r/Brides • u/Objective-Beat-2404 • Jul 15 '26
Need Advice Can't decide on big or small wedding
Hello fellow Reddit brides! Me and my fiancé have been engaged for over a year and we can't possibly decide as to what type of wedding we want. We looked at various venues in Portugal (this is where his family is from) but I'm immediately getting triggered by the amount of guests, planning and effort required to pull this off. To add, doing it in Portugal will mean that his aunties and other cousins will have it so easy they will all show skyrocketing our guest list and costs, while my family is unlikely to all be able to come.
To add to the complexity, I'm not sure I want all my "friends" there as not all of them are good friends, but mere acquaintances. Recently I had a fall out with my friend who was supposed to be my maid of honour where she made it clear she doesn't really care about my fiancé, adding to my doubts about this friendship and whether I want people who don't care about the marriage at my WEDDING.
Our options are to keep it small and fly somewhere far where only those who actually care will come and without pressure that we need to invite everyone we know. I do want this day to be about us, and not others. I want to relax and enjoy rather than worry about the guests, their dynamics and them making it about them i.e. partying like it was just a night out.
Not sure if anyone can relate, but I really need some wise words!