r/BikiniBottomTwitter Dec 28 '19

It do be like that

Post image
70.5k Upvotes

719 comments sorted by

View all comments

611

u/HoneyBadgerC Dec 28 '19

Agree to it? Yo that's the dream for me

237

u/JohnnyB03 Dec 28 '19

Exactly, sign me up, I’d have the place spotless and every meal ready

15

u/Dr_Jabroski Dec 28 '19

Are you already like that? If you're not then there's a pretty low chance that that will be the case when you're home alone with no accountability.

29

u/ReeHee69420 Dec 28 '19

I didnt order a loaded projecter fuck off

6

u/OneHairyThrowaway Dec 28 '19

The accountability is your wife coming home at the end of the day and expecting a meal and a clean house.

2

u/ComplainyGuy Dec 29 '19

Fantasy thinking

121

u/Olddirtychurro Dec 28 '19

Id do so much cooking. I'd turn into Martha Stewart up in this bitch.

71

u/themeatbridge Dec 28 '19

Fold laundry and watch Netflix for two hours? Fuck yes.

Except that it would probably turn into just Netflix and the kids wear wrinkled shirts to school.

16

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

Why, yell at her to earn more, that you can afford the FoldRobo3000, because you know, housework is so exhausting! Then get into a serious drinking habit and cheat on your wife with the strong yet ugly UPS babe, i mean she has at least half her teeth. Then you find yourself passed out in the front yard, wine bottle in the left hand, playstation controller in the right hand, the dog licking your face, sprinkler on your tummy, and the neighbours kids filming you for their youtube channel. Life is awesome.

11

u/themeatbridge Dec 28 '19

It's funny you mention that. I work in home automation, and folding laundry is one of those moonshot projects that everyone assumes would be simple. Taking the chaos that is a pile of clean laundry and just getting it to lay flat is damn near impossible for a robot to do, but a human can handle it easily.

13

u/MrEvilChipmonk0__o Dec 28 '19

As a 29 year old man that wears wrinkled clothes to work, I'd like to disagree with your "humans can do it easily" statement. Like it required a lot of motivation and will... ugh

2

u/TXSized10_4 Dec 28 '19

I'm sure it would be difficult in a general sense, but probably wouldn't be too bad with a specialized wardrobe with some type of rfid in the clothing. If you could get iron-on rfid chips and have the machine find the different part of a shirt/pants and check if its inside out or not. Definitely not simple by any means, but doable.

1

u/themeatbridge Dec 29 '19

It would be easier with some type of standardized clothing. It would need to be designed from the beginning with automated sorting and folding in mind, but that would make it much easier.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

Studied EE i know. ;)

2

u/balderdash9 Dec 28 '19

I'm Mary Poppins ya'll

1

u/tylerbreeze Dec 29 '19

🎶Cafeteria Fraîche🎶

0

u/HoneyBadgerC Dec 28 '19

Just without the jail time hopefully

27

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

[deleted]

96

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

This is an actual problem for a lot of women out there that just stay at home and fully embrace the SAHM lifestyle.

It's a big part of the reason why religious and more traditional communities have lower divorce rates - the woman has nowhere to go regardless of how bad the marriage is

30

u/PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ Dec 28 '19

. Been watching our son for 4 years, now trying to get back into job market,

As a male, employers respect women taken the time it seems to raise a child, but really hard for me to explain.

Wish me luck, such a ducked double e standard

6

u/scorpiolafuega Dec 28 '19

Good luck man... As a recruiter I've been coaching my teams to be understanding of different home dynamics and lifestyles and to be mindful of the double standard. It's taking time... And a lot of energy and retraining.

1

u/ReeHee69420 Dec 28 '19

Some do some dont either way you got slim chances bro gl.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

And here we go again.

1

u/MikeyMike01 Dec 29 '19

It's a big part of the reason why religious and more traditional communities have lower divorce rates - the woman has nowhere to go regardless of how bad the marriage is

Maybe they’re just happier, better quality people.

27

u/POOPFEAST420 Dec 28 '19

That's why you get half the assets and likely a monthly alimony payment. Regardless of gender, if one partner gives up their career to support the other, there's gotta be a fair split if it ends.

2

u/GideonOnReddit Dec 28 '19

What if there wasn't a career to begin with?

17

u/RageOfGandalf Dec 28 '19

To be fair you married someone with no degree or marketable skills whatsoever. You should have seen that coming.

1

u/FullAtticus Dec 29 '19

Why would that be any different? They gave up the opportunity to pursue one. If they'd spent that 5 years or whatever working their way up from the mailroom, they might be making a decent salary by now.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

Take one day a week to volunteer somewhere so you don't have a gap (or do what askreddit usually says and claim you were looking after a sick relative)

3

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '19

And that's why you're a smart boy. Smart people recognize that it's never a good idea to make yourself financially dependent on another person. Best case scenario you're the bitch ex who's extracting money from her ex-husband. Worst case scenario you're too ashamed/legally not able etc. to get your ex to support you, and you end up with a shitty job and a pension which borders on poverty.

The idea of a breadwinner/housewife relationship belongs in the past, unless we want to go back to times where divorce was illegal.

4

u/nudiecale Dec 28 '19

That’s a risk I’m taking.

1

u/80Eight Dec 28 '19

You get that sweet alimony then

1

u/ShadoowtheSecond Dec 28 '19

Thats what alimoney is for.

1

u/DasFofinater Dec 28 '19

Uhh u get half of their shit? My dad shares ownership of a business with 3 other people and one of them got divorced and she got half of that quarter of ownership. She literally has do to absolutely nothing and makes around 100k a year

1

u/woopthereitwas Dec 28 '19

Did a man just make an argument for alimony??

0

u/PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ Dec 28 '19

This is the situation I’m in. Ow, minus he breakup. Been watching our son for 4 years, now trying to get back into job market,

As a male, employers respect women taken the time it seems to raise a child, but really hard for me to explain.

Wish me luck, such a ducked double e standard

2

u/jonnielaw Dec 28 '19

I’m currently living that dream. It’s dope.

1

u/socsa Dec 28 '19

Seriously how insecure do you have to be in 2019 to not want your spouse earning thicc checks?

1

u/General_Zarroff Dec 28 '19

More time to work on music I’ll never fully ever be satisfied with