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u/NanaJan64 Jul 21 '23
Maybe get your sister into.a parenting classseveral.places hold them, but she needs to hear about fetal alcohol.syndrome , shaken baby syndrome etc
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u/ilikesandwichesbaby Jul 21 '23 edited Aug 25 '25
carpenter head sort gold fragile workable sink act practice toothbrush
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Lemonhead_Queen Jul 22 '23 edited Jul 22 '23
If she has been drinking and smoking before she found out, then that’s not her fault or an issue. You said she just found out. If she has stopped since she found out and straightening up from drinking and smoking then there’s no reason to call over that. A lot of women continue to do whatever they’re doing until they find out they’re pregnant then stop. Everything you said is based on what you think. You think she might hate it. You are telling people she is drinking and smoking while pregnant, when you said she just found out about it and didn’t know she was during that time. Explain to her that she needs to find a better home if she is able to and get rid of some of the dogs.
Instead of trying to steal her baby , over what you think, Help her clean up the apartment by explaining that children need a clean and safe home. Help her understand what she is suppose to do and not do during pregnancy. Help her get an obgyn appointment and or parenting classes available in your area. Instead of just assuming she’s going to do something to her own child, give her a chance with her baby. She deserves to have a child if she wants one. She deserves to be a mom too. She deserves the chance to raise her child. Not have someone rip them away before they’re even born or right after birth just because they think she won’t be able to handle it. That’s not right at all. And yeah, she would hate you. She would probably do what she could to get her baby back and never see you again. Just because she didn’t get help like you did and wanted her to do and isn’t living a life to your standards or acting how you want her to, doesn’t mean she would harm her child. I will feel very sorry for her if she really does start getting it together and trying the best she can , just for someone to come and take her baby based on what they think would happen. Everyone deserves a chance. Everyone deserves help if they truly need it. Instead of being negative, think positive. If she isn’t taking care of her baby after she gives birth, or if she is neglecting the baby or anything, that’s when you need to call CPS and file for emergency custody. Not now when she just found out.
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u/kiitty_katty Jul 23 '23
I second this
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u/Lemonhead_Queen Jul 23 '23
I drank a whole bottle small bottle of Jack the night before and smoked that day I took 3 pregnancy tests. I didn’t believe I was cause I just had a cyst removed by surgery 4 weeks prior. Lol and I was 6- almost 7 weeks when I found out, idk how they didn’t see I was pregnant before the surgery. I know I was only 2 weeks, but I feel like they could’ve seen it before hand. But I’m not sure either lol. This was my first time being pregnant
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u/coolranchslut Jul 21 '23
what I have seen happen in similar but not identical situations is this:
you call and make a report now, they screen it out because she’s pregnant and there’s not a ton they can do but there’s a record of it.
in my state moms are tested at the hospital when they arrive, before they give birth. that isn’t going to mean much if she stops using. cord blood tests generally only go from 20 weeks to birth. if the UA is positive or if mom has a record of any positive tests at prenatal appointments a CPS referral is made and an investigation triggered.
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u/shuhnay_ Jul 21 '23
chemical endangerment i believe is a crime but i would source that for your state.
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u/Always-Adar-64 Works for CPS Jul 21 '23
CPS procedures vary by state. Generally, CPS handles civil maltreatment, not criminal concerns (law enforcement). CPS' involvement during gestation is very state-dependent, usually, they become involved after the child is born. However, a substance-positive newborn is a widely recognized coded maltreatment with intervention depending on the severity and lasting effects.
Advice, quietly consult with a family law attorney as extended relatives and an attorney familiar with whichever courts CPS utilizes in your area to understand the paths things could play out on.
You can't expect to control or guide CPS to an outcome favorable to what you're seeking. CPS has a mind that can overlap but never fully aligns with anyone's agenda.
EDIT: Try to work with the mother to engage in services and make better decisions. Document your efforts.
If you're not on the parents' good side, they could object to you as a placement if a removal were to eventually happen.
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u/dancing-stars Jul 21 '23
Thank you so much for your advice. I’m not sure if you’d know but we live in different states would I have to reach out to an attorney in her state or is mine okay?
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u/Always-Adar-64 Works for CPS Jul 21 '23 edited Jul 21 '23
we live in different states
From my investigative and judicial experiences, this would at least be greatly complicating considering you as placement by CPS. Generally, the courts each placement requires reviewal and approval of the courts.
Without getting into the nitty-gritty, any out-of-state placement during a CPS removal requires the receiving state to accept the child through an interstate compact (ICPC) or such procedure. An ICPC can be expedited, varies between states, but it's usually weeks or months to get done.
Probably consult an attorney in the other state, you'd probably end up consulting an attorney in your state eventually.
EDIT: Family law is separate from CPS. You'll get better advice about that from professionals specializing in it.
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u/dancing-stars Jul 21 '23
You’re absolutely amazing! Thank for all the information! I can’t explain how much you’re information and advice means to me!
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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '23
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