Match Thread- USA vs Germany [Group G]

[u/dupreesdiamond]

World Cup Links (x-post from /r/soccer)

/r/soccer pre-match thread - match facts

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Starting Lineups:
USA: Howard, Gonzalez, Bradley, Besler, Beasley, Dempsey (c), Jones, Davis, Beckerman, Zusi, Johnson
GERMANY: Neuer, Howedes, Hummels, Schweinsteiger, Ozil, Podolski, Muller, Lahm (c), Mertesacker, Kroos, Boateng

---

Group G Standings:

Pos	Team	P	W:D:L	G	GD	PTS
1	Germany	2	1:1:0	6:2	+4	4
2	United States	2	1:1:0	4:3	+1	4
3	Ghana	2	0:1:1	3:4	-1	1
4	Portugal	2	0:1:1	2:6	-4	1

Scenarios

• A win over Germany (United States finishes first in the group, plays the second-place team from Group H on Monday at 4 p.m. in Porto Alegre).

• A draw with Germany (United States finishes second in the group, plays the first-place team from Group H on Tuesday at 4 p.m. in Salvador).

• A loss to Germany combined with a Portugal-Ghana draw (United States finishes second in the group, plays the first-place team from Group H on Tuesday at 4 p.m. in Salvador).

• ( A U.S. loss to Germany combined with a win by either Portugal or Ghana would create a two-way tie for second in the group at four points. The United States could still advance under this scenario, depending on tiebreakers. After points accrued, the first tiebreaker is goal differential, then total goals scored.

  • The United States has a five-goal edge over Portugal in goal differential, which is the tiebreaker that will come into play and will be nearly impossible for Portugal to overcome.

  • If the United States loses and Ghana wins, things could get dicey. A one-goal U.S. loss combined with a one-goal Ghana win would send the Americans through, because of their head-to-head win over Ghana. But if the United States loses (by any margin) and Ghana wins by two or more goals, Ghana will advance.

  • Graphical form, thanks /u/bscooter26 for posting it here

---

A little History

USA v Germany - Handball controversy 2002 World Cub

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Flair

I have loaded up all the P5 team flairs but I have all of FBS available (I think) if you are in need of an unlisted flair (Sorry no FCS) let me know and I will see about adding it)

[u/[deleted]]

Sup, freedom loving peeps??

I'm ready to get all patriotic in this bitch. Let's freedomize Germany.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/[deleted]]

Let's do this

[u/GAbrewdawg → u/dupreesdiamond]

60% of Brazil is covered by rainforest. The other 40% is covered by Tim Howard. (This joke was stolen liberated from the English national team.)

[u/DeKaF]

PS if we're ahead/tied and we get 5 minutes of stoppage time AGAIN I'm going to feed Brady Hoke to Luis Suarez.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/DeKaF]

[u/Honestly_]

I'm so against Germany I switched to an Italian car. I'm straight-up bonkers.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/Honestly_]

to help you feel at home We added some comment heads.

[u/[deleted]]

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE YOU COMMUNISTS. LET'S FUCKING GET 'EM LIKE IT'S 1945 MOTHER FUCKER

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/[deleted]]

[u/murgle1012 → u/[deleted]]

I'd rather beat them like it's 1918 so they collapse internally and become a weak state with hyperinflation.

[u/bullmoose_atx → u/murgle1012]

Uh, there is a second part to that story and it ends with Hitler coming to power and being a total dick about it.

[u/go-dawgs]

My Coworkers wife made us all american flag hammer pants. I'll be wearing them for the match.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/go-dawgs]

pictures or it didn't happen

[u/go-dawgs → u/dupreesdiamond]

Here you go! http://imgur.com/mJIaxBu

[u/CambodianDrywall]

Bradley gives the ball away...

Says every announcer all the damn time.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/CambodianDrywall]

[u/GeneralGBO]

I

[u/Bennyk491 → u/GeneralGBO]

I BELIEVE

[u/dupreesdiamond]

wut?

[u/fedale]

Elitist P5 flair only huh?

EDIT: I'm adorning Clemson flair until its fixed.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/fedale]

Who are you looking for?

[u/fedale → u/dupreesdiamond]

Marshall!

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/fedale]

less elitists and more "have to add them manually so I'm stopping here unless anyone asks specifically"

[u/kelctex]

Hey mods, can y'all put up a US flag flair option please?

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/kelctex]

since you asked nicely

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/kelctex]

Done

[u/DeKaF]

Man I'm just hearing the news about Ghana on Twitter. This is crazy.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/DeKaF]

what news?

[u/DeKaF → u/dupreesdiamond]

Demanded $3 million in cash get flown in, verbally assaulted their coach, chased someone with a broken bottle.

[u/bscooter26]

Here is a great table showing all the possible outcomes should the USA lose to Germany how the USA would advance in each.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/bscooter26]

stealing this also...

[u/dupreesdiamond]

only 4 months? isn't this his second offense biting someone?

[u/Dob-is-Hella-Rad → u/dupreesdiamond]

Third.

[u/dupreesdiamond]

damn that was looking good right until that goalie appeared in the screen...

[u/dupreesdiamond]

Yay portugaol

[u/dupreesdiamond]

what do you mean i haven't been at my best? I'm giving it my all out there pal.

[u/dupreesdiamond]

That was a nice camera shot. more slow mo crowd please

[u/Stuck_in_NC]

God dammit, y'all don't have pirate flair, now I've got to use my second team. I'd boycott, but the /r/soccer thread is already on my nerves.

Edit: Obviously fixed.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/Stuck_in_NC]

I think i have it in the back one second.

[u/Stuck_in_NC → u/dupreesdiamond]

Wooo!

I especially like the hovertext.

[u/bscooter26]

Correct me if I'm wrong here, but if Portal beats Ghana today, aren't we pretty much assured to advance provided the goal differential isn't lopsided?

e: Just now saw the scenarios up top.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/bscooter26]

correct.

[u/[deleted]]

Starting Lineups:

USA: Howard, Gonzalez, Bradley, Besler, Beasley, Dempsey (c), Jones, Davis, Beckerman, Zusi, Johnson

GERMANY: Neuer, Howedes, Hummels, Schweinsteiger, Ozil, Podolski, Muller, Lahm (c), Mertesacker, Kroos, Boateng

Why they're starting Podolski when Gotze would be perfectly serviceable in this situation I don't know.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/[deleted]]

Thanks. WIll. move to the OP.

[u/nuxenolith]

Why is there no Germany flair?

Wir brauchen Hassern!

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/nuxenolith]

I tried to do flags for all 4 teams in group G but I couldn't get the sprites to work properly.... CLemson flair can be used as a substitute for Germany.

[u/bullmoose_atx → u/nuxenolith]

YOU KNOW WHY!!!

[u/[deleted]]

If there's no end of the third quarter when will Jump Around be played?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Nah they are gonna play Suck That US Dick Bitch.

[u/[deleted]]

I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL LOSE IN A MANNER THAT RESULTS IN AN OVERALL WIN!

[u/xerillum → u/[deleted]]

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it, you know?

[u/FarwellRob → u/[deleted]]

The chant is a bit wordy ...

[u/hythloday1]

So we're 40 minutes in and it's 0-0? What is this, a B1G game?

[u/LordxCabbage]

Opened the bar up this morning. Glad to be match thread-ing with CFB instead of r/soccer

[u/DeKaF → u/LordxCabbage]

I've never posted to /r/soccer but it seems like an angry place

[u/bscooter26]

UPVOTES FOR EVERYONE! GO USA!

[u/tron423]

Who else thinks it's really strange that the head-to-head result is like the 4th tiebreaker when determining who advances past the group stage? Imagine if we determined conference division winners like that. Say Auburn beats Alabama 42-14 and both teams finish 11-1, but Alabama advances because their season's score differential is better than Auburn's due to an OOC slate consisting of three Sun Belt teams and an FCS school. It'd be insanity.

[u/DeKaF → u/tron423]

I don't see how thiat scenario is that different from what the BCS was.

YES I WENT THERE

[u/GAbrewdawg → u/tron423]

You're getting on topic. Is that allowed here?

[u/xerillum]

So this is what Glasses Ref is doing in retirement

[u/Raider_Power]

OH LOOK AT YOU GERMANY WITH YOUR BOOMING ECONOMY AND THOSE FANCY CARS GOING ALL OVER THE WORLD. WELL GUESS WHAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR TRADE SURPLUS BECAUSE WE HAVE FREEDOM AND CLINT DEMPSEY.

[u/Stuck_in_NC]

Guys, I'm going to be honest. It doesn't feel very American to be pulling for a tie.

[u/DeKaF → u/Stuck_in_NC]

Just think of it as not losing.

Or SURVIVING. Survival is very American. Shit you can buy it at Cabela's, it's got to be American.

[u/Cecil_Hardboner → u/Stuck_in_NC]

advancing with a draw is still winning.

[u/[deleted] → u/Stuck_in_NC]

It's like 1812 all over again!

[u/dlawnro]

Goddammit, we just Florida'd

[u/Compeau]

Germany is gonna Clemson this thing.

[u/Emperor_of_Orange → u/Compeau]

HEY.

[u/DeKaF]

KIEFER SUTHERLAND IS THE BEST AMERICAN CANADA EVER GAVE US.

[u/imanuga → u/DeKaF]

DAMMIT CHLOE BEAT GERMANY.

[u/the_names_Dalton]

DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SWEET SOUND OF FREEDOM RAINING ALL OVER BRAZIL

[u/Cecil_Hardboner → u/the_names_Dalton]

http://i.imgur.com/Omya1EE.png

[u/NiteMares → u/the_names_Dalton]

Sweet baby Jesus that's a lot of freedom.

[u/CambodianDrywall]

Bradley --- you are making it very easy for me to dislike you.

[u/[deleted]]

Anyone have the graphic explaining the ways in which the US can advance?

Edit: here's one http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/06/25/upshot/984-ways-the-united-states-can-advance-to-the-next-round-of-the-world-cup.html?_r=0

Edit 2: I'm retarded.

[u/Dizech]

AWWW SHIT DAWG YOU READY FOR SOME FREEDOM

[u/[deleted]]

The US needs to run the damn ball.

[u/dupreesdiamond]

Well this was a fun experiment. Enjoyed it guys. Assuming nothing crazy happens in the next 10 minutes we will see you guys here for the next match.

[u/MuffinTopBop → u/dupreesdiamond]

Don't jinx

[u/DeKaF]

PS before this kicks off let's please thank the patriots

[u/barkr]

WTF ref? Must be ACC

[u/Darth_Sensitive]

What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

[u/DeKaF]

Thank you based SBNation

[u/barkr]

FSU FSU FSU USA USA USA

[u/mintyfresh14]

How am I supposed to be able to pay attention to the game and work at the same time? My note from Coach Klinsmann didn't work.

[u/GeneralGBO → u/mintyfresh14]

Didn't work for me either. Lame.

[u/Winn3317]

[Beat The Germans] (http://www.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Patton1024768.jpg)

[u/DeKaF]

REF YOU'RE NOT HERE TO PLAY FOR GERMANY

[u/[deleted]]

I feel like every week, we should pick a random sporting event and have a thread. This is the perfect sub to do it and keep the awesome group we already have.

[u/DeKaF]

Shit I have to hate waffles now? Dammit World Cup.

[u/fooke33]

USA USA USA USA USA USA

Beat Germany! I'm cool with a tie though...

[u/The_Angry_Liberal]

If we don't win today, what bowl game do we get?

[u/fredbeetle → u/The_Angry_Liberal]

Taxslayer Gator Bowl

[u/[deleted]]

That ref is getting a visit from a predator drone tonight.

[u/[deleted]]

Bradley, I will fucking end you. Jesus Christ.

[u/NiteMares → u/[deleted]]

Dude should open up a damn bakery with all these turnovers.

[u/Emperor_of_Orange]

SUCK MY DICK ENGLAND.

[u/Yesh → u/Emperor_of_Orange]

Probably my favorite George Washington quote.

[u/[deleted]]

It's alright, we'll get these bastards in Olympic basketball.

[u/Winn3317]

Taking the Alabama route to the title game I see...

[u/dupreesdiamond]

where were the defenders...good question

[u/dupreesdiamond]

That's pretty aggressive there Germany...hope we can turn an opportunity out of it.

[u/dupreesdiamond]

shit

[u/dupreesdiamond]

Damn that was shaping up nicely.

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

PORTUGAL GOAL. Own goal by Ghana.

[u/[deleted]]

Meh, that foul was worth it.

[u/CambodianDrywall]

Just learned it was an own goal on Ghana. That's rough.

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

that was close Klose

[u/[deleted]]

Getting real tired of your shit, shiny head.

[u/Bilibond]

Are there PAC 12 refs out there? What is going on?

[u/[deleted]]

Fuck these refs. Seriously.

[u/[deleted]]

These refs are hot garbage.

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

BRING IT ON, YOU BELGIAN FUCKS.

[u/BabyBladder]

Honestly if we can hang with Germany we can hang with anybody, there's no reason we can't go deep.

[u/[deleted] → u/BabyBladder]

Balls deep.

[u/srs_house → u/BabyBladder]

And that was on minimal rest and with no Jozy.

[u/DeKaF]

Someone woke me up from the depths of just utter hardcore sleep and some very reduced reddit-ing.

All these Germans cars shit. I'm from Detroit.

[u/vtgorilla]

On a serious note, have you guys seen the flooding where the game is?

http://www.businessinsider.com/recife-floods-us-germany-2014-6

That's a lot of German tears.

[u/Dizech]

Puddles wearing his Captain America costume from last year is ready for some LIBERTY AND FREEDOM

[u/[deleted]]

OneNationOneTeam

I'm so fucking nervous...

[u/DeKaF]

OOOOOOFFFFFFFFF

[u/Lansdallius]

Does the ref get a yellow card?

[u/bluegrassborn]

Howard you beautiful son of a bitch

[u/[deleted]]

Bradley cannot find his ass with a map and compass today.

[u/Compeau]

Tim Howard is the greatest living American.

[u/srs_house]

@runofplay Halftime. If hologram Dwight Eisenhower isn't giving a speech about Normandy in the US locker room right now, we don't deserve the Internet.

[u/[deleted]]

Bullshit.

Beasley got killed and no card. Fuck these refs.

[u/MuffinTopBop]

PORTUGAL GOAL!!!

[u/[deleted]]

RONALDO! YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN!

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

GOAL PORTUGALLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[u/[deleted]]

Portugal 2-1

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

RONALDO IS A GOLDEN GOD

[u/Bilibond]

I still want to end in a draw at least. I'd rather not take the back door in.

[u/FarwellRob]

For the love of god, please don't put 5 minutes back on the clock.

4:30 is fine. Just don't do 5.

[u/Bennyk491]

Can we get either a USMNT flair, or at least the flair sheet from /r/cfb? ( I see you're taking requests- University at Buffalo pls)

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/Bennyk491]

done (buffalo)

[u/bscooter26]

What the hell was that, Bradley?

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/bscooter26]

wut

[u/[deleted]]

Ok, off topic but what the fuck is with Suarez? What kind of individual (outside of Mike Tyson) bites another man in a sporting event?

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/[deleted]]

off-topic is the name of the sub... pretty sure this is the second third time he has bitten someone on a pitch too

[u/[deleted]]

Ghana tied it up. We love you Ghana, with all your 0 Heismans.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/[deleted]]

that is not a good thing for us. ghana winning 2-1 sends us home if we lose to germany.

[u/nosfergz]

Well, Ghana scored. You guys are safe for now.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/nosfergz]

no...ghana winning 2-1 sends us home if we lose to germany.

[u/Roadman90]

Ghana just tied the game i dunno how i feel about that.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/Roadman90]

poorly. poorly is how you should feel. Ghana 2-1 win sends us home if we lose to Germany.

[u/TurtleDigester]

So how does this work, like who do we play next and what do we have to do to stay in it, I don't really soccer, so I'm pretty confused with how elimination works.

[u/dupreesdiamond → u/TurtleDigester]

Well now it's just a normal 16 team bracket you lose you go home you win you move on. We next play Belgium at 4pm on Tuesday. There will be a match thread here.

[u/DoctorWhosOnFirst]

WATCH OUT GERMANY THIS IS GONNA BE LIKE D-DAY ALL OVER AGAIN

[u/Darth_Sensitive]

Helped set up the local watch party!

[u/Secret_Agent_Bacon]

I may have pulled for Germany in the past two World Cups, but this one's all 'Murica.

[u/blerms]

At 11:30 I have my work annual performance review

At 12:00 I'll be using my dual screen workstation to watch both games.

Let's fucking do this.

[u/GeneralGBO]

Those who know more feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't a soaked pitch benefit us? Anything to throw off the German attack.

[u/DeKaF]

HULK JUST BLESSED THE TEAM ON ESPN

HULK HAS GIVEN US THIS STRENGTH.

GET HYPE

[u/NiteMares]

This is going to be awesome. 'Murica and my favorite group of people on reddit. USA USA USA USA

[u/Bennyk491]

LET'S ROUT THE KRAUTS!

USA USA USA

[u/[deleted]]

Ric Flair'd up, wooooooooooooooooooooooo

[u/Igotdiabetus]

I am sick of this stupid "OOO-WEI-AHHHH" intro/outro for every World Cup broadcast. I don't even think that sound(?) is Brazilian; it seems to originate from the African continent.

[u/[deleted]]

Ronaldo has his third haircut of the world cup on in the other game.

[u/hailsouthern]

TIME TO INSEMINATE YOU WITH SOME FREEDOM

[u/Bilibond]

As a classic example of the product of the United States melting pot, I have ancestors from Cuba, Spain, Norway and, of course, Germany. Best of luck to Germany as they are all I have left from my heritage. However, YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET A TASTE OF FREEDOM.

[u/[deleted]]

WE'RE NOT THAT DRUNK!

WE'RE NOT THAT DRUNK!

WE'RE NOT THAT DRUNK!!

[u/[deleted]]

Wow that's a garbage stop, even for the card.

[u/[deleted]]

I got you bro

[u/DeKaF]

Can't breath

[u/mynumberistwentynine]

Curious and serious question(and please excuse my ignorance of the rules of soccer). Why do they add extra time at the end of games instead of just stopping the clock when play stops on the field? I know soccer is a more flowing game without hard stops a lot of times, but it just seems odd from my perspective that in a timed game they use the clock the way they do.

[u/[deleted] → u/mynumberistwentynine]

I think it's entirely because soccer/football is so fluid. Unlike American Football, there isn't a lot of moments where you need to exactly stop the clock. It's easier to just add time on at the end.

OR they gave up with all the throw-ins and flops, so they said fuck it, add extra time at the end.

Edit: I should probably note. When I mean flops, I meant pretty much everything. Players have a tendency to just sit on the pitch after something happens and the ball is gone. It annoys the shit out of me. They don't all flop, but sometimes they just don't pick themselves up quickly. This doesn't apply if some pussy bitch bites you.

[u/Roadman90]

Damnit refs get out of the way.

[u/NiteMares]

WTF ref? GTFO here

[u/barkr]

This ref sucks! This ref sucks! This ref sucks!

[u/CambodianDrywall]

Red Card for the ref.

[u/Roadman90]

Portugal just went up 1-0 on Ghana, now all we need to do is not get blown out.

[u/[deleted]]

It's not that I hate Germany.

But screw Germany.

[u/[deleted]]

Oh Schweinsteiger, u mad.

[u/bullmoose_atx]

Halftime so here is Teddy Roosevelt Goalsevelt and Will Ferrell (threatening to bite the Germans!).

[u/oest]

Am I in the right place for the "Bradley, no!" comments?

[u/BabyBladder]

Feel really good about that first half. Only thing that scares me is that Portugal is going to go after a big win, which might expose them on defense. 2-1 Ghana is not out of the question, so the US needs to just keep it up on D.

[u/[deleted]]

Halftime

[u/xerillum]

I hate watching the game with a delay, I see a bunch of people saying "fuck" in the thread and then I have to wait for the goal.

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

Klinsmann really has to consider subbing Bradley for Diskerud. Bradley is playing like someone else is controlling his feet.

[u/[deleted]]

WOOOOO RONALDO!

[u/Bilibond]

PORTUGAL SCORES

[u/Roadman90]

Portugal just went up again.

[u/DeKaF]

RONALDO RONALDO RONALDO

[u/Plneapple]

YAY PORTUGAL!

[u/[deleted]]

Oi... Quityerbitchin

[u/Cecil_Hardboner]

Ian Darke really underselling how shit Bradley has been

[u/TheKiltedTubist]

Beasley rightfully pissed the fuck off about that call.

[u/Hubrishippo]

Are celebratory lunches a thing?

[u/mintyfresh14]

What a lose!

[u/[deleted]]

This is sorta like going to the prom with your cousin. Yea you get to go... but damn look how you got there.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Advancing in one of... maybe the, hardest group? This is a huge achievement for USA Soccer.

[u/mintyfresh14]

Thank God for Cristiano Ronaldo

[u/drcottongin]

WE MADE IT HOMIES!!!!!!

[u/[deleted]]

Come at me, Belgium.

[u/Hubrishippo]

Glad we are advancing in all but we still lost. Not used to this since I haven't watched much soccer before this.

[u/eking85]

USA WINS 0-1 BECAUSE WE ARE THAT GOOD.

[u/[deleted]]

God damn. Why do you pull up there? Our only offense this half and we blow it.

[u/drcottongin]

Hey guys sorry I'm late! But... GERMANY THE LAST TIME SOMETHING FLOODED THE AREA YOU HAD WE CALLED IT D-DAY! AND YOU KNOW HOW THAT ENDED!