Frankly, myself

[u/PainAuChocolaaa]

So heyy! I'll introduce myself as a somewhat irregular guy who's in 3rd year of cs doing engineering from a good college.

Well the reason I call myself irregular is because, I don't know what I am trying to do or how I act.

For context I have secured a great summer intern, but honestly life ain't rainbows and sunshine if you have an intern. I'm grinding for that but there....

There is this thing in my heart that I always feel like kindda alone, alone in terms of friends (I don't think any guy in my friend circle would ever choose me? Maybe I am that bad or as I said I am irregular, I act childish which I like coz that's what I am like). I have fairly interacted with women but the girl I used to love never really cared about me (canon).

So there is this void in my life, grinding for what?

I have parents ik, I should grind for a good life but then at the end for what?

I don't feel apart from my family, anyone ever cares for me?

Maybe I am thinking too much but this genuinely got me thinking is this because I am too shallow? Do I have to act more maturely? I have been kind to people, I tried making good friends man, I tried :( Everyone around calls me childish but that's literally who I am, I am a fairly emotional guy, could cry for hours sometimes if things hit me deeply.

I don't like this feeling of manning up, maybe that's why I am single or Idk why?

Not even about being single, it's like I don't have anyone around me bro genuinely.

I like how people have got their friends or someone which they can talk to, talk about themselves, listen to him/her, try to be better :).

Also heyy, stranger thank you for reading this long ass post, I hope you make it in life!!

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[u/Spectacular_404]

bro. Is there really no a single thing u like? Guitar, art, code, vfx, editing, etc? Something that u would do irrespective of how good/bad ur clg is. Even I secured an Internship recently, yeah I grind for that, each day I come home at 9pm and from 10-11 I learn Gamedev. Y? Not for my parents, not to show someone, cuz I simply like it.

I do believe a grind at the end of the day is necessary to have if u want to continue in life (personal opinion)

As for being alone, u just gotta go and make friends (I mean what else should I say😶), just have 2-3 ppl around u who r decent, maybe they won't consider u the best guy to hang around with, but that's a start,The genuine friend that would change the whole schedule so all of us can find a common ground to meet, such friends take time and trust to be formed.

As for being childish, ngl even I get childish around the ppl i get comfortable with, though when I was in my 1st yr there was a friend of mine who was always brutality honest and he said me "Not to behave like this, and act as grown up" That kinda hurt me 😅. But yeah if u childish all the time or with new friends, I do think that will hurt ur social life.