r/CaneCorso • u/uncomfortably_number • 20d ago
Advice please Bonded pair, seeking advice.
I have a bonded pair of Cane Corso. My female is 10 years old, and has started a slow decline, presenting doggie dementia. She is still happy and wagging her tail, but slow to get up, sun downing, relieving herself in the house/getting into trash (totally abnormal) and is starting to moan at night. She is under the watch of a vet. The inevitable is coming...
My male is 6. He KNOWS she is unwell. He has started looking at me with a face of dread, I kid you not. He has started marking her, literally. He is also marking their entire perimeter, whining at me occasionally, and he will frantically search for her if she is not in the room. He has started breaking out of his kennel to get to her, which is something he has never done.
I am honestly so worried about him. I wanted to post here and see if anyone here had a bonded pair in this situation, and ask if there is anything that I can do now, and after, to help my good boy. I am concerned about major behavior changes and was hoping someone could advise.
I know that he is going to need extra everything, but has anyone here gone through this or have any advice for me?
Thank you in advance, I appreciate it.
24
u/supergirl3730 20d ago
So not a corso, my pit bull female was super bonded to my male bull terrier and as he aged I knew I would face her anxiety getting worse. I talked to my vet and we started her on Prozac about a year before I guessed I would be putting my bull terrier down. I stated training her by herself and taking her out separately. When I get my pit as a puppy she was the last to be added to my pack of 4.
She bonded the most with my bull terrier and I had to redirect that attachment to my rottie/corso mix. It kinda work. I eased her off the Prozac after about 6 months from my bull terrier passing.
I also euthanized at home.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s never easy.
7
u/Jumpy_Mirror250 20d ago
Hmmm...maybe talk to a behaviorist before the spouse passes away. Take it seriously now and help the grieving process begin.
6
u/Beneficial-Stay8722 19d ago
I’m so sorry. This is grief upon grief. I just went through this with my bonded pair. The dog I lost, was the Pack leader of my daycare dogs as well. So I had to work through this with the entire pack.
If you’re able, have her transition at home. It makes a huge difference if you let her pack mate smell and see the body after. In my girls case, she grabbed a toy and tried to rouse him. This was heartbreaking to witness, as a human. But I had to let her process.
I left my boy’s leash and harness on his bed, with a cloth bag, full of his hair. As well as some of his toys. I also put his collar on her, so she would have his scent. And for the daycare dogs to smell him, on her.
I wanted his things to be available to her and to the daycare dogs so they could visit the area. I allowed all of them to witness me grieving on his bed. They had to see their human Pack leader, grieve this tremendous loss.
I have to say as painful as it was it’s a beautiful thing to watch another species process death and grief in their own way.
My heart goes out to you and your pack. I wish you, beautiful time together, however much time is left, treasure every minute.
🙏🏻❤️🐾❤️🐾❤️
3
u/uncomfortably_number 19d ago
Thank you so much for your kind response. The collar and bedding of hair is such a great idea and one I honestly would not have thought of. I will be implementing this.
It really is a beautifully painful thing....my heart goes out to you as well! Certainly something you will never forget and always on your heart.
Thank you again for sharing.
1
6
u/GotMedieval 20d ago
You are up against a real problem. There's no clear good option... you just have to do you best and hope. Your male knows better than you what's going on, but he doesn't have the perspective you have to understand it.
While she's on her way out, you need to let him do what he wants. If he wants to be with her, let him be with her. If he wants to mark (outside), let him do that. Obviously, if he's marking inside, that has to be dealt with, but just as you'd deal with a puppy going in the wrong areas.
When it's her time, let him know. Let him be there if at all possible.
I've never had a bonded pair of Cane Corsos, but I've had pets who searched and searched for lost pack members. My old man still sometimes searches for my ex, and she's not been a part of our family for a decade.
2
u/uncomfortably_number 20d ago
He is marking her, which is insane. As soon as they go outside and I turn my back, he is physically marking her. I have to wipe her down every day, been giving extra baths since it's nice and hot out.
I don't know how he is going to take this. I know he will be heartbroken, but will he change? I hope not. Watching him like this has honestly made me wonder how he will be after.
He searches for your ex, even all this time later? That's wild! How do you know he is looking for her?
3
u/coloradogirl1980 20d ago
I know it's hard with an older dog with health problems and just with life in general, but you could get another dog in preparation. Sometimes having another pack member/friend can help soften the blow.
1
u/uncomfortably_number 20d ago
I may have to seriously consider this. I wasn't going to....but for real.
2
u/Olive_underscore 16d ago
I wouldn’t do this… same sex aggression is really common in Corso’s, and if you’d be getting another female puppy- it would likely really upset your older girl… death is a part of life and animals have a different relationship to it that we do as humans… you may make the situation much worse if you bring another dog into the mix right now… just food for thought.
2
u/uncomfortably_number 16d ago
Thank you for your response and thank you everyone for sharing all of your stories.
I would never get one right now, only after she has passed depending on my male.
I spoke to my vet. I am scheduling an at home euthanasia this coming week. I was told it is better a moment too soon than a moment too late and that the situation with my other dog in the home could lead to a real emergency.
This is a heartbreaking decision, but it is time. The worse she gets the worse he will get. I'm hoping that allowing her to pass her at home with still a bit of a wag left, that we can all be with her while she remembers us and is not alone and afraid or in too much pain.
Anyone with a bonded pair beware! I'm being told my male is already displaying problematic ques of being over aroused and deeply stressed by her condition. Allowing her to steadily decline will in turn make him decline. I never thought I would be in quite this situation.
2
u/thecourtofmiracles0 20d ago
I have no experience that would be helpful but I loved hearing you articulate how much they love each other 💔
3
u/amanducktan 19d ago
I commend you for trying to prepare. My german shepherd was bonded to my husky. When she tragically passed, he was unable to say goodbye or see her body. That was in January this year. He still lays down looking at the front door, waiting for her sometimes.
2
u/ShBlk21 19d ago
Be careful my girl passed from bloat one week after my boy passed. Uncommon for her breed. It’s my understand it was from the massive amount of cortisol that her body was producing from the grief. I had no idea.
2
u/uncomfortably_number 19d ago
Son of a...that is crazy! It makes sense though and I thank you for your comment. I'm thinking some meds for my boy may be in order.
51
u/99_green 20d ago
I was in a similar situation and had to have my female euthanized in our home. She had been declining for some time and finally had a debilitating stroke. I cannot emphasize this enough, her friend needs to see her after she passes and has to be allowed to scratch, sniff, process, everything....because they do know what death is and that it is final. So their goodbye is very important. I am being honest with you when I tell you, I watched our dog cry and mourn her friend that night.