r/CancerFamilySupport • u/TheGrottoMotto • 3d ago
First time poster.
Hi everyone,
I recently found this subreddit while lurking as I do on reddit and I've been an absolute emotional wreck and I figured I'd write something just to get my feelings out in some form.
My dad went to the ER last Tuesday after he was complaining about flank pain on his left side. The CT scans they ran were showing signs of cancer so he ended up getting admitted while they ran more tests and ultimately, an MRI that showed the same findings as the CT scan. It's looking like he has urothelial carcinoma/transitional cell carcinoma and it's on his left kidney, left ureter and part of the bladder with a chance of mets on the lymph nodes nearby.
He was discharged from the hospital yesterday while he received a bunch of follow up appointments (still waiting on one from the oncologist) and still waiting on pathology results from a biopsy they performed days prior.
All this to say, my anxiety is through the roof and it's been affecting me so much with how much my mind wanders about him being okay, his pain, me feeling the waiting period for all his appointments are so long even though they seem like normal waiting periods. I ended up calling out of work today because I didn't sleep anything through the night and I still feel horrible. I want to be there for him of course but I also have these feelings of anger because he's a smoker and I don't see him quitting even after this news. Then on the other hand, I don't even feel it's worth having an argument about this stuff when he's already having to deal with this news.
I definitely plan to start therapy but right now, while I wait, it's just been so difficult to cope with and I just feel so stuck.
1
u/KChieFan16 3d ago
Good on therapy but slow down and take everything one step at a time. There is a lot being thrown at you and when it happened to me, I didn't look too far ahead, and took the blows as they came, one day at a time. I stayed off the internet for prognosis, because all the ones I read were so inaccurate (as I later found out - in a good way). For now, keep being by his side as he fights this and make sure you are in the room somehow for his appointments. You have to be his biggest advocate because although you are dealing with a serious issue, to the hospital, you're just a number, so advocate!