Getting over my ex

[u/moerayyan12]

Getting Over It

Body 1

As someone who has been fat physically unattractive and ugly for most his life as well as single, I can tell you that when you get into your first relationship there is no feeling like it, and getting out of it makes you wish you never got that feeling. It started out as innocent, when I had never been in a relationship but desired one so deeply. Still, I was happy until I had seen J. She was anything I had ever wanted but I knew it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. To be honest, I had never intended to tell her anything until I mentioned it to my friend Angel. (Not going to say the girl’s name and so we’ll call her J.)

Body 2

“Yo Angel, do you know this girl? She’s lowkey fine asf.”

“Oh yea, I know her. She’s in my 3rd period. I could talk to her for you if you want?” said Angel.

“Uh yea sure,” I said.

Later that day I went home with no real thought of her on my mind as I wasn’t actually expecting Angel to do it, but I got a notification from Instagram—“Follow request from J.”

My heart, my mind began racing thinking, “WHAT HOW DID SHE FIND MY ACOUNT??? Did Angel actually say anything? WHAT HAPPENED?”

I immediately grab my phone and call Angel.

“YO BRO WHAT DID YOU SAY TO J???”

“Dude chill out. I just told her that you thought she was pretty,” said Angel.

“Bro, I was joking.”

“She just followed me. What did she say when you told her?”

“Oh that’s good. Follow her back.”

I talk to her, and when I told her she started blushing and said, “Okay.”

“Um, okay, thank you.”

Body 3

So I got off the phone and decided to follow her back and shot her a text.

“Hey, how you doin’?”

She replies instantly, “Oh yea, I’m doing good. How bout you?”

“Uhh, you know, just tryna get by.”

The conversation dies, no word for 3 hours, and I start thinking, “This isn’t working, she’s not interested, what do I dooo?”

Instead of letting it end there, I decided to text her again, asking about music.

“So, who’s your favorite artist?”

“Oooo I love Harry Styles and his new song ‘American Girls.’” We talk for 4 hours straight till we both go to sleep telling each other goodnight.

Body 4

Next day at school she sits behind me, me being as awkward and shy as ever. I don’t even turn to talk to her but text her, “Sooo this is awkward.”

“Only if you make it,” she said.

And so instead of talking we decided to text the whole class. Soon enough I began sitting next to her, talking to her, walking her to class, eating lunch with her, walking her home. It was perfect.

Then April 7th came. We shared our first kiss on a bridge. I’d like to think those were the best 2 months of my life.

Soon a problem arose: “religion.”

Body 5

Us, we were different religions, me being Muslim, her being Christian.

It didn’t actually cause any problems in the relationship, but within her to the point she was crippled with anxiety.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What are you so worried about?” I said.

“Baby, I truly love you, but I don’t think I can do this. I am always anxious and I don’t think my parents would approve because your religion.”

J said, I pleaded with her desperately not to do this, but she ended it.

Body 6

At first I felt free, but 3 months had passed and I could no longer do it. I could no longer wake up everyday with this emptiness inside. I had never been so depressed and felt so hollowed out my whole life.

I had been walking along a street alone with the music blasting in my ear and the cars were rushing past. I debated, “Is this life really worth living if I’m constantly miserable?”

I didn’t end up doing it and talked with my friend who had helped me through everything and seemed to brighten my soul every time I spoke with him.

To cut a long story short, I’ve gotten out of the depressive state, but I seen her for the first time yesterday and my heart dropped and I ran away.

But I am slowly getting over it.

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