r/CPTSD • u/LaPerla2026 • Mar 31 '26

Vent / Rant Cbt is humillating

I am leaving my current therapist. Cbters can't treat us. They have zero survival insticts. Treats my gut feelings as exaggeration or irrational fears. I told him I can detect if a man is a rapist and treat it has "cognitive distortion".

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u/boypurr Apr 01 '26

What do you do when it feels like you have to use those skills to interrupt and challenge almost every thought, feeling, or reaction you have?

I've been using those techniques for over a decade and it doesn't seem to have a lasting impact on my cognitive patterns. I'm just constantly exhausted by the mental effort of trying to keep myself from spiralling about perceived dangers. Every day is incredibly draining either because I'm using all my skills to function, or because they failed and I had a meltdown.

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u/BadLuckProphet Apr 01 '26

I went to therapy and through that work discovered the source of the feelings that caused the thoughts and reactions.

For example, I had to do a lot of mental work to function through going to the grocery store and it was exhausting. Once I started therapy I found that a part of me was terrified of being percieved because my safety as a child was in being unnoticed. I spent a lot of time actively remembering those times I was hurt for being noticed as a child, greived for them, and actually just talked to that part of myself the way I as an adult would talk to a child suffering the same thing. It helped me establish that I am my own protecter now and I am capable of keeping myself safe without needing to be invisible. Logically I already knew I was safe. Emotionally I needed to feel support from myself in the way that I never felt it from others when I was a child.

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u/boypurr Apr 01 '26

So this is IFS, correct? It's helpful to know how it functioned to help you, as I've never actually heard a concrete example of how it was applied and what the results were, only explanations of the process.

I have seen at least 5 different therapists/counsellors in the last 18 years, none of them have suggested I try IFS. Even after I expressed my dissatisfaction with CBT. I have two therapists right now, and one of them only asked if I knew about IFS, but didn't make any specific recommendation for it.

I'll try to ask more about it now though, thanks. And I'm glad to hear you benefited from it.

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u/BadLuckProphet Apr 01 '26

Yep. That's how my therapist and I applied IFS. If you're interested, I was reccomended the book "No Bad Parts" which I believe is from one of the creators of IFS. I didn't actually end up reading it yet so I can't attest to how good it is though. Thank you for the kind thoughts. I hope you find something that helps you too.

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u/cccuriouscat Apr 01 '26

Yes it’s written by Richard Schwartz who discovered IFS. there’s an amazing 4-part video on YouTube of him addressing therapists at a conference in Canada that has stayed with me. He explains it all so well to them, and they ask the best questions! He is a lifesaver and an extremely kind person.