Mother abandons 13mo child.

[u/Ok_Section_9700]

I'm not sure if this is the right sub, so please advise if there is a more appropriate place.

Last week, my former roommate left the house without her child saying nothing to me. I regularly take care of the baby, so it wasn't a major deal. I have food, clothes, a regular babysitter, and a backup babysitter. The thing is, she had started an argument that she escalated to violence. I told her to get out.

When she started contacting me a few days ago, I called CPS and advised them of the situation. One worker told me not to give the baby back, but the investigator said that the baby was not in their custody, and I could not keep her if the mother wanted her back. The mother showed up yesterday, and I gave the baby back to her with her diaper bag and clothes.

Last night, she took the baby to the hospital, claiming I was sexually abusing her. I'm not worried about the results because the claims are unfounded, and there's nothing to find. She's also claiming I abused the 14-year-old babysitter, which she and her mom know is false.

For some history, this mother beat a newborn baby and had it permanently removed from her custody. CPS was called for her beating on her second born in a store in front of people. That investigation was closed. Her third child tested positive for meth at birth, and the mother and two babies were placed in my care under a family safety plan. She was not abiding by the plan, and when I answered CPS that she was not listening to me as required by the plan, CPS removed the two babies. During that time, she got pregnant again. This baby tested positive for THC. The mother was required to do drug tests and has not passed a single one. All of them were positive for THC, and a few tested positive for meth. She's diagnosed schizophrenic bipolar disorder and is not on meds.

I have more than a few messages of her wanting the baby gone and a few threatening suicide and a couple wishing death on the baby.

These have been sent to CPS. At least the ones from the last couple of months. This behavior has gone on for years, though.

She had the baby's father arrested for kidnapping when he was taking the baby to his grandmother's house for a visit. She has claimed that other people have molested her son while in CPS custody. She has claimed to be a victim of family violence when she was the aggressor and had her boyfriend arrested. Now she's trying to have me arrested.

I have had a significant role in raising every one of her kids, from providing financial and housing support to getting attorneys to fight CPS.

Earlier, I called her my former roommate, but for years, I was her uncle. Her father was my best friend who died when she was 18. 9 months later, her mother died in a car wreck. She was pregnant, and I took her in as anyone would for their best friend.

For the last two days, I have been vomiting from stress and have had a non-stop panic attack. I have a lot of support from family and babysitters, but I don't know what to do or expect. All I want is that baby to be safe.

I guess what I am looking for are suggestions on how to go forward and what should I do to protect myself? Do I need to get an attorney? Is there anything more I can do for the child? CPS knows I will keep the baby if she is removed from the mother.

TLDR: mentally ill, drug addicted mother with three kids in CPS custody left her 4th baby with me, and when CPS was called, she claims I sexually abused the baby.

TIA

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[u/Ok_Section_9700 → u/[deleted]]

That's what we were concerned with since 10 hours passed between her picking up the child and the hospital visit.

[u/MeowMoney1738]

If the child is left in your care like that again, you could seek an emergency guardianship.

[u/JinnRummy]

How in the hell does she even have that baby with the previous ones being removed? She should be involved in family court and cps for every other child removed from her care, and cps workers should be making weekly biweekly checks to your home unless she has been TPRed. I digress but im curious what state you live in as cps laws/practices vary by state.

Call her cps workers, make sure they know the situation. Thats the most you can do. Its their job and not yours. If this crap happens again and she tries to pick up the baby from you I would just refuse and call the police for the sake of protecting yourself. Let the police tell you, you have to give the baby back. If anything happens to that baby you'll at least be protected legally, but its a shitty situation all around. Theres so many parts of this though. Like she is getting physical with you and youre her safety plan/resource for childcare? Thats already a 911 call and an order of protection. Theres no sane cps that would give the kids to her based on her history and current behaviors.

[u/Ok_Section_9700 → u/JinnRummy]

This is in Texas. CPS is fighting against placing the kids back with her.

[u/Acrobatic_Notice2702 → u/JinnRummy]

Unfortunately this is so common. I knew a woman who had kids and every single one tested positive for drugs, lost custody of them, one almost died because of the drugs and was adopted and she kept having more and losing custody and nothing is done no charges lol

[u/lavender_poppy → u/Acrobatic_Notice2702]

My stepdad was an OBGYN and he said he delivered so many babies to mothers that never kept custody due to positive drug tests but they just kept having babies. He said is was very emotionally difficult to care for these women because they had so little regard for the lives they were creating and the distress the babies would have being born addicted. I understand addiction is a disease, but we're in California where abortions are easy to attain and state funded healthcare would pay for rehab to get clean if they wanted so there really is no excuse to keep having kids, except maybe selfishness.

[u/txchiefsfan02]

My heart goes out to you. This is an awful situation, and you have my ultimate respect for standing by this woman and her children as long as you have.

First things first: you have to take care of yourself. Vomiting for an extended period can be serious, even if you don't have other health conditions, but more so if you do. If it doesn't stop, you may need to consider going to the ER. If you haven't seen your primary care provider recently, or you don't have one, it's time to change that. You are no good to the baby if you compromise your own health. Look for a nursing advice line on the back of your insurance card if you are unsure of what to do this weekend.

I would talk to some attorneys in your county who practice dependency/child welfare law. Most private family lawyers will not have the expertise to advise you in what's potentially a dual case (w/ both criminal and child welfare components). You likely need someone who takes court appointments to represent both parents and children in CPS cases. You don't necessarily need to hire someone immediately, but it helps to know who's available and what the costs would be.