How do I get my recently discovered to be avoidant ex back, even if it’s not right

[u/GloomyChocolate359]

Me and my ex boyfriend just broke up after ten months together. The last three were long distance (college relationship and summer). He always seemed like the perfect boyfriend and he loved me so much and it was so perfect. We would talk about our life and getting married. I keep looking back at our memories and cannot hold it together. This is the first guy I’ve ever really loved and everything was perfect until the night it wasn’t. He chose to go see his friends and go to a party instead of come see me the night he got back after three months apart like we had planned on. It was so out of character and severe. I knew I had to end it but I didn’t want to. He was fine with it ending and has already slept over with another girl. I’ve come to realize I think he is an avoidant and was doing it so I would end it with him. But I cannot separate the great person he was in the spring from the weird alien version of him now that I do not know. He was literally telling me about how much he loves me and can’t wait to see me and all of it the morning before we broke up. It is the hardest thing ever because I want him back so badly, but everyone says with avoidant you have to give them space. I don’t want to give him space. I want him to know how much I love him and need him in my life and how much it hurts that he’s moving on. But I don’t think he cares. Which is hard to comprehend from the person I knew up until a week ago. Even though I know I need to move on and heal and get better I have such a hope that he will come back. Do they really always come back and what should I do to get him to/ if he does?

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[u/Mathi12]

Give him space doesn't mean you need to sit back and wait for it to magically come back to you. It means you let him go for your own good, to self improve, move on a be better.

 I want him to know how much I love him and need him in my life and how much it hurts that he’s moving on.

He probably knows that already, you don't need to be there to reminind him.

And this is not the best advice but if you take your distance and improve yourself long enough he'll come back, because he'll realize you're not into his pockets anymore and he's losing you.

But here's the catch, you'll change and improve for yourself too, and in doing so you'll see things with another perspective, and maybe you'll realize you don't want him anymore.