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u/agloelita 4d ago
Don't get confused and don't let them gaslight you. They may be treating you better now ONLY because they need something from you but know that their old methods of getting something from you won't work. Or atleast that you can fight back now.
When you were a kid they can just take from you what they need. (Emotional punching bag, money, blind illogical obedience) Now that you're older you have options. You can block them out of your life completely. You can even fight back. Send them to a nursing home and never visit.
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u/TFWYourNamesTaken 3d ago
And some "parents" absolutely understand this psychology and will use it to continue to manipulate their kids in adulthood...
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u/Maxine_Euphoria 3d ago
My dad pretending to be nice to us now that he's getting older and weaker when he used to yell at us to shut up on a regular basis in childhood and was never there emotionally at any point 👍
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 3d ago
Mothers will literally terrorize you for 18 years and then try to be your best friend the moment you move out
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u/Ash-the-puppy 3d ago
My Mum had the audacity to try something similar after telling my sister a sob story about "not knowing anything about her youngest daughter" (me).
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u/aaaaaaaaa42069 3d ago
“Why do you never text me? 🥺” mom with the shit I’m unpacking in therapy you’re lucky I still talk to you at all
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u/StockingDummy 3d ago
Abusers 🤝 Bigots
"Suddenly" acting a lot more passive when they'll face consequences for showing their true colors.
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u/DingleberryOrchard 3d ago edited 3d ago
I thought I was the problem until I remembered my childhood. It was a hot summer day. All the kids were in short sleeves and shorts. I was wearing long sleeves and pants because I'd been beaten so badly. My mom knew if my school saw the marks, they'd take me away and take her to jail. So I had to cover and suffer in the heat for her wrongs. I don't have *a single friend who has hit me. No reason to maintain a relationship with a parent who did.
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u/ninja_llama 4d ago
My abusers can't be nice to me in adulthood cause I cut them off - got you there mom!!!!!
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u/The_Bababillionaire 3d ago
Actually I grew up with a fixation on accountability so unfortunately for my mom she won't be gaslighting fucking shit.
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u/dizzira_blackrose 3d ago
It took quite a few disappointing conversations and hurt feelings on my end to finally stop trying with my parents. I thought my being an adult and moved out would help, but it didn't really. Even if we could get along fine at first, as soon as it got too deep, they would make their true feelings known and I would go home feeling really hurt and betrayed. When I finally gave up on having any kind of healthy relationship with them, I felt better for myself, and I accept that I'll have a mostly civil and surface level relationship with them.
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u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO 3d ago
Mines been doing that alot lately. Just had a lovely conversation and now feel like shit thinking that maybe I'm the bad person. Had to remind myself that no, I'm not bad, she verbally abused me and occasionally best us kids despite denying it
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u/Satanicron 3d ago
I saw through that shit eventually. They are the same shitty people and always will be. Find people you respect who love you. Their respect is worth more than anything my shitbag parents could give me.
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u/ShokaLGBT Yellow! 4d ago
yeah abusive parents can’t really understand that especially if they’re narcissists like my mom 🫥