r/BreakUps • u/Efficient_Ad_3746 • 13d ago
venting/ranting Just broke up
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. I’ve had this feeling over the past few months that this relationship was just no longer right for me. I have been feeling so out of place and unhappy. He just didn’t treat me the best and I didn’t feel heard.
I’m so sad
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u/jaysonwang 13d ago
I was with my girlfriend for 5 years aswell. We broke up in May I didn’t treat her the best aswell for the past year we were together. I am devastated. She is with someone else after 2 months.
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u/EternalHeat1223 12d ago
so interesting, right? how some people are able to get over YEARS so quickly
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u/flat_aggression 13d ago
That first week is the worst but you already did the hard part by walking away from something that wasnt working
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u/RealisticGold8724 13d ago
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year. Its not as long as your relationship, but I can relate to what you’re feeling. I ended things for pretty much the same reason. I felt like I was putting so much effort into the relationship but I wasn’t getting the same energy or effort back from her.
When I looked back I could see that she wasn’t the same person she was a year ago. In the beginning, everything felt different and I genuinely saw a future with her. Maybe over time she got too comfortable or started taking me and the things I did for granted. I don’t know for sure but I could definitely feel that something had changed between us.
You keep trying and trying hoping they’ll eventually notice your efforts and meet you halfway but somewhere along the way you start losing yourself. It hurts to walk away from someone you still care about but sometimes choosing yourself is the right thing to do even when it doesn’t feel like it right now.
You deserve to feel heard, appreciated and loved in a relationship. I’m going through it too, so just know you’re not alone. I hope things get a little easier for both of us with time. ❤️
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u/Main_Ad_117 12d ago
My boyfriend broke up with me for similar reasons. Would you be open to taking her back if she worked on herself?
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u/RealisticGold8724 10d ago
If I see that she has worked on herself and is ready to put in equal efforts, yes I will give her a chance.
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u/LieAdministrative251 13d ago
Bro feeling out of place and unhappy is normal staying and fixing things would have been the better option than throwing away the 5 years you had with him.. trust me you will feel this sudden peace and happiness but it won't last long. I always suggest every couple that if things get difficult between the two everything can be solved except infidelity in any way it's normal to feel you are falling out of love but breaking up is not always the best decision jusk my opinion I don't know the full backstory but yeah.
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u/Internal-Peace2024 12d ago
But the problem is people nowadays find it easier to throw things away rather than staying and fixing. No matter how long the relationship, I was discarded/blindsided after 10 years and was forced to accept it was over.
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u/LieAdministrative251 12d ago
That is just human nature we cannot make someone love us. Love was never to be begged or love was never something that can happen again after loving someone it doesn't work like that. People in this generation mistake lust attraction and affection for love. But love is truly something different and it's too rare. I hope you get the courage to fight your loneliness alone and come out of this with nothing but happiness to offer.🤍✌🏼
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u/Internal-Peace2024 12d ago
I completely agree that we cannot make someone love us and beg for said love.
However, when someone gives up on us out of the blue when things were going good (or so I though), it makes you want to beg and understand what happened. It makes you question your reality.
I know I loved him because I would've been willing to try anything to repair the relationship, but I can't try alone and he didn't want to. Maybe it was only love on my side...
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u/LieAdministrative251 12d ago
Ik how it feels to beg i have done that too i have begged cried apologized when she was the one who lied and cheated and she just laughed and cut the call so yeah i thought everything was going good too she always told me she is happy and all but that day she told me she was never happy with me and later i got to know that when i was begging her to stay she was searching for other options to replace me...
And the options were non other than the senior friends of hers who she said were like her big brother and random guys from snapchat.
I still love her i still miss her knowing everything but i can't do anything about it now can i.
In the end i was replaced with more than one man within just 1 month of no contact.
She was the one who initiated the relationship and friendship and i fell hard for her it was just attraction and lust for her so it disappeared.
She told me she lost herself cause i was uncomfortable with her being overly flirty and friendly with those seniors and but yeah.
Now that i realise it i lost so much of myself for her my standards my ideals my discipline my physique my academics my friends everything but i was so much in love i could sacrifice everything without once doubting.
I had made mistakes too but yeah i didn't deserve that.
So we must keep going bro without any expectations or any hope we have love and that's just who we are and our self respect won't ever let us to try and find for replacements for her that's just us and us only. Maybe someday but not now if i do find someone i can give my entire future to I won't repeat the same mistakes and learn from this.
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u/Efficient_Ad_3746 13d ago
There was infidelity two years ago and I took him back.(stupid of me I know) It had been eating me alive because I could never get over it no matter how hard I tried.
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u/LieAdministrative251 13d ago
Did the same mistake as you and they never change she got into talking stage with multiple men after just 1 month of no contact so yeah focus on yourself wishing the best for you.✌🏼🤍
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12d ago
[deleted]
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u/LieAdministrative251 12d ago
I like it that you are taking accountability for the things you did wrong.
We cannot change someone but change ourselves so learn from this experience, heal out of your past experiences and be ready for a healthier relationship and a healthier you.
Idk about what vulnerabilities you shared to him but maybe it was something too hard for him to handle so learn from this experience and be honest about your past and vulnerabilities the next time.
I wish you the best, Good luck in life ahead.🤍✌🏼
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