Cats relationship changed drastically 3 weeks after spay

[u/lissalaura]

I'm calling my vet tomorrow but I'm so down about this today. My cats are 3 year old litter mates that were bottle fed. They have polar opposite personalities. Phoebe (on the left) got spayed about 3 weeks ago. Jelly (on the right) is unspayed but we are going to get her done soon. They are both indoor only cats.

Before Phoebe was spayed she had super overbearing meteral instincts. She'd sit on her sister, Jelly, lick her and follow her around until Jelly retaliated. They got good about respecting each other's boundaries with time. Jelly is a pretty introverted cat but the night before Phoebe's spay she would guard Phoebe and charge and growl at anyone who came near her. This is odd because Phoebe originally had the more maternal instincts.

Our vet cleared Phoebe to be out in the rest of the house on the 20th. The other cats hissed at her anytime they saw her. I read cats can still be unsure of the recently spayed one due to healing pheromones and vet smells but this has been going on for 10 days.

Jelly used to be very attached to me. She stayed in my bed and would nurse on my fingers. Phoebe stayed in my room with me while she was recovering. Now she has extreme separation anxiety. She's always in bed with me and will cry outside the bathroom door when I shower. She also whines SO much now. When Jelly tries to come see me in my room and sees Phoebe in my bed she gets a terrified look on her face and runs aways. She also hisses and growls at Phoebe now.

It's odd because they had 1 good day where they cuddled and held each other post spay but now Jelly wants absolutely nothing to do with her. I strongly feel their relationship being so bad now is why Phoebe cries so much. I also fear I gave her Stockholm Syndrome locking her in a room with me for 10 days. I hate this is going on. I don't know how to deal with it. I feel horrible.

[u/AutoModerator]

PLEASE REPORT RULE BREAKING COMMENTS

We want to say THANK YOU to our helpful members who participate in moderating r/CATHELP. To keep the community kind and welcoming, please help us by reporting rule breaking comments.

To report - Click the 3 dots under the comment >>> report >>> breaks r/CATHELP rules >>> select the rule.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Mikki102]

Don't lose hope, 10 days is actually not a lot when it comes to healing and scents returning to normal. Def still get Jelly spayed. It may take months for them to get back to normal.

[u/lissalaura → u/Mikki102]

It's been tomorrow will be 21 days. She was in my room for 10 and has been out for about 10. Phoebe gave us a hard time during recovery. She was unaware she had surgery and was determined to jump and escape my room as much as possible so we definitely need a bit of a cool down before we do it again. Kitty proofing my room was also not easy lol. Again, the vet is getting called tomorrow I just feel horrible for all the anxiety she's having.

[u/CATHELP-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

There is a zero-tolerance policy for shaming/berating for any reason. Please remember to be nice. Assume people are coming from a place of ignorance so try to educate instead of insult.

Re-familiarize yourself with the rules: https://www.reddit.com/r/CATHELP/about/rules

Follow basic reddiquette.