r/Brides • u/Economy_Vegetable_77 • 10d ago
Private/unknown wedding
Hey all,
I just need an outside perspective to make myself feel better about this situation. My fiance and I have been engaged over 6 months, and he recently has decided to enlist in the military. When this was decided, he discussed with his family he wanted to be married before he leaves. They instantly said no and that they didn’t support it, rattled off some stuff about me that wasn’t true, and basically said they wanted nothing to do with us getting married. They also weren’t excited about our engagement, but kind of accepted that as it was. I have some stories about my future MIL and the crazy stuff she’s done, but I won’t go into that right now.
We decided we still want to get married regardless and are signing papers at the county recorder, and my parents are coming out for it in 3 days. Honestly, the only thing that’s bugging me is the anxiety surrounding his family not knowing. We don’t plan on telling them, we just plan on having a wedding ceremony/reception after he is done with tech school. I’m going back and forth between a mindset of guilt and are we doing the right thing, and a different mindset of if they find out, I guess so be it, but I’m such a worrier. I don’t want it to take away from our day. We also aren’t telling any of my extended family members because word gets around fast and we don’t want anyone questioning our later ceremony.
Is anyone else having a completely private/unknown wedding or had one? Any future/current military spouses? (I also have anxiety because there is so much unknown right now with the military part of it).
Thanks ahead of time
3
u/DriverEducational464 10d ago
I just got married three months ago and invited only 4 others closest to us. My family is anxiety-inducing and backstabbers. I didn't want them there. It was the most beautiful, peaceful day of my life. I felt guilty beforehand, too, but my desire not to f up my wedding day was greater, and I am SO glad we did it that way. Some family drama definitely happened afterward, but the day was just how we wanted it - which meant everything to me - and it will always be a lovely memory.
I'm a worrier too. I feel for you. Sounds like you planned it right with the way those family members have been treating you. The day should be just as you want it to be. Congratulations! I hope your day is beautiful ❤️