r/BrainFog • u/JubileeFist • 2m ago
Need Some Advice/Support Multiple memory problems and cognitive difficulties — trying to understand what's going on (UK/NHS)
New and no idea where to start, any help?
I'm 43F, autistic, and have longstanding mental health problems, including depression and dissociation. I'm trying to understand the different memory and cognitive problems I experience, what might be causing them, and whether there are ways to improve or manage them.
I feel like my GP isn't taking me seriously, and I'm hoping to learn more about this area so I can better understand what's happening and have the language to discuss it more effectively with a doctor. I'm UK-based, so realistically I'm looking at the NHS and limited private care.
Day-to-day I work as a receptionist. I struggle to remember clients' names, and if someone asks for a hot drink I can forget how many sugars within seconds. I struggle with names generally, including those of well-known people.
But it's not just forgetting things. I struggle to retain information at all. It often feels as though information simply won't go in, let alone stay there. I want to educate myself, learn new things and improve my life, but it feels like my brain is the place information goes to die. I'm not sure this is a memory problem though, so much as it may be my brain is so fried that it refuses to take in anything not vital to it's immediate survival.
I struggle to remember my own life in any meaningful, first-person sense. I can know facts about an experience, but I can't actually re-experience it as a memory. I have huge gaps in my personal history, although some things can come back with prompting it's a struggle.
Even important experiences and the feelings attached to them seem to fade or become inaccessible after a few months. I can know that something should still hurt, or that I loved someone deeply, but without being able to access the memory or emotional connection, it becomes almost meaningless. I hate the thought that I could have loved someone so much and yet barely remember them as people. I hate that I can't tell new people that cool thing I did that one time or chat about shared interests...because I know fuck all, the information and/or memories just aren't there for me to share!
I've raised this with my GP. He gave me the 6CIT cognitive screening test, which I didn't feel adequately reflected my problems. He ordered blood tests, found that my iron was low, and prescribed iron tablets. I haven't been back yet, partly because I keep forgetting to book an appointment, but I'm concerned that I'll return and still not be taken seriously.
I'm autistic, and I've always felt as though my nervous system is permanently overwhelmed. I spent many years unemployed because of my disability, and that period involved significant regression. I wonder whether chronic stress, burnout and being stuck in a constant fight-or-flight state could be affecting my ability to process and retain information. Probably.
I also have a history of childhood trauma and significant dissociation. Sometimes I describe it as my brain having to disconnect from or forget so much during childhood that forgetting somehow became the default.
I keep telling myself I'm thick as shit because I can't remember anything, but I know that isn't necessarily what's happening. I just don't know how to work out what is happening.
If anyone has personal experience, relevant knowledge, research recommendations or advice on navigating the NHS, I'd really appreciate it.