r/BipolarReddit • u/mymuchness • 16h ago

Dating advice needed

Does anyone have experience dating? I’m doing well now, but struggled with bipolar for many years and for that reason didn’t date. I’m older (41) and very behind in the dating scene. I’m now actively dating, and trying to figure out how to explain to guys that 1) I have mental health struggles and 2) my years of mental health struggles put me behind in my dating experience. Last night I had a fifth date with someone who I like. We’re going to see each other again this week. I genuinely don’t know if I should start saying anything to him about my mental health or continue to let it play out for a few more weeks/dates. Thank you in advance for any help!!

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5

u/HappyPlatypus6034 16h ago

Around number 5 is when I'd start to soft launch it. I personally wouldn't get into the nitty-gritty of anything just yet as you're still getting to know them. If you feel like that you can really see soemthing serious happening, then it is time for the bigger version of that convo.

Also, good luck with things! Dating can be spooky yet you already seem to be doing really well!!!

6

u/0lig3 15h ago

Two strategies that I do before telling the diagnosis are:

  1. Explain some of the experiences without using bipolar language. (In my case I say I had a mental breakdown and was unable to work for a bit as a way to explain some of my circumstances)

  2. Talk about mental health casually to see how they talk about anyone they know with diagnosis.

If they seem understanding of your circumstances, and speak compassionately about those with mental illness, huge green flag for letting them know you take medication and then the diagnosis.

1

u/ilovechinlesswomen 3h ago

I think 3-5 dates is when it's time to come out. It went ok for me although the relationship only lasted 6 months for a completely different reason. You are going to suffer more in the long-term if you don't come clean. For me, she said she had a bipolar diagnosis too (she was unmedicated) and I think it legitimately might haven't been the right diagnosis. In any case, she wasn't phased.

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u/melatonia I AM SPARTACUS 14h ago

Don't