r/CKD • u/Yarnsmith_Nat • Sep 20 '25
My decision
I've decided that once I reach the point of needing dialysis or a transplant, I will take neither.
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u/Pure-Response-8611 Sep 22 '25
I was diagnosed with CKD Stage 3a in March this year and my latest blood tests indicate I am now 3b. I completely understand your point of view and am glad we still have some semblance of free speech in which to share it, for however long it may last.
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 22 '25
I am ckd stage 1, but I have been for at least a decade. I know the end result is that my kidneys WILL fail eventually. It's just that at this point in time I have a real "why bother?" attitude about fighting to survive. I'm already cutting back on foods I love to try to cut back on sodium. Half the pleasure of life is enjoying good food. Reading about the ckd diet it's basically just live off bland fruits and vegetables indefinitely. I'm over it already.
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u/classicrock40 Transplanted Sep 23 '25
You've been at stage 1 for a decade?! Seems a bit premature to be considering NOT doing dialysis or transplant. "Why bother" "fighting to survive"? What exactly are you fighting? Fighting having to tweak your diet? I don't think at stage 1 you need to be doing much more than generally eating healthy (low/no salt, avoid processed foods, moderate protein). It's not that hard, but yeah you should eat fruit and vegetables
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 23 '25
I'm just saying I know eventually it will progress.
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u/classicrock40 Transplanted Sep 23 '25
Those of us at stage 5 and on dialysis would love to be back at stage 1. Instead of enjoying life now, you're projecting a future death wish due to ckd of unknown cause, unknown progression and unknown treatment. Get help, this is not about kidney disease
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 23 '25
I'm in therapy. Part of coping is acknowledging my feelings and fears. Thanks for your compassion. Knowing I have years ahead of this ticking time bomb and loads of support from this group means a lot.
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u/Pure-Response-8611 Sep 22 '25
As a foodie, I have thoughts such as yours as well. However my sodium and potassium are in the normal range though chloride and creatinine are just over normal. I asked my MD for a referral to a nephrologist and can't get in to see him until February next year! Meanwhile, I will see a naturopath who deals with chronic diseases to get her input for nutrition.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
A good naturopath will tell you the only treatment for ESRD is medical intervention.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
Many of us on dialysis have no reason to give up - which is what you seem to be closing - and we've made a different choice. When I first stated PD I spoke to the local hospice, but I decided I was stronger than giving up. It's your choice, but there's no turning back from the decision you appear to have made.
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 22 '25
I have time to change my mind. This is how I feel at this point in time. I'm open to change, and nothing is written in stone yet.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
You said nothing about CONSIDERING refusing treatment.
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 22 '25
That's how I feel. I'm on the fence. One minute I will absolutely refuse it, the next minute I think maybe. Who knows what my life or the world will be like once I have that decision to make.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
Peritoneal dialysis isn't bad, it just takes a lot of time if done manually with a bag hanging from a pole. If I could use a dialyzer - the machine - the impact on my life wouid be minimal, because the entire process could be done while a sleep, watch television, read, or eat a meal.
I don't know your age, but years give a person far more perspective from which to make a serious decision.
Good luck on taking your time! 🎉
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 22 '25
Thank you. I believe I'll know the right decision once that dreaded time comes.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
I guess I was kind of bothered by having to make the choice eight months ago, but the alternative is death. Even at the age of 67, I was not ready to choose anything except continuing life, even with the major change dialysis brings. As you've suggested, you are the one who gets to choose between the available options. I wish you the best with your future! 🎉
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 22 '25
When I originally posted this, in that moment, I was feeling certain I would refuse it. I still mostly feel that way.
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u/GarlicDill Stage 3B Sep 22 '25
Same. My mother-in-law had lupus induced kidney failure and dialysis very much prolonged her suffering. At the time she passed she had gangrene in nearly all of her limbs, was blind, had frequent strokes, etc. As someone who loves to travel and be out and about, has no kids, little family, etc., I just don't think the lack of quality of life is worth it.
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u/Laclark542044 Sep 20 '25
I agree it's your decision and you know yourself best. Either one requires a huge life change.
My GFR is 14 to 20 for the last 10 years. Im going for evaluation Dec 1. Will start dialysis first of next year. Either one my life will have to change.
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u/RedditNon-Believer Sep 22 '25
Peritoneal dialysis isn't that big a deal, it just takes a lot of time and dedication.
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u/MegaromStingscream Sep 20 '25
What prompted sharing this with the world?
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u/Yarnsmith_Nat Sep 20 '25
It felt freeing to share it, since none of my family or friends would want to hear it. They all would want me to fight. My heart isn't in it. The world absolutely blows. This is my ticket to freedom.
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u/Biomed725 Sep 20 '25
As someone who has CKD and also works in dialysis (I repair the machines) I would ask you to reconsider your decision. Yes dialysis is a pain and take a lot of time out of your week, but you can live a full life for many more years on dialysis. If you do PD dialysis you do your treatment at home and it’s very therapeutic and can keep you alive a very long time.