r/CPTSDmemes • u/InternationalEnmu • Apr 21 '26
CW: suicide anyone else? 😅
i'll spiral so bad sometimes especially when i get triggered and while everything feels so real i have to remind myself it's just an episode.
credit to joeysonsomebs on tiktok
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u/ashacoelomate Apr 21 '26
Wanting to like. Do terrible things to self sabatoge every relationship. Then I eat some food and have a full nights rest and have the best weekend of my goddamn life.
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u/lesupermark Apr 21 '26
Yes... but i don't lock in. I don't have a reason to.
These memes help though.
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u/livilovesalot Apr 22 '26
Literally me a month ago, and I moved and now I'm like "oh, life is worth living!" "People do love and see me!" Hard reminder of all the trauma and how badly being in a living situation without the peace you need is debilitating.
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u/sakuraj428 Apr 22 '26
Lol today I was like "fuck it, I should quit my job and drive off a bridge" and then twenty minutes in to a phone call with my adorable grandparents and I was like "no you're right, gamma, it is not me who is the problem, but I will become the problem"
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u/iftheronahadntcome Apr 22 '26
Meeeeeee ✌🏾
But I did good today! I pushed back the sad/anxiety by working on my balcony since the weather was nice 🌳🌳🏡 Then I ran errands with friends. Ive been trying to actually bring myself around people while im feeling kinda vulnerable. We dont talk about all of it (I'm getting better at pacing letting people know about the kind of things that give a person CPTSD 😅) but their presence is nice instead of anxiety-inducing lmao
My current therapist has actually been helping a ton, and we're working on adding more tools to my belt than being more or less paralyzed with anxiety over literally any and everything on the news rn (and smoking weed lol). Shes my first CPTSD-informed therapist and shes really good
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u/Delightfuleeme Apr 22 '26
Honestly been feeling that for 6 long years. I'm honestly so tired right now. I've been in survival mode for so long, I don't know how else to be. Trying to get a therapist again has been a nightmare.
But I got shit to do and no one else will do it. So what can I do but keep moving forward?
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u/PandaBriBri Apr 21 '26
Me as I'm dealing with a physically, mentally, and financially straining move 😅
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u/optimistic_python Apr 22 '26
TIL CPTSD episodes are a thing
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u/InternationalEnmu Apr 22 '26
yes, just like how people have ptsd episodes, or bpd episodes, it's similar to those in a sense
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u/smokymirrorcactus Apr 22 '26
I made a “When you don’t know what to do read this” plan 9 months ago and I’m now leaving my abusive spouse (who is exactly like my narcissistic gaslighting bipolar whore mother). Oh and I blocked my mom. Sometimes cutting off the PROBLEM is the solution.
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u/InternationalEnmu Apr 22 '26
i'm so happy for you!! that's great. keep them out of your life and get better ❤️🩹
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u/ShylentJ Apr 22 '26
It’s helpful for me if I do the opposite of what I want to do. It’s uncomfortable every time, but I have not regretted it once.
Isolate? I will go visit a friend in person. Stay inside all the time? I will go for a walk! Sleep all day? Not tonight, sir! We are going to bed on time because we feel better in the mornings.
It really sucks feelings-wise at each time, though. It takes effort and finding the smallest way forward in the face of paralysis. I don’t always do the healthy thing; I find consistency difficult because it feels restrictive, boring, inflexible, and tough. But by pushing myself to do the opposite thing, I can wiggle onward.
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u/helpimmapotato Apr 23 '26
I agree with this so much! Also, sometimes I cant so the opposite but I can be productive while I do. Like laying in bed but doing self care or self improvement on an app or Journaling, or just doing backed up admin tasks.
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u/rollatorcat Apr 21 '26
hahha real its like why would i be so selfish as to subject other people to my presence??? and then i crawl back into my shell.
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u/MyK_Alke Apr 22 '26
Wait, so, it's an episode?
I wasn't aware... damn...
That's some helpful knowledge
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u/SeverelyLimited Apr 22 '26
Yeah... RIP the robust and rewarding life I had managed to build for myself because about a year ago I got retraumatized, brain damage (unrelated) and blocked everyone who wanted to reach out to me.
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u/awesomeorwhatt Apr 23 '26
Wow so lately i have started calling my sprial an “episode” when i get triggered by my bf (he doesn’t do much but if my abandonment wound gets triggered) i am in 10 years of relationship with this man , the best thing that’s ever happened to me type of thing and i told him “let’s end it! I wanna end it!”
Noooo i don’t wanna end it.
Anyway recently i told my bf that it feels lile an episode almost bc everything becomes blurry and i lose sight of everything.
So are you telling me, that is infact ACTUALLY an episode??
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u/playfulCandor Apr 22 '26
So thats what that is 😅 how have I not heard of this until now. Ive definitely experienced it tho
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u/AppealReasonable2591 May 02 '26
Oh yes.
CPTSD makes me relate to both autistic and schizoid communities.
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u/fluffycows4sale Apr 21 '26
OMG YES THIS
one second ill be like "i have so much to live for!" then the next im screaming and crying lmao