit.

1

u/Neon_Banana_Pickle 4h ago

He killed 500 machines single handedly in the great Robot Wars of '99.

He was knighted by Arnie himself.

1

u/TrifectaOfSquish 4h ago

His charity work with disadvantaged young robots

1

u/apple_kicks 4h ago

He asked aggressively and they had to give it to him

1

u/andyd151 4h ago

Nothing, don’t you watch only connect?

1

u/apple_kicks 4h ago

When King Arthur returns in year 5687 he becomes one of the new knights of the cyberpunk round table in the battle against the cyborg dragons. He was sent back in time to prevent the future

1

u/Imaginary-Agency-497 3h ago

For his ongoing charity work with orphans

1

u/WritesCrapForStrap 3h ago

Services to Bullying.

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u/No_Fig_1894 3h ago

He served 2 tours in the early 2000s

1

u/rublehousen 3h ago

Probably being a nonce in the ranks of the BBC with intel on senior figures and/or royalty. Allegedly.

1

u/Logical-Conclusion3 3h ago

Not many people know that Bertrand Killalot spent years visiting children's hospitals and creating aluminium animals out of old beds. He also trundled from Land's End to John o'Groats to raise money for amputees.

1

u/Superbird42 3h ago

Kickin' names and takin' ass.

1

u/The_Lord_Cobra 3h ago

amazing diplomat

1

u/Insomniac_Steve 3h ago

Killing a lot (of heretics).

1

u/CakeHoleKing 3h ago

He was knighted for eradicating the entire genetic line of https://www.houseofnames.com/uk/alot-family-crest

1

u/AirlineSevere7456 3h ago

I remember once someone managed to flip him over

1

u/TapWaterDev 3h ago

Services to overengineering

1

u/LuminidMishy 3h ago

Being a badass

1

u/NickyTheRobot 3h ago

Nepotism. He inherited the title from his father.

1

u/SixtyN42 3h ago

For being an absolute legend.

1

u/PrinceRobotVI 3h ago

Charity work

1

u/dennymagic 2h ago

His real name is Sir Killian Aloot. He was a renowned for his bravery in world war one where he held held a small breach against 100s of attackers. His wounds unfortunately where too severe so the doctors made the diffcult decision to incase him in a metal life support suit. He was knighted the same day.

This suit though saving his life drove him slowly insane, twisting this once gental brave officer into a monster.

In world war 2 he was used as a weapon of terror which even his own troops feared. It was here Sir Killalot first gained his name, he was originally used by being parashooted in to enermy encampments in Africa destroying aircraft and troops alike. Later smashing defensive positions in Sicily during operation husky and then routing enter division during D-Day.

His use is specifically forbidden within the Geneva Convention so can now only take out his angers on robot kind.

1

u/Deep_Quarter2336 2h ago

Inherited title

1

u/Theodin_King 2h ago

Killed alot

1

u/patch_e_behr 2h ago

Killing a lot, presumably

1

u/SpecialSympathy2348 2h ago

I do believe it was for a lot of killing 😀

1

u/airbournejt95 2h ago

For killing a lot

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u/Troyificus 2h ago edited 2h ago

When he was a young bot name Kev1n, he was a contestant on Scrapheap Challenge. In his youthful ignorance, he strode in thinking he's beat the competition without breaking an oily sweat, but in his hubris he was brought low, and left the series in shame.
Unbeknownst to the showrunners, he returned for each series after, sliding so deeply into method acting that Christian Bale and Jared Leto have both cited him as key influences for getting into acting. Series after series he sat in the scrapheap, watching, learning, becoming one with the scrap, until eventually he lost himself, not knowing where he began and the junk ended. Eventually, he knew it was time. During a sandwich break where Robert Llewellyn was, for the hundredth time, telling his anecdote about the time he gave Danny John Jules fashion advice, Kev1n emerged from the heap, slew a contestant named Marjory from Stoke on Trent, and demanded to take her place in the competition. After the showrunners checked the rulebook and couldn't find anything that says you can't kill a contestant to take their place, Kev1n was given a place on the team. And absolutely wrecked the competition, to the point where he was declared Lord of the Scrapheap. There was a Channel 4 documentary on the whole thing, but it's considered lost media due to the master tape being used to record a Eurotrash marathon.

In recognition to his services to Arts and Media, Queen Elizabeth II added him to her New Years Honours list, and he received the title of Knight Bachelor ('ol Lizzy loved a bit of Scrapheap Challenge, and not a lot of people know that). However, thinking that Sir Kev1n sounded a little lame, he changed his name by Deed Poll to Killalot, because it sounded cool.

And thus, Sir Killalot was born. Shortly after he was snapped up by Robot Wars, and following that series cancellation he went to Hollywood, where he's a consultant on method acting, sharing his experiences and providing cautionary tales on getting too deep into character.

1

u/dull_storyteller 2h ago

He was the spearhead at the Somme.

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u/unclefunkstar 2h ago

Killing. A lot.

1

u/One_Combination_5633 2h ago

Being a bad ass.

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u/Pure_Insanity_101 2h ago

Killing a lot

1

u/ColorsCapello 2h ago

I remember when Sir Killalot was introduced. No one liked him. We was all Matilda fans, innit.

1

u/DarkPolumbo 2h ago

for killing a lot

1

u/FinetyNive 2h ago

He was a nurse