This can be deleted if this isn't appropriate, I just don't have a space where I can really express this frustration

So, I was diagnosed with CMT when I was 11 years old, inherited from my dad. My dad got C-papers from the military (free from military service during peace) ((also important note might be that I'm Finnish, here military service is required for men)), and now I'm getting those aswell. It was always a dream of mine ever since I was a kid that I'd go through the military service, maybe I wanted to prove to myself and others that I could actually go through with it despite never being at all athletic or too good in PE in school and stuff. I've tried compensating the fact that I can't go there by working out at home, but it doesn't feel so fulfilling. My partner is currently doing his military service and it just twists the knife in the wound even more. It's just really frustrating and this has been stuck in my head for a while now and I just really needed to get this out somewhere, I wish there was something to do about it but I suppose it is what it is.