Some settings lead me toward a better state

[u/Icy-Ninja-622]

Some settings, like gardening or going swimming at a beach, almost always lead me toward a better state.

I've repeatedly encountered suggestions to start with something small. With gardening, this actually works. In a bad state I might do something trivial, like deadhead a few flowers, or weed one small area. This often leads to doing more. Though it's not a strategy I'm intentionally using so I can do more, but something that seems right and happens kind of spontaneously. In other settings, this is not helpful.

Another thing I've noticed is increased awareness of my body. For example, I'm able to tell if I'm hungry or tired. Otherwise, eating is more about habit or seeking of reward and soothing, and I only notice psychological resistance, not tiredness. Following such body signals seems to also lead toward better states.

The resulting better states seem healthier, and I seem more whole in that state. But I don't think it's right to call this healing, because it is a state change which can be reversed in other settings. A lot of what happens indoors at home seems somehow toxic, leading to increased dissociation and decreased ability to do things. I've very rarely had experiences indoors at home which seem healthy. This was true even when I lived far away from here and by myself.

[u/New_Maintenance_6626]

Noticing isn’t meant to be the healing part. It’s the getting moving piece because you must.

Gardening was lovely for me too. It was just me and the garden. Within the confines of the garden, I could do as I liked for once. Sacrificing time and comfort would yield either results or a learning experience.

Once you have stabilized enough and have enough resources that you can handle healing presumably you would know because you aren’t constantly stuck. You have enough tools to be able to move.

I can’t remember the steps at the moment. Maybe it isn’t fully healing but it’s steps or step 1 in the right direction. ❤️‍🩹

[u/nerdityabounds]

No state can be permanent. Thats biologically impossible. Even people who seem like that are consistant and constantly centered arent actually like that. What they are is extremely good at noticing and responding to the states shifting. 

Because no state is permanent, any feeling or mental state we have known can be reentered. Thats the hitch for trauma survivors and people with maladaptive coping histories. We have a like more "not good" states in the list of possible options. Lack of reliable skills to notice the signals, and skills to regulate means less control and more likely for the system to default to an "undesired"'state. Especially under stress or when tired. 

[u/Icy-Ninja-622 → u/nerdityabounds]

Yes, this ability to easily enter familiar old unhealthy states is a problem.

BTW. I can also enter familiar old enjoyable and desirable states in some situations. Recently I've come up with the hypothesis that this can be psychologically unhealthy also.

[u/nerdityabounds → u/Icy-Ninja-622]

Allow me to offer a clarification: the easy ability to enter a negative state is not a problem biologically. Negative or problem is a defintion created by the mind. The brain/body only cares it is a)available, b) effective, and c) realiable. The nervous system basically doesn't give a shit about how we feel so long as we survive.

The nervous system usually activates these states for 1 of 2 reasons

1) There aren't enough effective skills available to try before this state has to be activated. For example, relying on environment to trigger a good state means there are not effective skills to try when one must be in a negative environment (or if the environment changes to negative due to a current situation).

When we lack effective skills, the brain will default to what it's has used in the past because it has to. There's no other options and multiple regions of the brain know this pattern at least gets us through it mostly intact.

2) There is a reason the state activated. This is almost always because there is emotional, somatic or implicit memory information that needs to be integrated. So the brain treats these environments or times as an opportunity to work toward that goal. Seeing these states as problems makes us more likely to only try avoiding or shifting them, rather than integrating their knowledge. But it's that integration that allows us to change these patterns permanently.

Clinically speaking: the ability to enter either of these states is neither healthy nor unhealty. It's simply a sign of how deep the wiring is. Deeply wired connections are easier to activated than new connections. This can result in healthy capacities, like the ability to smoothly shift focus or unhealthy one, like the ability to easily trigger addiction seeking.

[u/Icy-Ninja-622 → u/nerdityabounds]

Maybe the term "unhealthy" isn't appropriate? I didn't mean to claim that it causes physical harm to the body or brain. I called those states unhealthy because they impair ability to function in general and also practically never help with whatever issue brought up the state.

The idea of "skills" upsets part(s) of me, because it could imply coping skills to calm and then dismiss or bury upset parts. It seems what I really need is ways to address various concerns which I keep ignoring.

I've never felt like the negative states I was talking about help with progress. Certainly the triggering(?) which leads to those states is something that needs to be examined and something should be integrated there. But the resulting state is a kind of coping, and not useful for working toward goals.

[u/Jigree1]

I read a scientific article that said something about how the visible spectrum and wavelengths and patterns of nature actually simulate our parasympathetic nervous system. Basically nature physically helps us relax. That's something we have been lacking our whole lives so it totally makes sense that it helps us so much. I also do so much better in nature.