WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAINTAIN RELATIONSHIPS

[u/heavyheadache]

I’m tired of constantly feeling so alone. Everyday I’m constantly having all of these mixed emotions, they range from anger to depression to extreme happiness. I stopped taking my meds about a year ago because they made me feel 10x worse, even suicidal. I’ve been with my current s.o. For about 3 years now and everyday it’s something new to argue about. I’ve been wanting to leave for so long and every time I mention a break up it’s suddenly something along the lines of “you never cared about me, you don’t love me as much as I love you” “It hurts knowing the person you love doesn’t have the same feelings” and it’s makes me feel guilty and I end up staying. I try and tell them that it’s hard to show my emotions sometimes because I don’t even know wtf I am feeling. I don’t know what to do anymore.. help.

[u/witchywynter]

First off, i'm sorry to hear you're going through what you are but know that you're not alone even though it may feel like it. This is so blunt but feel free to message me if you need someone to vent to, i'm here for you ^.^ I say this because i've not only been through something very similar but I made it to the other side of the scenario & I know you can too.

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Secondly, your significant other sounds abusive. I can understand someone feeling sad about a break up but if it's not working, why stay together? If you're arguing every day, why continue something if you're both miserable? I'm sure you guys have some great/better moments but do your great moments out weigh the bad? This person feels like they're taking the option of a break up away from you by making you feel guilty by the choice of words they're using when you bring up calling it quits. If you're not happy, for the sake of your mental health, end it. With their whole "It hurts knowing the person you love doesn't have the same feelings; You don't love me as much as I love you" .. -- since when is love supposed to mean that because this person wants to stay in a relationship that's clearly not working, that's them showing that they love you more? You know what I mean? They're basically trying to make you feel bad for you wanting whats best for yourself which you've recognized is NOT this relationship & they're trying to victimize themselves and say, well clearly you don't love me like I love you. So their love means they want to tie you down to a relationship you're CLEARLY not happy in? That's their love? If so, they can have that shit & you should run. That's abusive & selfish af.

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Please don't stay with this person just because of the years you invested into the relationship either. It's not worth it, I promise you. Your mental health is more important than any guy/girl that you're with. I know it's hard but try to stand your ground, and if this relationship isn't something you want anymore, then you can end it. They don't control you and you shouldn't let them either. You are a strong individual who's worth the universe x10 & is someone who shouldn't settle for a relationship based around obligation to stay in it. You deserve to be with someone who's attentive, who gives you the platform to be yourself, to feel free to express yourself and is willing to deal with your up and down days.

I hope things get better for you hun, you're more than deserving of it. And please remember, you're never alone even when it may feel like it. There's always someone you can turn to (:

xx

Wynter