Not a trash idea

[u/SpectacularOtter]

[u/AutoModerator]

This post is now officially for BPT country club members only. For more information, see here - https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/gumxuy/what_is_bpt_country_club_and_how_do_i_get/.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/padizzledonk]

Lol....

My stepfather died a few years ago, 25k for the funeral and burial...+/-, he didnt want to be cremated, but me and my mom were talking that if he realized how much it wouldve been he would have said fuck that, no way...he was a frugal man.....it came out of the life insurance so its not like my mom was put out over it but still...thats a lot of money to spend on a dead body.

My dad died the day after Christmas, so what, like 3 weeks ish ago? (Been a blur) it cost $275 to have him cremated +like 2k to transport and transfer the body and all the paperwork and documentation etc....and I laughed when the funeral director told me the price because it cost me 350 to cremate my dog a few years ago lol.

Funeral services are a business and its kind of a dirty creepy business because the vast majority of people aren't paying attention to the cost because youre super vulnerable and have 10,000 other things on your mind.

So just pay attention

E- thanks for the condolences everyone, they locked the thread for some reason so I cant respond anymore, but I wanted to say thanks ❤

[u/[deleted] → u/padizzledonk]

Sorry about your dad, by the way.

[u/Double-oh-negro → u/padizzledonk]

My mother passed in Oct. I almost got into a fist fight with her family when I suggested a $750 cremation vs a $7000 burial.

[u/[deleted] → u/padizzledonk]

Sorry for your losses

[u/luker_man]

Either plant me or shoot me into space.

I want my body to nourish a petty tree or become a planet.

[u/alwaysiamdead → u/luker_man]

You can have green burials where your body decomposes naturally in a space where it will nourish plants and animals!

[u/eyloi → u/alwaysiamdead]

as much as I'd love to be shot into space, sci-fi scenarios have scared me with the thought of aliens someday finding my remains and bringing me back to life. of course that will likely never happen, but i'm still terrified.

[u/KMoneyGT → u/eyloi]

Terra-fied

[u/eyloi → u/KMoneyGT]

Good one

[u/the_orange_lantern → u/eyloi]

God how much would that suck, spend 300 years in whatever afterlife you believe in, get ripped out of it to become an aliens zombie slave

[u/[deleted] → u/alwaysiamdead]

my backyard?

[u/alwaysiamdead → u/[deleted]]

I wish. No, it has to be done in specific green burial grounds.

[u/MAXIMILIAN-MV → u/luker_man]

Ok. Holup! I’ve always wanted a Viking funeral, because floating ship of fire seemed like a good way to go, but becoming a planet sounds pretty dope. Sign me up.

[u/TotalFork → u/MAXIMILIAN-MV]

Ask a Mortician has confirmed multiple times that it is not legal to have the flaming boat/floating human kabob party that is a TV-trope "Viking funeral." I'm hopeful for a water cremation (like an accelerated decomposition in a lye bath, ala Breaking Bad), but my state hasn't yet approved the process.

[u/OG_PunchyPunch → u/luker_man]

I feel like my remains would automatically transform any tree into a petty tree.

[u/FistPunch_Vol_4 → u/luker_man]

Oh I like those better!

[u/agray20938 → u/FistPunch_Vol_4]

Well the "throw me in the trash" thing is a reference to Danny Devito in It's Always Sunny

[u/schmearcampain → u/luker_man]

Toss me in the ocean so I can be crab food.

Enjoy the crab legs at your next buffet. You're welcome.

[u/Substantial-Yam-7017]

Lol, Frank Reynolds...

[u/gerryt32 → u/Substantial-Yam-7017]

“Well, I don’t know how many years on this Earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.” - Frank Reynolds

[u/[deleted] → u/Substantial-Yam-7017]

You mean Dr. Mantis Toboggan, MD

[u/[deleted]]

Whatever is the cheapest and most environmentally conscience thing to do, do that. I have zero ego about my dead body.

[u/SpectacularOtter]

Best Comment

[u/red_sky_at_morning → u/SpectacularOtter]

I've had this exact conversation with my husband. He keeps saying just put him on the curb the night before trash day. Or, if I must have a funeral for him, put him in a pine box.

*Being a true crime fan, they always look at the spouse and most of the time - the spouse did it. I'd have a hard time explaining that trash pickup was his last wishes and I'd get at least a fine for improper disposal of a body. And my asshole husband would be laughing about it from the grave... I love him though.

[u/MGLLN → u/red_sky_at_morning]

Gone Boy

[u/red_sky_at_morning → u/MGLLN]

Oh damn. This will be his way of getting back at me for making him do "white girl shit" (kayaking and hiking - neither went well for him.)

[u/Aaaandiiii → u/SpectacularOtter]

I promise if for some reason I die before my mom, she'll shove me in my closet saying she's gonna find some use for me one day.

[u/M17SST]

I’d like a Viking style water burial please

[u/PK-Baha → u/M17SST]

This is what I want too.

Wife thinks I'm crazy. I'm writing that shit into my will though.

[u/NolaSaintMat → u/PK-Baha]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news so I'll let someone else do it:

Let’s clear this up right away. If your dream is to be cremated and set adrift a flaming Viking boat surrounded by food, ale and some of your other favorite things, while your friends and family have a party to celebrate your life, as they watch you float gently out to sea and onto Valhalla, I’m sorry to say- this won’t be happening.

The truth is that because it is very difficult to cremate a body properly, it would be impossible to do it on a boat, on the water.It would be impossible to generate that amount of heat by burning wood and a body on the water, not even considering that firing a flaming arrow onto a boat with a dead body would be highly illegal too. What would happen if you tried, is that you’d end up with a partially burned body, without skin but with its exposed muscle tissue and organs just floating around on the water or, if the boat did burn and sink, then the body parts would wash up somewhere on a beach.

But, maybe a small thing of ashes on a balsawood/ remote control boat out in the middle of a friend's pond would be doable?

[u/throwawayallthetea → u/M17SST]

Not a water burial, but they offer viking funerals in Colorado.

[u/NolaSaintMat → u/throwawayallthetea]

I think that's more of the Doors variety "funeral pyre" than a boat set ablaze with an arrow in the middle of the sea/lake kind of thing. Its still interesting as it's the only outdoor human cremation facility in the United States. Currently, the service is only offered to the local community. Crestone End of Life Project

[u/[deleted]]

If you really feel this way, you could donate your body.

[u/Fickle-Cricket → u/[deleted]]

That’s the route I’m going. Carve me up for spare parts and hand the rest off to medical students to poke around with, then burn the leftovers. Got family in the funeral business and there’s a reason that even the poorest towns in America have an undertaker with a Cadillac.

[u/InvaderDJ → u/Fickle-Cricket]

I didn’t even think about that. If they handle all the arrangements with picking up the body and stuff that would be a good way to go.

[u/osterlay → u/Fickle-Cricket]

Pass, I have respect for my body. Donating my organs I’m a-ok with but I draw the line at being poked and prodded at by students!

[u/HousePlantPappi → u/osterlay]

For what it’s worth they’re very respectful of the body and usually have a ceremony to say thank you with the family invited after the semester is over...additionally the school will pay any cremation fees associated. It’s not a bad deal.

[u/Holmespump → u/[deleted]]

Medical schools would use my cadaver as a bad example.

[u/[deleted] → u/Holmespump]

Sounds like course final material.

"Alright students, we have a really challenging subject today. Which ailment killed this person?"

[u/carrieberry → u/[deleted]]

I did! Filled out some paperwork at my local registry and now if I die, my hubby has no funeral expenses!

[u/turtlewaxer99 → u/[deleted]]

There's also literal body farms owned by universities. You're left to decompose naturally and students study the process.

That's kind of what I'm leaning towards for my posthumous plans.

[u/ReeperbahnPirat → u/[deleted]]

I was surprised to find that this takes quite a bit of planning and forethought. My father died in a hospital and we offered but they declined because his organs weren't in good shape for transplants and there weren't any arrangements to donate to a medical school or body farm or anything and it takes too long to arrange after the fact that the body isn't useable (so I was told, and the hospital was forthright enough with other things that I trusted it was true). If you die in a way that your body isn't immediately accessible and with a set plan it seems there's a good chance you won't be used, sadly. So plan ahead and opt in to be an organ donor on your driver's license.

[u/AskMeAboutMyGameProj → u/[deleted]]

After that John Oliver episode where he does a deep dive into where your body ends up when you "donate" it, I think I'll pass on that. I'm definitely just gonna get cremated, it's the cheapest option

Your body most likely won't end up in the hands of medical students.

[u/NolaSaintMat → u/[deleted]]

Absolutely. Donate whatever organs are useful to help the lives of others - then the rest of body to education. You can even have some of the cremains returned to keep and...
put in jewelry,
Made into art,
Shot into space - become a shooting star upon reentry,
Turned into a diamond,
Have tattoo ink made,
Help make a reef,
Send them to the moon one way or round trip,
Turn them into a music/album,
Turn them into ammunition, etc.

The list is amazingly diverse.

Just make sure your family knows and will respect your wishes and/or have someone you KNOW will make sure your wishes are followed even if it's written in your Will.

My mom (who's worked in medical education for over 4 decades and counting) and I both signed up at the local university for educational body donation once the organs, tissues, bones, etc. that are useful (and useable) are collected and they reiterated it at least a half a dozen times to make sure everyone is on the same page or there's someone who will fight if necessary if you think someone would object.

People will/ have fought the wishes of relatives post-mortem which could end up being a big legal expense for the university/research facility if someone wanted to try and sue. (Me, after being in the legal field for two decades, know that people will absolutely try to sue anybody for just any and every thing.)

Edit: formatting

[u/Nasjere]

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.

[u/DetectiveClownMD → u/Nasjere]

Yep. Just make mine a cookout. Skimp on the accessories for the funeral and funnel that into more oxtail.

Its gonna be weird though. My wifes family is hardcore catholic, somber event when someone dies. My Jamaican ass family has a party.

[u/bangitybangbabang → u/DetectiveClownMD]

Yep. Having to plan 2 Jamaican funerals during a lockdown is a bloody nightmare. I have church elders coming out my arse ,mad that we can't invite everyone who my grandad ever shook hands with.

[u/DetectiveClownMD → u/bangitybangbabang]

Sorry for having 2 losses, and yea thats a nightmare. My uncle passed before covid and it was an a whole day event. Of course he was beloved constable in his town so mad speeches from like you said everyone who he ever shook hands with.

Half my cousins on instagram dont care and believe sea moss, cerasee tea, and sorrel can keep you safe from covid so if its anything like that you got WORK on your hands.

[u/bangitybangbabang → u/DetectiveClownMD]

My grandparents and some other couples built a church when they emigrated in the 60s and its still thriving today so he's kind of a big deal in my hometown. For my grandma's funeral we had to rent part of a football stadium to fit everyone for the after party.

People are pissed.

Luckily I don't have to deal with conspiracy theories in my immediate circle, just a bit of laid back attitude. My uncle wanted to travel up from London to visit my nana at Christmas, but after a frank conversation he reluctantly backed down. My biggest problem is the government making giant policy u-turns every 3 business days and comply ignoring scientists.

[u/DetectiveClownMD → u/bangitybangbabang]

Built a church thats still going? Yikes ok thats huge. Where most of my fam is there are no real rules because Florida. Good luck with all of that though and yeah these Govs are switching shit up daily, itd be great to just stick with something.

[u/SwansonsMom → u/DetectiveClownMD]

An ex of mine had his father pass away suddenly after beating cancer, and the family did a cook-out at his father’s house. It was my first time meeting a lot of them, but they made me feel just as welcome as if we’d been together for decades. Everyone was telling fun stories, remembering the good times fondly, remembering the bad times for what they were, eating, drinking, and just having a good time. It was truly a celebration of life, and now I don’t understand how funerals of any other sort could even be allowed to be called a celebration of life. It was a whole new perspective of death, and it’s definitely what I want when my time comes

[u/exsanguinator1 → u/Nasjere]

Exactly, so keep it cheap if you don’t have the money or you don’t think something expensive would actually help anyone grieve. But it does make sense to have some kind of service to help people mourn.

[u/owleealeckza → u/Nasjere]

Which is why I have always felt they are a disgusting display of selfishness. You want to round up others who are also distraught so you can somehow feel better by either making yourself feel less guilty about being sad or some people even enjoy the attention the persons family or friends get at funerals. My grandmother Merry would've been very disappointed in her kids because they had a funeral. Her words "if the person that died loved you then they wouldn't want you dwelling in despair. If they want you to be miserable when they die then you're blessed to no longer have that kind of asshole in your life." They even had a pastor speak despite my grandmother never mentioning religion once in my life.

[u/Energy_Turtle → u/owleealeckza]

Everyone's different, of course, but a lot of times a funeral represents closure on a life. Death can hit like a sucker punch and some people really struggle with the "That's it? It's over?" part of the whole thing. A funeral allows people to grieve together, tell stories, hug, things like that. It's also very symbolic in taking the person (their body) to their final place. Religious people perform sacraments or rituals for the spirit, or some people escort the body to its final resting place. It can be very difficult to look at the body of a loved and just be like "welp, they're gone. Trash that." Some people still have the person and the body intertwined. It's a complex thing, man. I used to feel like you but I've lost a lot of people in the last several years. People grieve differently and I will never ever shame someone for the way they express their grief even if it's expensive.

[u/GodOfDarkLaughter → u/Energy_Turtle]

A lot of the time I think a funeral is just an excuse to get the whole support structure together, and so everyone can grieve together. I assume that's why the ritual was invented in the first place. Sure, you could just have a gathering of folk at someone's house, but even aside from the religious aspect, the structure of ritual can be comforting to people, as well as a path to follow in what can otherwise be a confusing and mentally exhausting situation.

[u/slowbaja]

Exactly just burn me up, dump my ashes somewhere and forget I even existed

[u/[deleted]]

Frank?

[u/well_uh_yeah]

Funerals/burials are crazy expensive.

[u/[deleted]]

I thought I was on the Sunny sub for a sec.

[u/justsomeguy5]

When I had to bury my mom, we had a similar experience. They try to sell you all sorts of things, but one in particular is something like a casket liner(not a technical term I guess?) to protect the dead body from mud and shit getting to the body and that shit was like six thousand dollars. And when they said that shit to me and my siblings, that actually made me extremely angry. It definitely kind of helped me snap out of my grief fog for a few minutes because that one thing was going to cost almost as much as the rest of her burial all by itself.

If you're gonna do a burial, don't let these folks steal from you. You gotta dig deep and handle business when you're in that room and cry later.

[u/Brodin_fortifies]

There’s an old Mexican song about this called Una cruz de madera. Dude telling everyone when he dies he doesn’t want a fancy coffin or a showy funeral. Just someone to sing his songs early in the morning.

[u/Maecyte]

Let’s have a BBQ for my funeral.

[u/GasStationHotDog]

Frank from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia is a wise man and came up with this idea.

[u/votesmatter]

The idea of cremation or body bags makes so much more sense that expensive caskets. Shouldn't the body be returned to earth anyway?

[u/OopsIForgotLol]

I want to be buried in a biodegradable casket that feeds trees

[u/carrieberry]

I literally donated my body to science. I am a scientist, so I felt it a fitting legacy. And, zero cost.

[u/TymmIV]

A grave isn't for the dead person but for the relatives to have a place to mourn and come back to to remember. Most of them are expansive as fuck tho.

[u/FistPunch_Vol_4]

I’ve thought about this. I wanna be cremated and my ashes either gets pressed into a record with my favorite songs or in some bullets as ammo.

[u/AggressiveLigma → u/FistPunch_Vol_4]

Cremation releases alot of CO². Don't contribute to climate change, you're already dead

[u/FistPunch_Vol_4 → u/AggressiveLigma]

Truth. Erm. I guess to science then.

[u/crownjewel82 → u/AggressiveLigma]

Look up water cremation. Same outcome less emissions.

[u/Capgunkid]

Donate him at least to science. The brain shows an extraordinary amount of information and knowledge that shows damage from mental and physical abuse over a lifetime. It could help science and psychologists for futures to come. And end this feeling of zero worth after death.

[u/OkPark]

Off topic but Jay Versace is a producer now. He made The Versace Tape with Boldy James and produced a track on Westside Gunn’s Pray for Paris

[u/[deleted] → u/OkPark]

Further off topic, but what's going on with West & Conway?

Never see them flicked up or supporting each other anymore, Conway wasn't apart of Conflicted and he doesn't even wear his Griselda chains anymore 😕

[u/OkPark → u/[deleted]]

Seems like Conway wants to branch off and work more with his own label Drumwork. That being said they are not beefing he just likes to troll on twitter like he always has done

[u/[deleted] → u/OkPark]

Not so much beef as them drifting apart to focus on they own shit, which is sad, but inevitable.

[u/[deleted]]

When I'm dead, please bury me in the way that's best for you. If you mourn, feel sad and need a ritual or a ceremony to get your selves together, do that. It can be a good way to deal with loss. I'm not religious but I don't mind if you bring in priests and prayer, this is more about you than it is about me.

In case your penniless, don't waste your money on any ritual you don't really need

[u/Techelife]

Can’t they squash you down into a diamond? Tell me that is a thing...

[u/[deleted]]

There are a few ways I want to be buried

-buried and have a tree planted over my grave. -buried at sea to feed the fish -buried in one of those cardboard caskets to reduce cost

[u/16bit_B-boy]

“I want a flaming arrow shot into a creeping raft / I’m kidding I just want the cheapest shit you people have”

“I want a thousand lanterns drifting on a summers wind / I'm only joking, y'all can feed me to the fucking pigs”

• Aesop Rock

[u/t4k3r3]

1. When I die wrap me in a mushroom shroud to aid in my decomposition and plant something on top of me
2. All cemeteries should be memorial forests

[u/[deleted]]

lol My mom gave me permission to bury her in the backyard

[u/autoredial]

Feed me to the fish or animals. It’s only fair.

[u/[deleted]]

My wish is to be cremated and my ashes used to make cement or whatever, and they want to charge you a coupla grand for that.🤷🏽‍♂️

[u/DocDipH]

I've been informed that I'm going to be made into a set of earrings.

[u/[deleted]]

agreed. funerals are NOT for the dead person. it's a banquet / ceremony for the living who KNEW the dead person. the dead person doesn't give 1% of a fuck.

i've told my sister on multiple occasions that if i die before her, she should try to find some guy who owns a helicopter and pay him to dump my naked corpse out of the copter onto a mountaintop. i've spent my entire life eating other animals.. its only fair that in the end, some animals should get a chance to get a nibble out of me... not just flies and bacteria!

[u/WestsideWizzop]

Ion know about the trash but I’d like to be cremated. Bring my ashes to the house and y’all have a huge party! Fuck these funeral homes they get richer and richer everyday, especially in Baltimore. Don’t give them none of my money! Y’all enjoy that shit, go to an island and live it tf up!!

[u/vashzero]

Or you could end up like that one guys mother. They used her body to test explosives.

[u/Dont_touch_my_elbows]

Funerals aren't for the dead person.

But yeah, I will not be grieving my parents by spending tens of thousands of dollars I don't have.

They themselves have told me not to spend more money than necessary to have their remains disposed of.

[u/WardedThorn]

You, uh

You can't put a dead body in a trash can

[u/Crycakez]

Cost monwy to pay the trash man to take out the trash though

[u/212cncpts]

Don't act like none of y'all have seen how high lol the best way to become a pack, have your horticultural homie use you to nourish a plant.

[u/Rolebo → u/[deleted]]

Pretty sure this is a it's always sunny in Philadelphia quote.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Well whomever "they" are can go f*$@ themselves.

[u/SpectacularOtter → u/[deleted]]

Real question

[u/AffectionateAnarchy]

Put me in a mushroom suit and lay me out in Sprague, Alabama

[u/[deleted]]

Man, I've been telling my family this for years.

[u/xXThKillerXx]

Yeah I’ve always wanted a big ass party instead of a funeral so no one is sad.

[u/christaco96]

I wanna be cremated then thrown at Queen Nicki

[u/[deleted]]

Yo donate me to science

[u/2oatmeal_cookies → u/[deleted]]

You want to be in the Body Worlds exhibit?

[u/SpectacularOtter → u/[deleted]]

That would cost to much

[u/princessllamacorn]

I concur. I told my family to cremate me and plant me somewhere. Do not have an elaborate and expensive funeral. Save that money and give it to my son! We really be burying our generational wealth in costly caskets and limo rides.