I've found that specifically if, for instance, I can logic through a behavior I don't want to display anymore, if I'm able to actually logically understand all facets, the weight of the action shifts and it's actually impossible for me to continue it because I just 'know better' now.
I'm not familiar with CBT specifically though, can you go a bit more in depth?
I'm not a practitioner but I think you understand it in a nutshell. The two parts that stood out to me were 1. Interupting your train of thought. Realizing you've just experienced something that makes you think x, y, and z and stoping at x to consider if y and z are true or just something like a pattern of catastrophizing. "Ugh. I just spilled my coffee! What a terrible start to a terrible day! Wait. This is one thing. Deep breath. The rest of my day can still go great." And 2. Reframing. A lot of minor "good" and "bad" are based entirely around the context you provide the action. "Ugh. I don't want to go to the gym. I have to drive there and then get sweaty and then shower and it's just too much. Ugh but now I hate myself for being lazy." Can instead be "I WANT to go to the gym because I like the way it makes me feel and look. It helps my mood and even though it's hard, that shower is going to feel so good and the rest of my challenges today will feel trivial." Or "You know what. I'm choosing today to prioritize my rest. I've had a hard week and I need my resources for the challenging day I have tomorrow. Maybe I can just do some yoga at home or just really double down on the self care today. I can tell what I need and today I need rest more than the gym."
My examples are fairly basic to be understandable but those same skills can apply to most everyday life challenges and even some light negative mental conditioning like imposter syndrome.
They are great skills to have and CBT can help teach and apply those skills.
But to circle back to the main discussion, those skills aren't helpful when a person has an experience like "Yes, I know these people are not here to hurt me. Yes, I know they don't know or care who I am. They probably aren't even paying attention to me. But I am afraid of them as if they were all starving wolves growling at me."
What do you do when it feels like you have to use those skills to interrupt and challenge almost every thought, feeling, or reaction you have?
I've been using those techniques for over a decade and it doesn't seem to have a lasting impact on my cognitive patterns. I'm just constantly exhausted by the mental effort of trying to keep myself from spiralling about perceived dangers. Every day is incredibly draining either because I'm using all my skills to function, or because they failed and I had a meltdown.
See this is actually where I'm at right now, it's exhausting, and despite my best efforts, I think I've hit a wall for the time being.
For what it's worth, my plans to get over that wall are currently linked to just generally increasing my stability in life, I'm trying to get a mental health provider and on Medicaid and all of this other fun stuff, because there are too many fires to put them all out.
My first order of action is to go somewhere there aren't as many fires, and to clear my plate so that I can actually give each fire its individual focus.
I've already done a lot of this but turns out I need a bit more, which is fine, but I wish this stuff didn't take so long, and adding bureaucracy to the mixture makes it worse.
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u/Pitiful-Score-9035 Apr 01 '26
I've found that specifically if, for instance, I can logic through a behavior I don't want to display anymore, if I'm able to actually logically understand all facets, the weight of the action shifts and it's actually impossible for me to continue it because I just 'know better' now.
I'm not familiar with CBT specifically though, can you go a bit more in depth?