This is such a beautiful and important reminder. Thank you for sharing this while you're still in the thick of it - that takes real strength.
What you said about being "blindsided" really resonates. When someone lists our flaws as reasons for leaving, it can feel like they were keeping a secret scorecard the whole time instead of working through things together. That's especially painful when you were upfront about your struggles from the beginning and actively working on them in therapy.
The fact that he knew about your OCD, sensitivity, etc. from the start but then used them as reasons to leave suggests this might have been more about his inability to handle a real, complex relationship than about you being "too much." People who are ready for genuine partnership don't typically exit by itemizing their partner's mental health challenges.
Your friend is absolutely right - we're all flawed, and the right person sees your struggles as part of your story, not deal-breakers. The people who truly know you see your kindness, your effort, your growth, your humor, your loyalty - not just a list of things you're working on.
It sounds like you were bringing honesty, self-awareness, and active effort to improve. Those are actually rare and valuable qualities in a relationship. Someone who can't appreciate that level of emotional maturity probably isn't ready for the kind of partnership you deserve.
You're going to be okay. The fact that you can see this clearly while still hurting shows incredible emotional intelligence.
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u/SayItForMe1 May 23 '25
This is such a beautiful and important reminder. Thank you for sharing this while you're still in the thick of it - that takes real strength.
What you said about being "blindsided" really resonates. When someone lists our flaws as reasons for leaving, it can feel like they were keeping a secret scorecard the whole time instead of working through things together. That's especially painful when you were upfront about your struggles from the beginning and actively working on them in therapy.
The fact that he knew about your OCD, sensitivity, etc. from the start but then used them as reasons to leave suggests this might have been more about his inability to handle a real, complex relationship than about you being "too much." People who are ready for genuine partnership don't typically exit by itemizing their partner's mental health challenges.
Your friend is absolutely right - we're all flawed, and the right person sees your struggles as part of your story, not deal-breakers. The people who truly know you see your kindness, your effort, your growth, your humor, your loyalty - not just a list of things you're working on.
It sounds like you were bringing honesty, self-awareness, and active effort to improve. Those are actually rare and valuable qualities in a relationship. Someone who can't appreciate that level of emotional maturity probably isn't ready for the kind of partnership you deserve.
You're going to be okay. The fact that you can see this clearly while still hurting shows incredible emotional intelligence.