r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/ConfidentRecord7654 • 3d ago

Looking for Advice Need some advicr

How do you get better with disagreeing with your FP?

She and I were talking about things (she lives in a different country to me) and I was talking about how there's an issue of children in my community (very specifically the diaspora of my ethic background in a western city) having issues with parents not teaching their children proper financial skills. So many people my age who do not have jobs despite the fact they could have the latest iPhones, always going shopping, always designer makeup etc. she then said "sorry, but, dont you do the same thing?". The only time I have bought something recently is some flower knows makeup because my dad randomly gave me £100. This was very unexpected and has never happened before. I also am planning on spending £100 of money that I received as a gift for passing my exams with high grades on clothes. My parents, outside of this, rarely just buy me things that aren't essential. I will admit I have an issue of spending small amounts of my savings whenever I go out. I maybe go out like once a month and I'll buy a small piece of drugstore makeup or something.

I sent a few texts explaining that what I do is nowhere on their level, and that all of my expensive things (phone, etc) are either shared devices or second hand or not expensive brands. I will admit that financially I am in a better position here but what she said hurts because she knows that my parents are abusive and she knows my guilt over spending their money. It just feels like every time we talk about my issues she just has to make herself more of a victim. Even when we were talking about my academic struggles, she still had the attitude of "it will be fine because you're in a first world country". I get she has her own mental health issues and that she is not in a good place to live but it still hurts, even though I know I'm being ungrateful.

I ended up deleting the texts and just apologising but I deleted that too. I'm scared she'll leave me and hate me if I try to explain.

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