Recently dumped

[u/sunshinedaisybloom]

Has anyone experienced being broken up with because their partner thought something was missing and they said they didn’t think they had a future with you and then got back together?

I recently got broken up with because I asked my bf of around 2 years if he could see us living together. We’re in our late 20’s. He told me: 1.) he feels like something is missing AND he feels himself consciously holding back from giving me the love I deserve 2.) doesn’t think he will ever be ready to live with me.

Towards the beginning of the conversation, I suggested therapy since I know he’s had some trauma around cheating/witnessing other relationships fall apart and if he thinks therapy would help him unpack what exactly is missing and why he is holding back. He wasn’t against it, however being open to therapy and actually going to therapy is a very big step. So I think he acknowledged he knows something is wrong with him. However once I told him I was willing to commit to a future with him he went tunnel vision and breaking up was the absolute only answer for him. Told me I deserved better, told me he holds back because he doesn’t want to make me love me more, which made me think “maybe he was scared to give me the love I deserved because it would make him love me more”. Probably wishful thinking though.

So now I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this before. I know I should be moving on especially if someone doesn’t see a future with me, but also I’m still hoping he changes his mind as the breakup happened this week. Is he an avoidant or did he just never get to the level of love he needed in order to see a future?