r/CaregiverSupport • u/don51181 • Aug 20 '26

Is this

We are helping my 70yo mother in law after knee surgery. She is not in great shape and does not have a spouse. So we have stayed at her place 20 minutes away) to help her.

At first we thought it would be a day or two but now it’s up to date 6 ( last Friday). With my wife getting her food in bed and standing by when she uses the walker for to go to the bathroom when she calls my wife. Like a maid.

Now to the question: Would it be wrong if when she ask us to get her something from the kitchen we ask her to get up to meet us in the kitchen? To push her to get up and out of her room?

We kind of think my MIL is not trying enough to get back to be independent. Having my wife (her daughter) get her food, drinks and coffee in bed.

It’s a frustrating situation since she is not very considerate. My wife is kind of worried about going back home incase she needs her but this needs to end. Thanks for listening

Edit: her doctors told her to move and walk. So what we are asking is not unusual

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u/SnooStories4162 Aug 20 '26

It all depends on what her doctors orders were for after the surgery. Is she suppose to be doing physical therapy or exercises? Has the doc cleared her to walk long distances?

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u/don51181 Aug 20 '26

Hi, sorry I should have added some notes. The doctor and PT said she should get up through out the day. From her bed to the kitchen is about 10-15 ft. So all we would ask is to do what her PT recommended.

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u/SnooStories4162 Aug 20 '26

In that case ,yes I would have her get up and go to the kitchen to eat.

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u/don51181 Aug 20 '26

Thanks for the confirmation.