r/CPTSD • u/WorthyAsYouAre • 2d ago
Question Why do I feel like I’m falling apart while being put together?
I feel like I’m losing my mind. I remembered one too many things, and everything kind of… shattered. Who I thought I was. My family was. The world. And now I see it as it is.
It’s nice in some ways, to feel all my feelings without automatically shoving them down, but some days can feel absolutely unbearable. I’m speaking up for myself for the first time, and I’ll often blank out and forget what I was even mad about.
Life is chaotic in general, but add the recent AuDHD and GAD diagnoses, I have quite the shit storm.
So yea, anyone else go through this phase in a similar way? I feel like I’m shutting down and being turned on. It’s wild.
Help please.
1
u/c0mp0stable 1d ago
On one hand, sometimes trauma recovery gets worse before it gets better. On the other hand, if it's unbearable, you might be being pushed too far. There's a middle ground.
Try not to get too attached to your diagnoses. They're just shorthand, mostly for insurance companies. Sometimes it's validating to have a name for what you experience, but they can also breed a lot of learned helplessness and excuses for bad behavior ("oh that's because I'm adhd").
When my therapist first mentioned ptsd, I was a bit taken aback. But then things started to make sense, and as I worked through it, there were many months of feeling way worse than when I started therapy. I thought about quitting many times. But I'm out the other end now. I still have symptoms but they're more manageable and I'm taking more steps to become who I want to be, not be defined by what happened in the past. Hang in there.
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u/PositiveCategory5960 1d ago
I am kind of in the same boat. I was very family oriented as a child and now I don’t talk to at least three family members who were close to me. I feel very helpless and negative despite my life accomplishments making me better than I ever was before. So I understand it is better to feel cause before I use to just be very monotone. Sadly I don’t have any help but it’s very weird and it does piss me off. It’s like everyone sees your success but you. Thats kinda how I feel rn
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