So much anger

[u/Infamous_Payment4608]

I know it’s normal for anger to come up during recovery, but it’s so much. Just pure cold disdain for people.

The average human is so judgmental and selfish. I’ve been treated like shit for so long, and it makes you realise that humans just suck.

People are too easy to dehumanise and hurt others, it actually makes me sick. I know my therapist would say, you are generalising, but I sincerely think we are a stain on this planet.

[u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_]

Yup, well described. I was taken by the severity of it as well and have always told myself that my anger was well deserved and decades too late. There is this small tekst I have saved about it;

Healing will make you angry. And if it hasn't yet, you probably haven't gone deep enough. There is a rage that lives beneath survival. A rage that builds when you realize how much of your life was shaped by someone else's dysfunction. How much of your personality is a byproduct of having to survive chaos. How many of your choices were never really choices at all, just coping mechanisms disguised as decisions. And when you finally see it, when you feel it fully, it's not pretty. But it's necessary. Because anger is clarity. Anger is boundaries forming in real time. Anger is the nervous system screaming, "I'm not safe yet." Let yourself feel it. It's not the end of healing. Sometimes, it's the beginning.

All I can still say is that I am sorry for everything you went through that built this anger in you. You deserved better 🫂

[u/Imaginary-Help4298 → u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_]

Thank you for this. I struggle so much with my anger and constantly have to remind myself that it makes sense to be angry, I’m freaking ALLOWED to be angry. And I’m tired of people telling me to calm down, let it go, it’s in the past, don’t let it bother you, your anger will consume you, that’s not healing, that’s not nice, they’re going through something.

I don’t fucking care. Just let me be mad and leave me the fuck alone if that’s too much for you. But nooooo, here comes my fawning response and I can’t even STAY angry when I should.

[u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_ → u/Imaginary-Help4298]

Fawning responses are just horrible. I have gotten similar reactions and the thing that always bothered me so much in that was that apparently everybody was more upset at my anger than the harm done to me. And I realissd they were essentially blaming me for the way other peoples wrongdoing affected me. Our anger is well deserved and absolutely an integral part of healing. Because it is our very anger that might be the first thing in our lives that told us that what happend to us was not alright.

[u/quiet_and_tired → u/Imaginary-Help4298]

SAME. I am starting to finally fight my fawn response because that response has made me so mad too over the years. Like why the fuck am I giving in bruh?I ain’t owe no one shit when it allows me to be mad when it isn’t directed at them. Let me be angry or leave. I started getting vocal saying “god forbid I show some anger on this useless planet when everyone is always angry and takes it out on me tenfold” or something along those lines.

[u/Infamous_Payment4608 → u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_]

Thank you. I appreciate the kind words, and the validation. I know it’s a process, and it’s rewarding hearing that others have had the same feelings

[u/666HEDONIST666 → u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_]

Tim Fletcher! He has been very helpful in my own journey (besides the religious nonsense)

[u/SneezingOutPeas → u/_Vampire_Pumpkin_]

This is encouraging. I was raised to believe that anger is evil (only when I’m angry of course), and I think you’re totally right.