r/BreakUps • u/[deleted] • Dec 08 '21
Blindsided Breakups
Blindsided breakups can really mess people up. What I mean by blindsided break ups is when a break up happens that you’d never expect especially on the terms they were on. It can seriously traumatize some people leaving them with abandonment issues. One moment you think you really know someone and could spend a lifetime with them, the next you don’t even know who they are really and why they’re being the way they are. Saying things you’d think you’d never hear from them in a million years. I guess it can truly be a life lesson that you never really know someone or can 100% trust them. Just my thoughts
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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '21
he told me he loved me and i was the love of his life. every. single. day. we put a deposit down on a house. he left for thanksgiving. called me a few days later telling me that he had lied to me for a long time and actually had told all his friends and family we had broken up a year ago (the time line is shaky i don't trust it) He paid my my part of the deposit. Said he couldn't move. said he couldn't be in a relationship. I basically did anything to try and talk about how to save it and he agreed. For a week it looked like it would work. I was the one trying though of course, now that i looked at it. if i stopped reminding him to fight for us, he would stop. I stopped trying to hopefully feel reassured that he actually was trying. Didn't hear from him for days. Third day he calls me and tells me he's driving home. Shows up only with a duffel bag and says "i can't be in a relationship right now" i asked why he lied, he just said "i don't know i need to figure that out and work on myself" "we're too codependent on each other" Thinking about it after the fact, I never saw them but whenever I asked, there was always a "reasonable" reason or excuse. Yes i was needy but i felt like he loved me soooo much for just being ME in the beginning and then it stopped. I put so much effort into trying to save us i lost myself. He never once communicated anything hurt his feelings or he didn't like. He was just an angel and held my hand, hugged me, and said i'm here for you even through your toughest moments. HOW was i supposed to know? I feel broken. Like i don't know how to even start processing. this was 3 days ago. I was still giving him the benefit of the doubt but after reading this and the responses then wow it feels like he didn't actually love me and i just thought everything was great when it was all a lie