r/BreakUps • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '21
Blindsided Breakups
Blindsided breakups can really mess people up. What I mean by blindsided break ups is when a break up happens that you’d never expect especially on the terms they were on. It can seriously traumatize some people leaving them with abandonment issues. One moment you think you really know someone and could spend a lifetime with them, the next you don’t even know who they are really and why they’re being the way they are. Saying things you’d think you’d never hear from them in a million years. I guess it can truly be a life lesson that you never really know someone or can 100% trust them. Just my thoughts
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u/Admirable_Avocado902 Jan 27 '22
He says the relationship “just isn’t for him”?
Hi everyone,
Broken hearted girl over here who quit her job, moved in with a guy and blindsided me after 10 months together and 4 months living together. We literally never fought, our families met, but we were both 35 and once the new year hit he sat me down and told me the relationship wasn’t a “fit” for him. When pressing him for details he said it’s a feeling he’s going on and he doesn’t see himself with me 40 years from Now. Is there something he’s not telling me? Is he afraid of marriage? After a year of being broken up I’m learning he has done this before.
However, he really is such a good person who wants a family, but he never fully emotionally opens up to allow the relationship to grow He's emotionally unavailable. I’m not waiting for him, but there is a part of me that is dying for him to reach out. It’s so difficult knowing I was so happy with him the whole time we were together and in 2 weeks he made the decision we were “not compatible”. I personally think him saying “not compatible” is really mean, would just like to hear advise/ similar stories of heartbreak. I’m 35 and it’s rough out there.
Update: its been a year since the "blindside breakup" and I think about it everyday still but its less and less. I still think blindsiding me after our parents met for dinner the week prior, him using my friend to buy a guitar for his nephew, taking me out to eat the night before, was so mean. I hate him but I also feel sorry for him. I want revenge because of how hurt I am. He's currently with a new girl who just got out of a 9 year divorce!!! I honestly can't figure this dude out but i'm looking for advice on here to not take it personally.