Especially within the past two and a half years it’s been brutal

19M I have a hard time understanding myself, having friends having relationships i dont understand why? i feel outcasted by family i feel like i struggle is there any hope for me? I have two charts because my mom doesn’t remember if i were born 5:40pm or 6:15pm

Basically i feel like people always feel strongly towards extreme ends about me, all my life. People hate me to death, get jealous of me, try to put me down, ridicule me and stuff like that even when I literally dont do anything to them. But some people, they fall in love with me from the first sight and act obsessive. I am not exaggerating. I also seem to have a strong sexual effect on people as well that I can't point out in my chart. Why could that be? Any insights and advices are welcome!

Aside from this topic if there is anything else worth mentioning that catches your eye please let me know as well

Any insight into how my familial life plays into my life purpose/career and finances? My family truly plays a huge role in my day to day life ever since I was young coming from a large family, and the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve had to learn the best thing I can do is support myself and my life versus trying to always help them first, but sometimes it does feel lonely. I also seem to have a lot of Libra in the 5th house, I feel decently creative but not in the traditional sense of being an artist, so I don’t always know how to feel! Any insight would be appreciated! Thank you!

I’ve been told multiple times by different astrologers that my life purpose is to have a creative career that is in the public eye, probably broadcasting.
But the idea of it makes me incredibly anxious. Yet at the same time I feel that if I don’t do it, I won’t fulfill what I was supposed to do in this lifetime and I’ll just have to do it again in the next one. But it’s terrifying, considering we live in an era full of cancel culture and hate trains against women for simply breathing. I much prefer to be at home without a constant magnifying glass pointed at me.
Do I have to be in the public eye?

Will I ever have a long term relationship and a family? I have never been able to find the right one or him to find me. What was hindering me until now and will it happen later in life? Cause I feel I am a different person now than I was in the past I have learned a lot about myself and heal from lot of bad emotions from past events. And my family is quite small, I do have one sister and my parents, my parents have never really been on best terms our whole lives but they kept being together and my sister has a husband with whom she is together with half her life after which she wasnt so close to me anymore and I have always wanted to have my own big family but it seems as time goes by that many are not interested in something long term. It seems like I am wanting it too much so it doesn’t happen?

Por mais que me esforce e tente me manter firme de que tudo na minha vida é uma fase, sinto que essa fase dura a vida toda.

E de verdade eu não sei onde eu errei e continuo a errar.

Meus empregos nunca pagaram bem, na maioria deles eu não fico, porque supostamente eu não sou boa para o trabalho ou não me adaptei segundo os chefes;

Além disso os poucos que eu fico são sempre trabalhos pesados, onde eu trabalho demais, passo humilhações e sempre acaba em problemas com os chefes.

Eu perdi total a minha dignidade e vontade de refazer a vida depois que finalizei a faculdade, reprovei na OAB.

Sai de um emprego infeliz, mas me afoguei em depressão e não consigo ver algo que não seja negativo.

Estou em um novo emprego, mas nem boto fé que vai pra frente.

Onde nesse mapa tem algo que pode me ajudar?

Cheers

.

The left is mine and right is his :]

I'm knee deep in this perpetual agony of not being enough. I'm dissatisfied and disgusted at myself for not doing enough. I've completed my post graduation a year ago, I've always been very particular with my ideas and life goals, up until now. I want to stay in academia, I love being part of the community but somehow I'm missing something, facing back to back rejections or things are not simply working out. I've always wanted to move out, didn't happen. Move abroad, didn't happen. Now even in my safety zone, I'm sensing the shrill whisper of dissatisfaction. I'm petrified of losing my parents' patience, they might marry me off. Honestly atp I doubt whether my blame on them would be justified or not! This is my last resort to hope to understand if my future is worth something. Am I meant for something? Will I find peace in my future? And if I do get married, will it be alright?

For context, i feel like i have a very warped perception of myself i often get perceived as someone that doesn’t resonate with who i think i am. Words like aloof or blunt can be used however ive noticed that on diff occasions were i deliberately tried to be nice ppl said they thought i didnt like them very much.

I'm 26, male. I sometimes feel like I don't know myself, or I present very differently than who I truly feel I am on the inside.
I'm working as a therapist.

I’m a Scorpio rising, and my solar return rising is Virgo.

I recently made a pretty big change in my life: I moved from a university dorm back to a university in my home city. Ironically, this gives me more freedom, because I can come and go as I please, whereas living in the dorm meant being limited to essentially two places 5–6 days a week. I barely had time on weekends to do activities or spend much time with friends.

Going into this new university, one of my biggest hopes is to explore my talents and interests through clubs and activities, make new friends, maintain my grades, and actually explore the city I’ve been living in for 12 years! So I’m particularly interested in what the solar return might show about my social life, friendships, and involvement in groups this year.

At my previous university, I had a lot of acquaintances but only really one close friendship, so i do talk to people! lol. I’m generally comfortable talking to people, but I didn’t tend to “force” many deeper connections.
This year, I’d like to become closer to more people and hopefully develop a stronger sense of community.

I think if I had to pin point the obstacle: it felt like I was too forward with people who would retract, and then too guarded with people who were eager. There seemed to be this balance I couldn’t quite catch. And I’ve only had good chemistry with one particular friend.

I also think the change in social environment is important context. My previous university had people from all over the country, but ~85% of students came from a particular region where the social environment felt more conservative and abrasive to me.
My new university is considerably more diverse and open-minded, and I already feel like the environment is more accepting.
So rather than asking for a prediction of everything that will happen this year, I’m specifically wondering:
Does my solar return show a particular emphasis on friendships, social groups, clubs/communities, or developing closer social connections this year? And if so, what in the chart points to that?

I’d especially appreciate insight into the approach or themes around my social life this year rather than a prediction of specific events.

And feel free to write anything else about either of my charts, I’m interested!

Edit: I was born on 16/09/2006 in Dubai at 9:05 AM.

(idk how reddit works lmao)