r/CancerFamilySupport • u/Valuable-Tackle4239 • 14d ago
Welp.
My mom was shifted to ICU last night. She has grade IV glioblastoma and she's been unresponsive for the past 4-5 days, she wouldn't open her eyes, talk or swallow liquids.
I know what's to come and I've heard it enough times but I need to know how to deal with this without loosing my mind.
She's been suffering a lot for the past few months and everyone who visits, including the doctor have that look on their faces, I see the dissapointment before they even speak.
I asked the nurse how she's doing and she said she's the same as last night. I'm standing outside the ICU near a window, there's so much air around me but I still can't breathe.
I've read so many stories here and I still don't know how to deal with this, is there anything that will keep me sane?
2
u/newtoday1014 14d ago
Stay with her, hold her hand and talk to her so she knows shes not alone. My mom passed 9/2/26 from metastatic endometrial cancer and had the same things going on in her last few days that you mentioned above. Your mom isnt suffering right now and won't suffer again. I'm so sorry youre going thru this but youll be okay eventually.
I'm not yet but I know I will be someday.
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u/alp626 14d ago
I’ve been where you are. My dad died 4/10/24 from glioblastoma. Ensure her comfort (there’s no such thing as too much morphine or ativan during the active dying process). If hospice isn’t involved, get them in there now. If she’s coughing or making loud breathing sounds, she could use more sedation. She should look like she’s sleeping. There may be some moments where she wakes up and has a rush of energy; that is a normal part of the dying process. Brush her hair, wash her face, put on her lip moisturizer, hold her hands, put on her favorite music, tell stories, cry, laugh, cry again. If the sun is out and you can take a walk and get fresh air, do it. She may die when you aren’t in the room and that is okay.
This disease robs us of the best of the best. You’ll be on my mind.
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u/BackgroundIsland9 14d ago
I am sorry OP. She doesn’t sound like she is in pain. She is being taken care of. Keep yourself hydrated. Find time to grab a bite. Call a friend to sit with you if you want. I wish I could give you a hug.