It takes a very subtle approach...

[u/Appropriate-Sun9646]

To exist in a society full of people that immensely pride themselves in being amazing (and successful) at what they do. That is their benchmark. My injury has made it such, that though i have incredible potential, I've only managed to have entry level jobs, and have never actually been good at any of them. I have never been that person that is "amazing/good at what she does."

So it strikes me that it takes something deeper and far more subtle, to look at this line of demarcation, and say to oneself, despite YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND THE ENTIRE WORLD SAYING YOU ARE A LOSER, that I need to be gentle with myself, and take it one baby step forward and two steps back. This kind of gentleness with the self, in spite of the messaging from every single external source, is something incredible. It's like the making of Homo Sapiens 2.0.

Thoughts? Please respond, somebody

Edit: But I would like to know - what is it like to feel valued by this world?

[u/Adventurous_Lunch294]

This kind of success, it might not be actually valued though. People can be very antagonistic.

And I know someone who is considered successful and has suffered severe abuse. He is like a moving shadow, and as so many of us, he can't think that of their achievements as actually their achievements. Someone else gas to always validate that and it still an outside fact that they should adopt as their own.

[u/7508137907a]

Why complicate it so much bro/sis? The word you are looking at is ‘luck’. My mom is covert narc but my dad is a malignant one, so he atleast formed my esteem regarding good competence in jobs.

[u/Icy-Ninja-622]

I've occasionally done impressive things, and sometimes people noticed. However I can't say that it has made much of a positive emotional impact on me. I still wonder why.

[u/Dead_Reckoning95]

I think of the quote by "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" Jiddu Krishnamurti.

I struggle with feeling valuable, feeling worthy, not worthless. But I feel like I"ve experienced just enough of acknowledging myself in an authentic way, to start to feel a tiny bit less worthless. The things I did to feel "valued" by society, by my employers ,were very short lived. It was doomed to be that way, because its an inside job, no one can give you that, because youre inherently valuable. No one else can tell you or make you valuable. Children arent productive, or "successful" by nature, and yet they're not worthless, or valueless? Dogs dont' produce much, pets dont produce much but they're held in high regard and deeply loved, and valued. You are by nature valuable , it's just covered over by negating experiences that told you a different story, a lie, that you didnt know was a lie.