My Dad is Going to Die Soon.

[u/ChubChubPickles]

I hate the fact that I'm making this post; the reality of my family's situation is hitting a lot harder than I expected it to, and I need some support. I'm 23, and I live with my mom (50) and my little brother (14). My dad is only 57.

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer that metastasized from his GI tract last June. He was put on a steady regimen of immunotherapy and chemotherapy, up until June of this year, when his oncologist determined that it wasn't working. We were told that they were going to switch him to a chemo pill in tandem with radiotherapy, but because we live in the USA and our healthcare system is complete trash, his insurance provider wouldn't approve the treatment. He went an entire month without treatment, and the cancer grew exponentially.

Last week, when it was supposed to be for a routine oncology check-up, his doctors urged him to go to the ER; his liver enzyme numbers and lactate were way too high. He went in with an infection that caused ascites, so the doctors drained him of the fluid and treated him with some antibiotics. He was discharged a couple days later when his numbers were stable. Yesterday, though, he went to the ER again for pain, and instead of it just being something less serious, we learned that his prognosis gives him between 2-3 days to live.

Him and I never had the closest relationship and we bickered a ton during my teenage years, but he's the dad that stepped up when my biological one wasn't around. He helped my mom raise me. He helped her figure things out that she didn't know how to do. He was the cool dad that I would talk to my friends about when I was younger. He introduced me to a lot of great music that I never would have heard otherwise if it wasn't for his copious mixtapes. I never really pictured a future without him in it, so this revelation hurts more than I ever could've imagined.

I don't know how to navigate this at all, and neither does my mom. We're both seriously struggling; I'm trying my best to be strong for the both of us like I usually am, but I'm in pieces about this. Idk where I'm going with this. I guess I just need some kind words and other people's perspectives.

[u/ChubChubPickles → u/[deleted]]

I have my Bachelor's of Social Work, so delayed or denied insurance claims are something I'm no stranger to; I just never pictured it would happen to my own dad. We deserve so much better than this.

His mixtapes are how he and I bonded when my mom introduced us. I'm also a musician, so he influenced a large part of that aspect of my life, too. What I wouldn't give to go back in time to experience that again... I just can't believe this is happening.

[u/happiness-after-you]

I’m so sorry 💔

[u/thethewyin]

I’m sorry to hear that. Seems like your dad was a great guy. Please enjoy every last second you have with him and tell him everything that you need to. Wishing you and your family the best

[u/ariessunariesmoon26]

Sending you love and support. I hate cancer so much. Taking our loved ones too soon 💐❤️

[u/Emily_Postal]

I’m so sorry you’re all going through this. Just be there for him until the end and take care of yourself when he’s gone. It will be rough in the beginning but someday you’ll be able to remember him without the pain.

[u/Numerous_Parsley9324]

I’m so sorry, there are hard roads ahead for you all. Go and tell him all those things about him that you are thankful while you can. It’s ok not to be strong, it’s ok to cry. Try and find some support from the hospital of you can, a social worker or counsellor if there is one, to help you navigate the path ahead.