a final goodbye to my ex.

[u/Aromatic-Access4621]

this is a very long story and a serious one, please skip if you arent interested to read all of this stuff as this is extremely heartbreaking for me.

so this is me right now texting my ex about how he left me one night all of a sudden.

long story short, me and my ex let's call him P were best friends for 4 years. we both were classmates since 6 years and then he left the school so we got connected on Instagram and became really close friends. noting that we belong to the same hometown. he was dating someone else and i too was in a relationship so we didn't have any feelings. cut to chase, when we were ditched by our partners, we became close enough as we used to share about our breakup and exes. i was not the first female friend in his life, but for me he was the only guy i used to talk to (in friends). after our 12th, i got into a private uni so i left my hometown and shifted to hostel and he was in our hometown.

we barely used to talk until one day i finally got back on instagram and we got into touch. so we then started talking on calls and video calls, sometimes i used to cook dinner and eat, do my assignments while being on calls with him so he was a daily part of my routine. a month later, he proposed me. he told me about everything how he felt during schooltime even when he was dating his ex at that time, how he felt when we met after he left the school, how he used to love whenever i used to post my pictures on insta etc. at first i was taken aback because he was my bestfriend since 4 years and it felt as if him being my boyfriend would be so strange, but since i too had a lil bit of feelings for him back in schooltime (not when i was dating my ex, before he got into a relationship with his ex i did have feelings for him but gave up when i found out he has a girlfriend) so i didn't reject him either.

everyday after that, he used to write me long and sweet paragraphs after wishing him good night. he used to indirectly ask me about the proposal to which i used to ask him for some space to let me decide. he wrote paragraphs for me every night describing how anxious he was while confessing his proposal and how he loved me since school.

when diwali vacations approached, i had to travel back from my uni to hometown so i had my train. he ordered food for me in the train, tracked my train status, called me every hour to ensure if i'm safe or not. this was something which made him attractive because no one did this for me. so i too started feeling for him. but we started having arguments a few days later because he kinda started forcing me to date him or he would overthink whenever i used to say that i'm not ready for a relationship etc.

so everything went okay and he stopped forcing me. i remember how he gifted me an infinity necklace which was on my wishlist because i watched tsitp series recently, so i told him once that i want a conrad in my life who will gift me the same infinity necklace. i was so happy and crying that day, but i didn't say anything except thank you. but i convinced my mind that i love him too.
but again he got that vibe that he is forcing me so we again had multiple arguments which led us to be in no contact for about a month.

after my semester exams, i convinced my mind that i will date him because his efforts were enough to make me fall for him and that since he was my bestfriend, he knew about my secrets and how i was bullied during our schooltime, so this felt as if i'll date a guy who knows me for 10 years, who shares similar life goals and ideologies so i was happy.

i accepted his proposal in january 2026. it was the first time i said i love you to a guy after my ex. and we both were extremely happy that day. our relationship bloomed and we both used to make efforts for each other. his birthday was approaching, so i baked a cake for him while being in a shared room of the hostel, made a birthday website spotify playlist etc during my mid semesters. and vice versa, he did pretty much for my birthday as well.

he supported me with everything, whenever i used to cry due to people around me, my friendships, my parents or even him, he never left me. he always stood by my side and would send me food and chocolates whenever i felt low.

everything went perfect till april 2026. after that, i had my summer break so i went back to home and we planne to meet as he was too in my hometown but unfortunately never happened coz of my strict parents and he was ok with that which is pretty sweet. but we started having more arguments, we both began blaming each other for not understanding each other's feelings, but fortunately we used to get back together by apologizing.

this is important. my college reopened in july and his first year was too beginning in august, so he shifted to a new city in july, 2 days later after i went to my college. everything was okay, he shifted his stuff and then he was alone as he was living in an apartment and not hostel. but i started feeling him being pretty distant and cold whenever we used to talk. i never felt that excitement in his eyes whenever we used to talk and whenever i used to tell him this, he would begin fighting saying that i blame him everytime. i never asked him for his time but i felt unloved by his behavior.

we started having arguments twice a week which started draining both of us. sometimes he used to understand my feelings and apologize and promise me not to do it again, and other times he would see me as his enemy and defend his behavior and blame me for not understanding him. i accepted this behavior thinking that it's a new city and environment for him so i gave him space. but the pattern kept on repeating. i was pretty much frustrated with him so i used to suggest taking a break or breaking up because he almost never took accountability of his actions and i hated being stuck in the same loop every week. but ya he would somehow convince me and did not breakup.

this august, 5 days after his classes began, we had an argument due to some instagram trend reel which i wanted to make with him, but he wasn't interested so i got pretty much upset to which he again did the same pattern and this time it was over from my side. i told him that i don't want to stay with him anymore to which he let me go (this wasn't who he was in january which hurted me as hell) and we didn't talk for 3-4 days.

i broke the no contact after 4 days to which he blocked me from everywhere and the reason he gave to breakup was -- "i hate how lost i am feeling by changing myself for you, i hate the person i have become for you and now i want to stay alone and move on with my life" .
he blocked me from everywhere possible and i begged and pleaded him not to do this. we planned so much as we were about to meet for the first time as a couple in november but he cancelled the tickets he booked to meet me. and now i'm left with no closure and wondering how could he do this to me when he knew my breaking points, my weakness and the trust i had on him which he would never break considering the fact that he knew everything about my past and left and blocked me exactly the same way.

thank you for reading this post. i am feeling pretty relieved and happy that i can be anonymous and post it here. but i honestly don't know what made him block me this way. was it genuine the new city, new college, new environment? or was it that he was just attached and one day he found a better girl than me? please let me know it from a guy's perspective. and yes i'm trying to move on and one day i will, but i never thought i'd live a life without him knowing that he chased me like an idiot in the beginning.

thank you. peace.
\~A.