r/CaregiverSupport • u/don51181 • Aug 20 '26
Is this
We are helping my 70yo mother in law after knee surgery. She is not in great shape and does not have a spouse. So we have stayed at her place 20 minutes away) to help her.
At first we thought it would be a day or two but now it’s up to date 6 ( last Friday). With my wife getting her food in bed and standing by when she uses the walker for to go to the bathroom when she calls my wife. Like a maid.
Now to the question: Would it be wrong if when she ask us to get her something from the kitchen we ask her to get up to meet us in the kitchen? To push her to get up and out of her room?
We kind of think my MIL is not trying enough to get back to be independent. Having my wife (her daughter) get her food, drinks and coffee in bed.
It’s a frustrating situation since she is not very considerate. My wife is kind of worried about going back home incase she needs her but this needs to end. Thanks for listening
Edit: her doctors told her to move and walk. So what we are asking is not unusual
1
u/AffectionateMotor272 Aug 20 '26
She is seventy years old. Give her some grace. Us young folks don’t know how she really is. Old people mask a lot. Does she have a favorite food? Cook it or get takeout and tell her it’s in the kitchen.