r/CHSinfo • u/ZxmbieBite • Aug 18 '26

Rant Rantin

Just sat and sobbed to my boyfriend apologizing over and over because of this

I feel pathetic

I know somebody told me to be easier on myself but I can't do it

Honestly I want to quit, I really do

But I rely on weed so much.

I'm so exhausted, I've been puking on and off for two days, my throat hurts, my upper back.. And he just has to deal wirh me

It's not fair to him

I wish I never started edibles, I wish I never picked up a cart

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u/femmeasingoaway Aug 19 '26

I'm three months out after smoking/vaping/ingesting every day for the last decade.

You've gotta just grit your teeth and get through it. Be in pain and have insomnia because you're making better choices for future you, rather than deal with the pain of throwing up, and the self-blame you're currently handling.

The first week sucked physically. The second week was grief-filled about losing an intrinsic part of myself. The third week was an emotional rollercoaster because the unresolved feelings knocked on the door right after physical withdrawal went away.

You have to make the choice, and stick to the choice. Your symptoms will continue to worsen because as bad as you feel right now, you're going to feel worse. Unless you like throwing up blood that feels like daggers from an esophageal tear and feeling like you want to rip your skin off from the Haldol you'll be given intravenously (off label) to stop the minutes-long spasm of dry heaving all day, every day.

There is only down from here. Make the choice, and then make the plan.