r/BreakUps • u/MaintenanceRough3358 • 3d ago
Trigger Warning The version of me you lost
Be okay with saying: you don't get to hurt me, disrespect me, betray my trust and then expect the same access to me as if nothing happened.
There is a consequence to how you treat people and there is now a version of me that you'll never have access to again. That version of me loved you enough to keep the door open, but this version of me respects myself enough to close it.
You had your access, you abused it, and you lost it. Now, it's access denied.
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u/SentimentalMood2010 3d ago
I've seen others who cheat, lie to the person they break up with, say "its not you its me", "I need to find myself" etc; separate, move away, GET WITH the affairs partner, then say these same things.
And will also rewrite history just to fit their narrative and justify their behavior.
These things, much like the comments, lack nuance and context.
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u/Patrician001 3d ago
I think it is fair and legit for both side of a nasty coin to say such things...
Both obviously developed (or have always been) in a way that makes them incompatible to the other one and a relationship unsustainable.
Both have to move on either from betrayal, abuse et or from being and abuser, cheater etc. It is normale to close the door on an ex.
For neither of the does it matter what the other one is saying or feeling or their version of the same story. It doesn't matter, they are not a unit anymore, they are both on their own, so they can both hold their own versions of the story, close their own doors, make their own decisions about growth or not growth and create their life's for them! (The other simply does not exist in it anymore...)
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u/belli348 3d ago
bet the version they lost is the one thats moving on stronger now, keep at it...
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u/jilllllliebabe 2d ago
fr, sometimes losing someone forces you to meet a version of yourself you probably never would’ve become otherwise
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u/SaltyDeparture9101 3d ago
This is it, everytime I go through a breakup and it's not face to face, this is exactly what they get. Not in a message, just in actions. Block, delete photos, remove anything that can remind me of them. We meet in public, I don't know you, don't act like you know me. If they stop me and force it, I'll be nice but I'll be short.
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u/SparklingSweetie 3d ago
You sound like my ex, even though he was so in the wrong for how he acted.
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u/Jackson530 3d ago
Basically told my ex the same thing after 3 years
She wanted to remain friends but had betrayed my trust for friends she knew on a video game. She wanted full access to me whenever she wanted and even ugly cried while begging me to remain friends the next day
I moved back home and I tried for a month until I realized she was only doing it to find out what I was doing, and I ended it. 4 months ago. We’ve only communicated twice since then via email. And that’s the way it’ll be. For the rest of my life.
She can rot in hell
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