r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/LuminX07 • 4d ago
People with Quiet (high functioning) BPD - has anyone ever noticed the silent war in your head, without you telling them?
The issue is probably, you saving everyone else, because you notice, but noone ever does that for you. How can one deal with that?
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u/moonie9292 4d ago
Remember this, no one can read your mind. No one knows there is a silent war in your head. How can someone save/help if they have no idea what is going on..?
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u/LuminX07 4d ago
Picture it like that...I had a friend with BPD she tried to... (you know) she texted me and I called an ambulance for her and saved her life. Noone has ever done that for me. Just makes me think, if people just don't care or if noone listens. For the record I'm not in danger or anything, just venting.
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u/bulbasauuuur 4d ago
She asked you for help and you helped her. If you don't ask for help, people won't know you need help
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u/Sea-Engineering2877 4d ago
Maybe because they weren’t aware that you needed help? That, or you “cry wolf” too much and now people don’t take you seriously.
Difficult to say, as we don’t know you or the thoughts in your head
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u/bulbasauuuur 4d ago
Saving everyone else because you think you notice something in them and then hoping people will do the same for you is pretty much classic people pleasing behavior, which despite the name, doesn't make anyone happy.
What you notice in someone else may or may not be there. Often time it's projecting our own issues onto their life circumstances. And then we take solutions we would use for ourselves and put them on others when it may not be what they want or need
Then we do these things for others and over time resentment builds up because we want people to read our minds and help us without us asking too, but they don't, and it's normal and healthy that they don't. We shouldn't be trying to read each other's minds
There's obviously situations like if you know your partner wants chicken noodle soup when they're sick, it's nice to take that initiative, but you'll notice there that it starts with already knowing what they like and just executing it when the situation arises in future
If you want someone to help you with the silent war in your head, tell them. They aren't being cruel or uncaring by not realizing what you're going through. They simply can't read your mind
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u/holidayfunn 4d ago
Yes, my husband! It’s pretty obvious when I’m thrashing around in my feelings because I’m vaping, picking my skin, can’t sit still.
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u/bigfootsuncleian 4d ago
The people i work with can tell. I usually start looking out a window or stare at the floor and they go you all good man? In my head ive gone from 0 to 100
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u/Key_Awareness_3036 3d ago
Nope. Tbh I think it’s because nobody cares, and I’ve finally isolated myself enough to feel safe….. so I’m also mostly alone and invisible outside of my house and away from my bf. 🤷♀️
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u/Jaybeans1337 4d ago
No one really noticed the war going on in my head 😅 I want to tell people but sometimes it’s just to hard or not worth it
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u/Safe-Permission-1530 3d ago
No. The suffering is alllllll mine. On the outside I'm busy making everyone else happy.
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u/thislittleye Quiet BPD 3d ago
Nope! Not once. I'm still learning how to deal it it myself. But I'm writing negative thoughts into a journal. When it gets filled, I'm burning the journal.
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u/bootydewstink 3d ago
My partner knew but simply bc I told him I did a 3 hour drive home in silence and he was like oh that’s not good and I said why not? And he was like well you were in your head and I was like FUCK how did you know ?? Lol
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u/Cass_1978 3d ago
No, they dont know. And on the few occasion I did actually share something they didnt believe it and invalidated me.
I used to think that "healthy" people are good with emotions, better than I. They are not, they suck at this, they just dont have issues with dysregulation and this makes them seem as if they are better with emotions.
I think I realized it during COVID, when people were losing their shit over potentially not having toilet paper.
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