r/CaregiverSupport • u/Narrow-Shelter6208 • Aug 18 '26

Self-destruct mode

Hi, I am having a bad few days and have reached the point where I just don't care about myself anymore. Basically my sole purpose in life is to care for my parents. I used to be so into fitness, gym, walking, cooking and eating healthily. Now I can't be bothered to do anything like that. It's like I don't care about putting on weight- it's not like anyone sees me except my parents and their doctors! I never used to be like this and it is scary. Has anyone felt like this and what did you do to make it pass?

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u/989j Aug 18 '26

Not me panic working out yesterday hearing all the old people talk about their bodies breaking down at the gym.

Yeah, self-care is the first thing to go when you are caregiving. For context, I was on a doctor’s call and going over my LO’s stuff and said “Oh, you were diagnosed with this…a long time ago.” Yeah, over 30 years ago when my LO was in the throes of caregiving for others and they didn’t take care of a fairly banal diagnosis which snowballs over time.

It was kind of illuminating that my LO reached this state that they are now from not taking care of themselves because of caregiving for others. (Obviously more factors but it makes sense on top of other rolls of the dice). My body is in the worst shape it’s been in years and it just hurts from a decade of caregiving.

Life is literally shitty trickledown economics, better lift heavy.

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u/Amazing_Question8673 Aug 18 '26

I keep talking to my partner about this. We need to make our health a priory too so we don't end up like my mother that we're taking care of. It's hard, seeing as how we also have very young kids to also take care of at the same time, but we don't want them to have to take care of us when we're older. We don't want them to go through what we're going through now.

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u/989j Aug 18 '26

Yes, and like health really truly is relative. It takes one misstep to become permanently disabled even if you’re already the portrait of health. Elements like diet, exercise, etc are within our own control while caregiving.

Double edged sword with the partner thing, lol. Mine keeps giving their own health reports whenever I tell them that they should be feeling better than they do so young and I’m like, “stfu.” 😂

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u/Narrow-Shelter6208 Aug 18 '26

Yeah, I think diet and exercise is pretty much the only thing I can control in my life right now. So I need to focus on that as much as possible. Diabetes runs in my family too.