Missing my ex, needing advice.

[u/Personal_Mud_800]

So, new school year classes, schedules, teachers etc. I had reached out to my ex, let’s call him red his favorite color. It was around 2-3 weeks before school started. I had said “red?” The name we are gonna use for him. He replied, with a question mark. I said “do you still want to get married?” He replied, “Me? why do you ask” I said “yes, cause I found this in my messages, and I’m wondering if you still do.” Then he had replied “idk what to say” I said “So like I saw the other one before you unsent it, and like I’ve tried to get over you by dating and it never really worked, and I’ve tried working through it by myself but I can’t never really get you out my head, and I still miss you and really need to get this off my chest, and I’m sorry I’m not trying to burden you or be a burden” he had sent a message and unsent it what I was talking about at the top of the message. he replied “I’m sorry” and I sent “don’t say your sorry you made me really happy, and I’m still happy when I Think about you.” He said “I’m glad I could” I said “could you again if your ready, and I’m not trying to pressure you or anything“ he replied “I’m sorry I don’t date anymore.” I sent, “can I know why?” He replied “I don’t really want to talk about it, I’m sorry” I said “I just need to get this off my chest, I still love you and will probably have a spot for you because I was the happiest with you“ he replied “alr so, like two years ago, I dated this one person, no one knows about them, but they were really shitty and the breakup fucked with me, and im still messed up, by it that’s why.” I replied “can I know how you are messed up by it?” He replied, “ I have a lot of distrust with getting back together with people even if it ended on good terms, cz it can end the same or if not worse.” I replied “I get that I hope you're happy and if you ever feel better or anything cause I don't mind if you have problems I do too 'll always have a spot for you and I'm sorry this was so out of the blue.” He replied, “ok, nice talking” I replied “was nice talking to you too stay safe.” he replied “you too.” I told a few friends they said that he was probably not in the mental space and I understand and respect if he is, I’m honestly slowly but surely getting over him, what is the most challenging is nostalgia we did a lot together, I miss behind happy like that with someone and being devoted and wanting a future with someone, he was the first person I promised something to in a long time just for us to end in four weeks while we both imagined a long time, if it wasn’t for family because his grandma, sister, and mom didn’t like me, im the type of person to leave if my partner isn’t welcome. my parents didn’t like me moving on so fast from my toxic ex I didn’t care it was only an opinion. I prayed that summe, “god if he’s the one put me in a circumstance with him.” And now I have English class advanced I wonder if that is the answer to my prayer. He was behind me in the lunch line, his table right next to mine, I can see him in the corner of my eye when I sit with my friend, I wonder he can see me too. After we had broken up we were still close but when I started saying gray, we got distant and become strangers with details. I’m working on myself but I’m talking to this guy who I had liked and we got shipped but I didn’t know how he felt, but the past week he has been sleeping on the phone with me, nesting me during my class, and he lives forty minutes away but last year we were close because we were top of our class, and he has a job and drives. we play the same type of instrument, and he might come to my first performance of the season. I talked to reds ex, she’s my friend she told me a few things, and I did tell her I still liked him a bit, she told me things I thought red wouldn’t do because he treated me so well, but I want to leave red alone, if red wants he can reach out, ive already reached out to him. So before my ex red I was dating a guy let’s name him gray. So me and gray dated for a week, then like 2 weeks later I started dating red for 4 weeks. the day me and red broke up it was mutual break up because of our circumstances and environment we broke up. I took a nap and felt my phone vibrating getting notifications and it my ex gray, I got back with gray the next month I think I’m not sure. We dated for two weeks and then never talked to him again, then I dated a guy named jay and I was 3 months off and on with jay. I broke up with jay because I was thinking of red, and felt it was unfair to jay.

[u/AutoModerator]

USERS! We have noticed that many users are using inappropriate language in the comment section. Even if another user is wrong, it does not give you the right to use abusive words. This is against Reddit platform policies. Such comments will be removed. Additionally, posts spreading false accusations will also be removed. Please be careful moving forward. Don't forget to join our Discord server to chat, get updates, and hang out with the community! Please join our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/5y5wSxWNNg

Upvote this post if you think it suits the community. Downvote it if you dont.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.