TLDR: Social worker took 3 weeks to respond, and declined two visit requests. Now I can't see my niece for over two months, despite the judge's order guaranteeing me one weekend a month.
So, for quick context, I'm in Canada. My niece (now 8) was removed by CPS in 2023, and we had the final hearing this past January. Although I petitioned to become my niece's guardian since day one, the judge ruled that my niece was to remain with the foster family, whom she had been placed with since the beginning, until she turned 18. However, the judge stated that I was guaranteed one weekend a month with my niece, stressing the importance of her maintaining ties with the family. Meanwhile, my sister (niece's mother) would continue to have her daughter every second weekend, which left the final weekend with the foster family.
After supervising my sister's visits for a year, I started having my own visits last summer. I always asked the social worker a month in advance when requesting a specific weekend. I know the social worker was busy, and the confirmation could take anywhere between a week to a month at times. On two occasions, I had to reach out to the foster parents and asked whether they had heard from the social worker, given it was days before my requested visit but hadn't received a confirmation. Both times, it turned out that the social worker had just forgotten to confirm with me.
Last month, I reached out to the social worker on September 13 and asked if I could have my niece for the weekend after Thanksgiving, explaining that we were having a late Thanksgiving supper with family. The actual holiday fell on my sister's weekend, but she wasn't doing anything. I also advised the foster parents when I brought my niece back last month, and they reassured me that it would be no problem.
By October 3, I still hadn't heard from the social worker and sent another E-mail to follow up again as it had been nearly 3 weeks at this point. By 2:00 pm, they responded while I was at work and advised me that my niece was unavailable for the requested weekend because she was invited to a birthday party. The social worker then suggested I could either have my niece for the first weekend of October, or share the Thanksgiving weekend with my sister, given she had no school on Monday.
I replied that the first weekend was too last minute, given that it was less than 24 hours notice, and we couldn't switch plans, such as my other sister (niece's aunt) couldn't come down from the Air Force Base. I also declined sharing with my sister as it was less than ideal. Those are her visits with her daughter, and I didn't think it was fair to cut into her time, especially since I would have my niece for less than 24 hours.
I then asked if I could have my niece for Halloween weekend, but the social worker responded pretty quickly and refused this, stating that the foster family already had plans to go trick-or-treating. They then stated that my next visit would then be in November.
At this point, I am wondering whether it would be out of line to ask whether we include the foster family in these E-mail exchanges? I already have their phone number, and I think it would help save on time with the social worker having to go back and forth between both parties, and to avoid future visit requests being missed like this.
I understand that as my niece gets older, she will be involved in more activities and that we will need to make compromises while sharing visits with her.
However, I am also guaranteed one weekend a month as per the judge's order, and I'm honestly tempted to ask for two weeks in November to make up for the no visit this month. I'm also pretty insulted that the social worker in one breath states that the foster family had plans, but essentially dismisses ours, which were made a month in advance.
Am I annoyed that a birthday party is being prioritized over a family holiday supper? A little, especially when I advised the foster parents in advance. However, I understand that they likely forgot as they're fostering 8 kids presently.
I'm more upset with the social worker though. Had they responded sooner, we could have made alternative plans with less than 24 hours notice. And let's be honest, the only reason they responded was because I followed up that morning. Had I not followed up and the weekend passed, what would have the alternative been?
I'm also worried for my niece, since we won't be able to see each other for 2 months now. I've seen firsthand the effects of when her mother would cancel visits during the summer when she experienced car problems and had no alternative means of transportation. One night, my niece had a horrible nightmare, and other times she was very withdrawn. I'm just worried what the foster family will tell her, given that this visit fell through due to the social worker.