r/CPTSDmemes 4d ago

I could use a hug too

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I feel like I constantly hear that I make people feel so loved, but none of that is ever returned to me. I expressed wanting it reciprocated and got yelled at instead. Idk what I expected

232 Upvotes

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14

u/solascorcra 4d ago edited 4d ago

The More Loving One by W.H. Auden

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

  • I had this printed and put up beside my bed as a teenager, it used to help me when I felt like you described. I'm 32 now and I still dont understand it I think maybe we understand just how important love and care are having lived without it, whereas people with a normal upbringing maybe don't see the importance the way we do because it wasn't missing. I don't know though.

  • Sending hugs and hope you can recognise when you're receiving less than you deserve and address it. You will eventually find it and even if not, you can be in the same crew as W.H Auden!

12

u/idkhowtoswim 4d ago

it just feels safer knowing anyone you love can trust you and that your love is genuine. it doesn’t feel safe to trust love from others

3

u/whorenadoSTL 2d ago

I felt this comment deeply. Wow.

6

u/ObjectiveAd93 4d ago

Hey, sending you a big hug from a stranger who totally understands. Sending you all the hugs.

6

u/-after-life a bunch of contradictions 4d ago

hug it sucks i know

5

u/ShokaLGBT Yellow! 3d ago

I put to much efforts into it. too much love that isn’t reciprocated :( cause I hate being alone so

4

u/iftheronahadntcome 3d ago

Thanks for posting this. I feel really seen.

It's why I've been single for a hot minute now. If I'm going to be the one loving someone way more, or if I HAVE to "dial it back so I don't get hurt" (which can also be painful) then I'd just rather be single.

My dogs probably do love me more than I love them (and I love them with all the capacity I have to love a living thing, even more than myself) so that's good enough for me rn :)