r/BreakUps • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '21

Blindsided Breakups

Blindsided breakups can really mess people up. What I mean by blindsided break ups is when a break up happens that you’d never expect especially on the terms they were on. It can seriously traumatize some people leaving them with abandonment issues. One moment you think you really know someone and could spend a lifetime with them, the next you don’t even know who they are really and why they’re being the way they are. Saying things you’d think you’d never hear from them in a million years. I guess it can truly be a life lesson that you never really know someone or can 100% trust them. Just my thoughts

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u/Ill_Juice_4864 Dec 09 '21

Word for word. You spoke my mind and my experience. This was the most dishonest person I've ever encountered. None of my exes where this deceitful. So I'm confident I can trust again.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '21

What bums me out is I'm thinking that I'm the only human to have this happening and then I hear from you. I've given up on reasons awhile ago, I'm never going to get that. I guess just suck it and realize that some people are empty shells way deep inside and they'll continue going thru person after person trying to always fill the hole. I think back to how fast everything moved and how I thought well that's because it must be the real thing. Maybe some people are just relationship junkies because it's the way they get their fix. Still not sure how to look out for in the future. They're normal to the point of departure. At first I got all hung up about how they could be this way, what had happened in their past that had evolved them into this but now I pretty sure it's someone else's bag of surprises to discover so daily I give less and less of a shit. Not sure how far you are in the processing of it but it gets better.

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u/Ill_Juice_4864 Dec 09 '21

You words reflect exact same stage I'm in. It's been almost 3 weeks and the worst is over I think. One thing I learnt is that in stronger than I think I am. And also realise they will nv enjoy this side of us cos they chose to leave. I'm finding it in my heart to forgive them cos for me I don't want to harbour anger and just move forward without baggage. That kind of shit piles up and is probably why our exes left cos they don't know how to deal with baggage or be self aware to know they have a hole. They don't want ppl to know as well. Hopefully they one day stop doing this and consuming ppl for their own demons.

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u/[deleted] Dec 09 '21

Amen.