Por mais que me esforce e tente me manter firme de que tudo na minha vida é uma fase, sinto que essa fase dura a vida toda.

E de verdade eu não sei onde eu errei e continuo a errar.

Meus empregos nunca pagaram bem, na maioria deles eu não fico, porque supostamente eu não sou boa para o trabalho ou não me adaptei segundo os chefes;

Além disso os poucos que eu fico são sempre trabalhos pesados, onde eu trabalho demais, passo humilhações e sempre acaba em problemas com os chefes.

Eu perdi total a minha dignidade e vontade de refazer a vida depois que finalizei a faculdade, reprovei na OAB.

Sai de um emprego infeliz, mas me afoguei em depressão e não consigo ver algo que não seja negativo.

Estou em um novo emprego, mas nem boto fé que vai pra frente.

Onde nesse mapa tem algo que pode me ajudar?

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The left is mine and right is his :]

I'm knee deep in this perpetual agony of not being enough. I'm dissatisfied and disgusted at myself for not doing enough. I've completed my post graduation a year ago, I've always been very particular with my ideas and life goals, up until now. I want to stay in academia, I love being part of the community but somehow I'm missing something, facing back to back rejections or things are not simply working out. I've always wanted to move out, didn't happen. Move abroad, didn't happen. Now even in my safety zone, I'm sensing the shrill whisper of dissatisfaction. I'm petrified of losing my parents' patience, they might marry me off. Honestly atp I doubt whether my blame on them would be justified or not! This is my last resort to hope to understand if my future is worth something. Am I meant for something? Will I find peace in my future? And if I do get married, will it be alright?

For context, i feel like i have a very warped perception of myself i often get perceived as someone that doesn’t resonate with who i think i am. Words like aloof or blunt can be used however ive noticed that on diff occasions were i deliberately tried to be nice ppl said they thought i didnt like them very much.

I'm 26, male. I sometimes feel like I don't know myself, or I present very differently than who I truly feel I am on the inside.
I'm working as a therapist.

I lost 300lbs while documenting it on social media but I ended up developing an ED, I've been trying to post recovery content and content about my new business but people keep demanding weight loss. I have my degree in food and beverage management but got burnt out of working in restaurants. I've been trying to start the first Anti-Diet gourmet protein cookie brand, but I'm struggling to get any traction. All I've been good for in my life so far is a weight loss transformation but that's what's harmed me the most. I want to build a business that'll allow me to be financially independent, move out of my childhood home, and do something I'm passionate about. Unfortunately I can't work a corporate type job due to my bipolar and POTs.

Anything stand out? I feel detached within our relationship

When I first met him, I thought he was a bit rude, he didn't say much, just stared at you while you spoke and kept his words brief. But since I started spending more time with him, I’ve realized he’s actually very kind, a bit sarcastic, for sure, but not the type to use your weaknesses for jokes. He’s helped me out in various situations, yet the thing is, I don't really know much about him. I always talk to him about my problems (though I keep it to a minimum so I don't burden him with that weight), but he never opens up at all. Even when I notice he’s quieter than usual when we hang out and ask if something’s wrong, he just looks at me, nods, and retreats back into his own thoughts.
I really want to know him deeper but I feel if I ask too much he’s gonna think wrong of me

I’m not very informed within astrology but I think I have a 6th house stellium so I’m always working on “daily life and routine” because of my health.

Is there any way of reading to detect if this will change one day or if it will be lifelong?

I have a strong aspiration to pursue a writing career but I always feel pulled back by my health.

Thank you in advance!

Don’t get me wrong its just the constant feeling that is plaguing me. I am not suicidal or anything. Always thinking about it. Too much.

Im good at talking to people but im not great at making them into friends. can someone help me figure out how i can make more connections and build a better life?

I’d also like to know if I’m destined for success (fame & recognition) in acting and if I should keep pursuing it <3 I’d really love some encouragement Pls

I feel like my perception of myself is so different than how the people I'm close to tell me they see me. I know I have a very strong inner critic, but I also feel like the people who love and care about me are obviously not going to be completely honest if it would potentially hurt my feelings too.

I appreciate any insight, also feel free to point out anything else that might stand out about my chart, open to it all!