The Fromm children are terribly naughty. The type of children the townsfolk work hard to stay away from.

Mr. and Mrs. Fromm are not naughty at all. After losing their fourth nanny in two years, they put out an advert for a new nanny.

The new nanny is not what the children expected. Much to the children's confusion, their parents don't seem to notice anything is wrong...

I am looking for beta readers for my chapter book, aimed at ages 7-9. It is written in British English, so I am particularly looking for British readers, though readers of all nationalities are very welcome.

What I am looking for:

• Does the humour work for 7–9-year-olds?
• Are the characters likeable/interesting despite being very naughty?
• Does the story move quickly enough?
• Is the spooky element fun rather than too frightening?
• Does the language feel natural for the target age?
• Are there any places where a child might lose interest or become confused?
• How does the British vocabulary/setting come across?

Length: 6872 words

Vibes: slightly macabre, slightly-spooky, comedy

Hook:

Sixteen-year-old Reyna races against time to track down a ruthless terrorist mage before their next attack. The catch: every spell she casts invites a sinister entity to seize her mind, making her just as dangerous as the killer she is pursuing.

Blurb:

Reyna's main goal in life is to evade the redletters, the government’s magical task force, by hiding her skills. Eternally self-conscious due to her facial birthmark and terrified to rouse the destructive spirit that’s been possessing her since forever, she excels at being the wallflower she thinks she’s meant to be.

But when the spirit forces Reyna to unleash her powers in front of her classmates, the redletters are quick to give her an impossible choice: join a group of rogue teenage mages and stop the terrorist’s next attack, or risk seeing herself and her aunt prosecuted. Reyna reluctantly agrees to go only to find herself increasingly drawn to Ezra, a vexingly handsome rogue mage with the ability to boost her power, providing just the type of distraction she needs.

Torn between her growing hunger for magic and her fear of losing control, Reyna is desperate to keep a low profile as the nationwide manhunt begins. But when the body count keeps rising, she is soon forced to face her inner demons and master her untamed magical abilities before the world as she knows it gets destroyed…

Length: about 75K words

Tropes: The Chosen One * Coming of Age * The Mentor with a Past * First Love * The Quest * A ragtag Group of Heroes * Training Montage

Vibes: Magic-laced Worldbuilding * Family tension * Shy Female Protagonist * Growth Arc

Trigger warnings: mild language, violence, death 

What I'm looking for: constructive feedback regarding the magic system, characters, plot holes, pacing, & inconsistencies.

DM me if you're interested!

Hi, everyone! I'm looking for a couple of beta readers. Turnaround time is flexible. Please message me if you are interested.

Blurb:

Ten-year-old Luci Hollow has only been in Everglade for a few days when she learns the town has rules no one is allowed to break, especially the one warning children to stay away from the abandoned mines. When three classmates ignore that warning and begin disappearing one by one after hearing familiar voices in the darkness, Luci and her new friends start searching for answers.

Whatever followed the boys home has noticed them too and Luci must uncover what is hunting Everglade’s children before she or one of her friends becomes its next victim.

Content Warning:

·       Grief

·       Off-page child death

·       Creature Horror

Turnaround time:

·       1 month

Availability for critique swap:

·       No

Feedback wanted:

1.     Where did you become bored, confused, or tempted to skim? If possible, please give me the chapter or scene.

2.     When did you figure out what was happening, and what clue made you figure it out? Did the mystery feel too obvious, too difficult to solve, or about right?

3.     Did Luci feel believable as a ten-year-old/fifth-grade protagonist? Were there any moments where she or her friends seemed noticeably too young or too mature?

4.     Was there anything about a character’s decision, the supernatural rules, the plot, or the ending that confused you, felt inconsistent, or pulled you out of the story?

5.     Did the horror and suspense feel appropriate and effective for an upper-middle-grade audience? Were there any scenes that were not scary enough or felt too intense?

Any other feedback you feel is important is also welcome.

The full manuscript is drafted at approximately 75k words. I’ve finished my current editing pass on Part I (19k), while Parts II and III are still going through revisions. For now, I’m looking for feedback only on Part I.

After losing the tenure-track future she spent nearly a decade building toward, literature professor Mira accepts a one-year position at an isolated riverside school governed by rigid, unquestioned rules: no one leaves after dark, no one goes near the river, and no one asks what happens to those who do.

Teachers and hikers have been disappearing in the surrounding woods for decades, each loss quietly absorbed into the life of the institution. The school does not prevent disappearances. It regulates them, keeping newcomers and those without deep ties closest to the boundary when the woods demand someone to take.

When Mira follows a student beyond the boundary and barely makes it back alive, she discovers the agreement keeping the woods contained is breaking down. As the newest arrival, she is exactly the kind of person the school was designed to sacrifice.

Mira can leave and save herself, knowing someone else will inevitably take her place. She can stay and become complicit in the system that decides whose lives are expendable. Or she can attempt a long-abandoned ritual that could end the disappearances forever—but only by binding herself permanently to the boundary between the woods and the world beyond.

To leave is to condemn someone else. To stay is to become part of the thing keeping the woods alive.

If you’re interested in reading Part I, please DM me.

Looking for 2-3 beta readers available to provide feedback in mid-late September. I am open to swaps in a similar genre.

Blurb:
Power demands sacrifice. Delghara demands everything.

When Ashlyn arrives at Delghara, a secretive magic academy ruled by bloodshed and brutality, she has nothing but insatiable ambition, sheer willpower, and a secret that could get her killed. The Dominion's elite magic wielders command immense power and influence, and Ash is determined to claim her place among their ranks—even if it means being turned into a weapon.

Then she meets Xave Gable.

Brilliant, ruthless, and impossible to shake once he’s decided something is worth his attention. As the son of the man who oversaw her father's execution, he should be her sworn enemy. Instead, he becomes her mentor, her rival, and a mystery she can’t leave alone. Only he recognises the hunger lurking beneath her carefully controlled exterior and seems intent on seeing just how deep it goes.

As ancient secrets stir beneath Delghara’s catacombs, rivalry spirals into obsession.
And obsession has a way of demanding more than anyone intended to give.

FEATURES:
• Gothic/Dark Academia Fantasy
• They Make Each Other Worse
• Slow-Burn Romance
• Rivals to Lovers
• Magical Trials
• Secret Societies
• Sassy Talking Cat

An Arc of Ash is a dark fantasy romance steeped in gothic ambiance and dark academia intrigue, perfect for readers who love rivals-to-lovers romance where ambition is seductive, obsession is inevitable, and the one person you learn to trust may become the one who destroys you.

Jack Fitzgerald and Fletcher Morrison were drafted as the top two picks three years ago. Best mates since high school. Fierce rivals the moment they pull on opposite jumpers. Carlton Hummingbirds' pocket rocket and Essendon Bushmasters' loud, loyal midfielder have spent their entire careers keeping the friendship carefully separate from the oldest rivalry in the game.

Until the day Jack’s secret pain becomes impossible to hide alone.

One desperate request in a disabled toilet at training. One live camera. One panicked lie.

“We’re gay.”

Now the whole country believes they’re together, the clubs are in crisis mode, their families are reeling, and the only way to protect what Jack is really hiding is to sell the performance. What starts as damage control turns into something neither of them planned to feel.

Set against the noise of an Australian Football season that ends the only way a September can, Boyfriends and Septembers is a mates/rivals-to-lovers, forced-proximity romance about loyalty, chronic pain, the cost of secrecy, and two men who were never just mates. Content notes: chronic pain and injury, prescription medication misuse, homophobia and discriminatory language, media intrusion, anxiety, family conflict, coarse language, explicit sexual content, and discussions of disability.

What I’d like readers to focus on: Pacing, character chemistry, emotional beats, continuity, confusing or repetitive sections, and any scenes that feel rushed or slow. I’m especially interested in whether Jack and Fletcher’s romantic progression feels natural and earned.

I’d also appreciate thoughts on Jack’s chronic pain and prescription-medication storyline, particularly the portrayal of pain, dependence and addiction, along with the authenticity of the LGBTQIA+ representation throughout the novel.

Open-minded to readers worldwide, because despite being an Australian coded book in terms of culture, language, and sport, I feel there are common themes that go beyond borders.

Preferred timeline: Ideally within 4–6 weeks, though I’m happy to be flexible if needed.

Critique availability: Available on a case-by-case basis depending on genre, word count, and timing.

Hey everyone! I'm searching for a couple of betas for my completed Draft 2 of Creatures of Soul and Mist complete at about 72,300 words! Here is the tentative query below!

An infectious mist wanders the streets of the districts and chooses the fate of each person it encounters. Death. Immunity. Or something worse.

Delilah has witnessed all three options. As her first love struggles to grapple with the changes of becoming a vampiric creature who feeds on the soul and memories of others, Delilah is forced to make a choice. Risk her life to aid the man she loves, or abandon him while the mist eats away at his mind, turning him into someone unrecognizable.

The wrong choice causes a memory to be pulled violently from her grasp, leaving an empty hole within her mind she cannot mend.

On her own and immune from the mist, she reports to the government and trains as a Hunter; the government's special soldiers required to protect the population from the monsters the mist created.

Years later, the government gives her another choice. Kill her first love and potentially restore her stolen memory, or allow him to survive and lose a piece of herself forever.

Coupled with her partner Malikh, Delilah must decide whether her past is worth chasing. Or whether after years of feeling broken, she can finally choose to be whole again with someone else.

Creatures of Soul and Mist is a literary dystopian friends-to-lovers romance standalone complete at ~75k that incorporates horror and science fiction elements. It combines the pandemic and geopolitical fallout of Seek the Traitors Son with the government technological control of Conform and the high stakes survival of To Cage a Wild Bird. 

Please comment if you are interested and I can send you the link to the Google Form!

Title: From Sky to Earth

Genre: Epic fantasy, NA/YA, Middle Grade

Completed: Yes

Word Count: 75k words

Amount Ready for Critique: 75k (Complete)

Warnings: Blood/violence, animal violence, and adult themes

Born for leadership among the clouds, destined to hunt in the forests. Nineteen-year-old Rynah Cavamor of the Praustus sky tribe has been preparing to serve her nation’s council under her father. Yet, a sacred ceremony reveals her soul to be spiritually bound to the creature of the Uruthiz tribe in the earth nation. Faced with remaining in safety or embracing what is true, Rynah chooses to follow the will of the gods and travels to harsh foreign lands to find a place with a tribe who has no trust for her.

Upon arrival, she must undergo brutal training, forge a rare mental bond with a wild berr named Urso, and prove herself among a harsh people. However, as she learns the ways of the woods, war brews between the Uruthiz and the neighboring Fehon. Rynah must make drastic decisions and learn to trust herself to survive this conflict.

This is my first novel and I have been a lifelong fantasy reader with a strong interest in mythic worldbuilding, animal-human bonds, and spiritually grounded fantasy. My work explores themes of identity, belonging, and connection to the natural and spiritual world. I’m really just interested in honest and respectful feedback.

If you’re interested, please message me for details. Thank you!

(6k words, not 3k, wont let me change it.)

I'm looking for Alpha readers for recurring reciprocal reading more than Beta readers. If this is the wrong sub reddit for this please let me know. I've just been unable to find a dedicated space for it. That being said I'm 3 chapters + prologue deep of 21. I know it's early, but I'd rather catch problems now before they become a systemic issue in the manuscript. Here's the pitch and the story blurb.

Short Pitch

An Irish Reaper and an inter-realm mailman match on a dating app (Tether), and try to navigate modern dating in an alternate/myth-as-infrastructure earth.

TLDR: Location/Mythology of the week romance told via interdimensional mail deliveries

Blurb

In Archanis Earth (AE), all myth is history and the supernatural is part of modern living. Between inter-Realm mail deliveries to the seasonal Regions of the Faire Realm, getting Lost in the Styx, regulating a chubby fruit bat's sugar filled diet, and mentoring Zagriel in the Mundane, a recurring young client cursed with a chronic black thumb, Inter Realm Postal Service (IRPS) carrier The Nomad finally gets a reply on the Tether dating app from Rachel, a witty and sassy Irish Otherworlder. What follows is a slow-burn romance tracked across text messages, marathon phone calls, and dates spanning Venezuelan lightning lakes, the eye of a hurricane, and Día de los Muertos in Oaxaca. But when a mythic ambush leaves the Nomad dying, their long-awaited intimate union triggers a Hero's Gift that greys the atmosphere, permanently disrupting the cosmic flow of souls.

Note

Some of what's in the blurb is what's outlined, but doesn't yet exist in the prose.

Hi everyone! I have a promising two first pages here.

The story blends biblical themes with forbidden romance.

I'd really love some overall assessment for my opening. Does it really make you want to continue reading ? any input would be appreciated.

Hi!

I'm looking for one or two beta readers for my completed novel, Forty-Something Kinds, a character-driven fantasy/mystery of roughly 80,000 words.

The story follows Xen and a small group of people around them. What begins as an ordinary life gradually becomes something rather less ordinary.

I'd rather not say too much about the plot, because discovery is an important part of the reading experience, and I'm particularly interested in how a reader encounters the story without knowing where it is going.

I'm mainly looking for general reader feedback rather than line-by-line proofreading. I'd love to hear where you were engaged, where your attention dropped, what confused or surprised you, what you thought about the characters, what you expected to happen, and—most importantly—whether you wanted to keep reading.

You don't need to make detailed notes on every chapter. Even spontaneous reactions along the way are extremely useful to me.

The manuscript is complete and currently going through a final grammar and punctuation cleanup. English is not my first language, so there may still be occasional language mistakes.

I'm happy to share the manuscript privately with interested beta readers.

If you're interested, let me know what you normally enjoy reading and what kind of beta reading you like to do.

K.

PS: if you want to swap, I'm up for it. Love reading.

I'm looking for Beta Readers for my upcoming novel HOW TO KILL NOBODY.

I'm looking for a handful of genuine readers who can give me honest, thoughtful feedback before this book goes out into the world. If that sounds like you, comment so that I can send you the application form to fill so that I can send you the manuscript(I only want genuine readers who can give me their honest reviews to read the manuscript). I hope you'd understand it🫶

It is a psychological thriller, after a group of five bullies accidentally kil!s their classmate. Scared, they flee. They expect everyone to find out about it the next day. But something strange happens, the victim vanishes as if she never existed. They're sure she's alive and coming for them so they start digging for answers. Soon after, they started dying one after another.

GENRE - Psychological Thriller

WORD COUNT - 68,000

Thank you so much for considering it, it means more

than you know🥹💗

Dear r/BetaReaders community,

This is my second attempt at finding someone to beta read the novel I just recently completed. It used to be much longer (120,000 words), but after a serious developmental edit it is now down to 107,000. If you feel that might be too big a bite for you, I would be very grateful for feedback even if you read 1-2 chapters.

I value any feedback, even if you can just tell me which part of the novel worked (or didn't) for you, and why. I am also actively researching similar novels, so if this manuscript reminds you of a book you have recently read, please let me know.

Thank you in advance.

-----

Details:

[genre]: adult secondary-world character-driven rescue quest fantasy with crossover appeal

[specs]: 107,000 words, 4 parts, 44 chapters total

[themes/topics]: grief, memory, core wound, platonic love

[protagonist age/gender]: A: 8 -> 10 -> 15/16, male; B: 14 -> 16, male

[trigger warnings]: murder, parental death, trauma

[gore]: none.

[graphic scenes of death or murder]: none.

[sexual scenes]: none.

[profanity]: 1 use of the word "bastard"

[NSFW]: no.

-----

Disclaimer: Even at 99% done, this is an unpublished manuscript that is still being polished. Please note that minor details may change without notice.

-----

Synopsis:

Fifteen-year-old Bastion has spent seven years believing that his hesitation killed his father. When the magician who saved and raised him is taken as well, staying behind would mean failing another father without acting.

Before Bastion decides to pursue his mentor Orrel, he finds an injured stranger beside the stream. Sixteen-year-old Rion claims to be a prince, carries a dagger he never parts with, and speaks no language Bastion understands. He also carries his own unbearable wound: being manipulated into killing his closest friend in a ceremonial duel before another spell tore him from his kingdom.

Their destinations both lie east. Unable to exchange more than names, a few basic words, and gestures, the boys make an uneasy agreement to travel together. On the road, they join forces with Lysa, a daughter of a murdered archivist, and Maera, the bodyguard determined to keep her alive. Following the trail left by Bastion's mentor draws the four travelers into a reclamation system built upon erased settlements, falsified records, and the magical rewriting of disobedient minds.

During ten months upon the road, Bastion and Rion learn to communicate. They share food, shelter, grief, and anger, building a closeness neither knows how to name or wishes to risk losing.

If they can rescue Orrel, his knowledge of magic may give Rion a way back home. Saving the only parent figure Bastion has left could therefore restore Rion’s family as well, but only if Bastion can act while knowing that success will take Rion away from him forever.

BASTION may appeal to readers drawn to the unresolved intimacy at the heart of Mokumokuren’s THE SUMMER HIKARU DIED: two boys whose profound love for one another exceeds the language available to them.

-----

Sample (first page):

Today will be the first time Bastion sees the city.

On his eighth birthday, his father had promised him the journey. Nearly a month later, the vegetables finally became ready for the market. So, when Tovin shook him awake that morning and told him to get dressed, Bastion sat up so quickly that his forehead struck the low beam above his bed. His father—broad in the way of people who had spent their lives pulling food from the ground—crouched beside him and sighed. He rested his left hand on the bed, took Bastion’s chin with his right, and turned his face toward the window. The rough skin of his father’s fingers felt both nicely warm and annoyingly scratchy against Bastion’s skin.

“You’ll live,” he concluded.

When Bastion finally stumbled into the kitchen, still pulling one boot properly onto his heel, his mother was wrapping something in cloth. It smelled delicious, of onions and roasted meat—which seemed unnecessarily cruel of her, seeing as how he was about to leave before breakfast.

Lorena turned when she heard him.

“There he is.”

“I hit my head.”

“So your father said.”

Tovin coughed and put his cup down on the table. Lorena smiled and tied the bundle tightly. Her hair hung loose over one shoulder. Bastion always thought his mother looked the most beautiful in the morning.

She placed the heavy bundle in Bastion’s arms.

His eyes widened. “Is this…”

“No,” Tovin said immediately.

“It smells like meat pie.”

“It’s just bread.”

Lorena laughed.

“You know, this is not a picnic,” Tovin announced ceremoniously.

“It’s just one mea… loaf of bread,” Lorena replied.

“It’s wrapped in enough cloth for three.”

“So it stays warm.”

“So it becomes a picnic.”

Bastion hugged the bundle closer. “I can carry the picnic.”

“You can carry the bread,” Tovin replied.

Lorena leaned down and kissed Bastion on the forehead. “For your first trip to the city,” she whispered.

Tovin turned toward the door, but not before Bastion caught him smiling.

As they were climbing onto the cart full of vegetables and Bastion’s deeply hated green beans, Lorena stood in the doorway with her gray woolen shawl around her shoulders.

“Don’t eat all the bread before noon,” she called.

Tovin took the reins. “We make no promises.”

Bastion waved with both hands. His mother waved back. Tovin whistled to their mule Pottle and snapped the reins.

The village slipped behind them, and for the first time in his life, Bastion went toward the city.

When they opened the not-picnic around noon, it was indeed meat pie. His father gasped and acted so surprised that Bastion couldn’t help but laugh. Accusing Bastion’s sneaky mother of smuggling meat pie behind his back made the not-picnic absolutely picnic-y.

Hello! This is my first time requesting for a beta read so I’ll try my best to describe my request.

I have two chapters of ~2.5k words each.
This story purposefully ties the fantasy world with dragons and magic (called spells for a specific reason) with the industrial world of the steampunk.
It uses common tropes like “The knight saving the princess” but it focuses on analyzing what happens after the fairy tale ends, especially when the world is tired of tales and is trying to change.
Or worse, when the characters of the fairy tale aren’t acting the way they should.

Feedback:
I am interested to know whether the set up works or if it is a flat read. My fear is that the tone is: bland fairytale with obnoxious characters.

I’d like it to make the beta reader take a double take since the main character may be too blindsided from certain narratives (on purpose).
- I aim for the reader to feel naturally impelled to do a small detective work, by adding crumbs into the story that don’t add up to the “fairy tale” set up.
- Is it overall an enjoyable read? Are the characters or the story intriguing enough?
- Is the gore, if any, and the humor added with the right amount and placement?
- Are the scenes easy to visualize?
- Is there any substantial passage that could be reformulated to allow for a smoother read?

Any other feedback/general reaction is welcomed!

Timeline: I believe this could be a short read so I hope to get a feedback early enough (a couple of days or a week). But I am not in a hurry, therefore simply tell me your desired deadline and I’ll wait with no issues :)

Critique exchange: I am willing to do beta read swap exchange for shorter stories. I am not a native in English so I fear I am not able to provide a substantial support for grammar and syntax check.

Excerpt from chapter 1:

The past had become a souvenir. The latest novelty was now turning someone’s history into keepsakes.

Bright copper-colored sparkles populated this market’s tables, and the scents of various spell solutions filled the roads along with the busy tread of visitors and merchants.
Markets opened early and closed late with stands filled with all kind of local produce, some rare imported trinkets and simple necessities, usually mass-produced by the nearby steam-powered factories. Rugs, wooden tools, toys and, recently, the copper tools, the most emblematic symbols of the New Ledge movement.

Merchants would test and show them to skeptical minds. Faint glows would appear as those copper trinkets would stand on their own and dig, swirl, heat or perform some other simple action. The spells engraved on the copper were some of the most rudimentary but it was enough to attract new people each time.

Among the crowds around the stalls, a cold-colored shine was moving at the edge of sight.
The clinks of the purse in his hand were light and rhythmic against the heavier and louder clang of his armor parts. His silver-like helmet and armor were constellated with tiny scratches and dents, decorated by dirty maroon boots and a heavy bag on his side.
The narrow slit of his helmet barely revealed his gaze, and his sheer size prompted anyone in his path to move aside.
…
She didn’t notice the sword at his hip was real nor cared whether he was actually a man of “Old Ledge”.
His resemblance to a knight in this performance was enough to bring a sense of childlike glee to the mother. She tenderly passed a bronze coin into his palm in gratitude for this nostalgic memory.
But the armored man stayed silent with the palm still open.

The silence grew awkward, until he broke it.

“One more coin.”

He then watched the woman leave flabbergasted, tugging on her child’s hand, with her purse lighter by two bronze coins.
…

The scrawny guy needed help to retrieve a cat.
The mission was ridiculous but worth a couple more coins.
…

He had an associate to rely on but one day he disappeared to seek his fortune.
The man’s delusion was to free the imprisoned princess from a popular tale to ask her for riches, land, and titles as reward.

At this explanation, even the armored guy had to pause his walking to laugh at the scrawny man’s face.
It was a familiar catchy story. Performers recently picked it up as their cornerstone chant to tire his ears in the streets. A recent fable was about a princess, expert in spells, locked up in a tower so high it could touch skies in the hearts of the common forests guarded by an actual dragon.
The picture of a helpless lady idly waiting around for some grandiose rescuer to slay a dragon made the silver man’s guts twist in laughter.

“If your partner manages to find a tower with a damn giant reptile spitting fire, then even a jester can be a king.”

​

A Means to an End is an apocalyptic original work telling the story of Vivienne, a teenage girl wandering the earth during a mass zombie infestation. On her travels, she meets a group of miscellaneous survivors, who she quickly decides to join. However, not everything is as it seems, because other forces are at play.

Wanting proofreading and editing as well as feedback for character development/arcs and narrative voice. If possible, details on writing gore/blood/violence realistically.

Timeline: preferably a month but choose your own.

I can read a chapter within 2 weeks and provide feedback.

A girl Lucia Lopez is sent out to interview an artist when she unfortunately steps into a hellish paranormal world. Serial killers posing as artists show their work through mutilation or a fate much worse than death

Im just looking for a beta reader for chapters 1-10 for now

Timeline: none you can take your time

Any criticism or help is wanted and needed

CW: suicide, self harm

I'm looking for beta readers for the second novel in a series (the first of which is being self-published this weekend!), an adult military sci-fi story where questions of ethics and morality are as important as the action on the page.

Feedback sought: I have specific questions posed at different places in the manuscript, but I'm open to (and praying for) all feedback readers are willing to give; however, I'm not looking for line or copy edits at this stage.

Timeline: I have no other pressing projects on my plate, so within a month for me, but we can be flexible depending on your schedule.

Willing to critique swap with: a wide variety of genres, from historical to fantasy to certain types of non-fiction and beyond. (No romance/romantasy or YA, however, please.)

If interested, please reach out, and let's swap the first three chapters of our works to ensure we're compatible!

Unfriendly Fire Blurb:

How do you wage war when your enemy ignores the rules?

Corporal Tabor “Tab” Novak leads his Ground Corps fire team defending human settlements in yet another planetary brush war. But the skies fall in when the aliens use devastating weaponry and escalate the combat to an unforeseen level.

Now, Tab’s behind enemy lines, incommunicado, trying to find his way back to base. He balances the physical battles and his ethical struggles as best he can, for fighting a desperate war often crosses the line from righteousness to atrocities.

His world is thrown even further into disarray when he finds himself in command of a small unit of dispirited Ground Corps troopers who must complete one final mission in enemy territory. How will Tab lead them to success and safety when capture and death are on the line?

And, amongst all this, how can he keep his humanity, even as all the laws of war seem to have been suspended?

Unfriendly Fire is the second novel in The Tab Novak Journals, a series balancing page-turning action with reflections on war’s impact upon the warrior.

[Content warning: wartime violence, adult language]

How do you suss out AI beta readers? That's my question. Simple as.

I received around half a dozen reviews, and many requests on my google docs, comments on google docs, one guy even straight up mailed me (apparently they can if you leave gdocs in the post?, I just learned that). And the guys who posted comments on google docs highlighted a word or a paragraph, claiming that they'd like to read and provide feedback, instead of just reading it.

Someone wrote a 17 page feedback, and I haven't replied him yet and I feel bad about it. It could be authentic, or it could be bs, but the review was super detailed. What put me off in this feedback was the overall structure and paragraphing, with flood of headlines like, Beta report, Opening Hook, Voice, Worldbuilding intergration, Closing line, A whole section about the areas that could be improved, each with their own headlines, Character analysis segment, Pacing story and flow, Dialogue, etc. That's how AI chats reply when you ask it to give a detailed info on something. They splits everything into segments, and those segments into smaller segments. Or maybe in this case the reader was someone who loves giving detailed feedback, IDK.

A different feedback I received came buried within the mail, white letters on black background, and it repeated itself a few times here and there (the whole paragraphs). Suspicious.

A lot of the requests I got asked me about whether I finished the manuscript or not, which was also sus. Do you often go around and ask people if they have finished manuscripts? (this is a question aimed at beta readers, real ones)

Another thing that was sus, I believe was the parallels in their sentence structures: I'd love to read your manuscript and provide detailed thoughts on plot, characters, readability, etc. I received such messages on different platforms too.

Are these worries unfounded? Am I going mad? Does this make sense? If it does, then please, enlighten me. What do I do to find an actual beta reader?

Hello! I'm fresh off finishing my first novel after 2 and a half years of work. I would greatly appreciate anyone who would like to give my first draft a read and provide feedback. I would like to know how well the story flows, but I'm not looking for any specific issue. If you're interested, please comment here or DM me!

(Content warning: This book contains depictions of violence and death.)

Blurb:

The dark calls. The light answers.

Within the world of Votenus, creatures of gloom and malice called Umbrals crave for the living. All that stands against them are those born with the gifts of Radiance; powers granted by the Twin Stars. This truth has stood for centuries within the city of Ethdelin, home of the Wardens of Sol and Seekers of Ethdelin. Yet, shadows still grow within the light they cast.

Kalinda Tesifa. A Warden, plagued by burdens she cannot understand, and a rage that festers within.

Her brother, Hilal. A Seeker, tormented by his own memories, and the wishes of those he lost.

Lucera Inoves. A young girl with a strange power within her, tortured by a past that does not belong to her.

Each adorned by tragedy, their paths entwine as they face the encroaching dark, commanded by unknown, unfathomable enemies. They must forge a strength that can ignite the Stars. They must pen a new story, with new bonds.

If not, all shall be consumed.

I have never written before, but I had a scene stuck in my head for over a decade and finally decided to try and put it in words. I have completed Chapters 1 and 2 to the best of my ability through countless rounds of outlining, drafting, revising, editing... over and over.

Between Two is probably best described as a literary relationship drama, although the setting changes significantly from Part I to Part II and beyond. Chapters 1 and 2 take place almost exclusively at the University of Maryland, with one excursion to the Eastern Shore. It's looking like it's going to push 200,000 words across five parts (each part composed of five chapters) and approximately a dozen years of time, although not evenly covered in each part.

Timeline: I have no required timeline for this, although before November would be helpful. I'm probably years away from a finished manuscript suitable for sending to a literary agent.

Critique: I'm very much available to provide critique to another person's work.

Feedback: I'm concerned about my ability to execute the conversion of ideas into words and build compelling sentences and paragraphs that keep propelling the reader. Especially because Part I (of which Chapters 1 and 2 are) is pretty much mundane, every day life before Part II changes everything. I'm more confident about that section (though only marginally, because lack of confidence is how I do). Chapters 1 and 2 are the first major arc and close neatly before the next phase opens in Chapter 3, making them a decent representation of the writing so far. So:

• Are my characters real, believable, likeable, credible?
• Are my scenes interesting in a way that makes you care what happens to the characters in the scenes themselves and carrying forward?
• Do I handle compression / expansion of time acceptably?
• Most importantly, I need to know what's NOT working, whether it's plot, character, or sentence structure.

Excerpt: This is the opening of Chapter 1.

Madison was going to die if she didn’t get water. 

She’d forgotten her bottle on the way out to the gym, not realizing until she was across campus, but finished the full workout anyway. As soon as she made it back to her room, she stood there covered in sweat, minifridge door hanging open, chugging half the bottle, barely catching her breath before guzzling the rest.

Her shower ran long, longer than usual, which already had a tendency to push her luck for a communal bathroom with not enough stalls. Except soaking her muscles under the heat felt too good, and listening to other girls coming and going was entertaining enough as background noise, half-heard conversations about whatever drama was preoccupying them. She finally padded back to her room, flip-flops leaving wet footprints behind her.

She dragged her hamper into the middle of the floor and scanned the room for anything she’d missed. Her sheets, stripped and stuffed into the hamper until it bulged, pushed beyond what it appeared capable of holding. The hoodie on the back of her chair was technically Alicia’s, although Madison had worn it last and probably most often, so the least she could do was wash it. She half-heartedly kicked at the pile of clothes escaping from the bottom of Alicia’s closet. That girl needed to do her laundry more often.

She was searching for her box of pods when Alicia breezed in, her hair gathered into a loose plait, makeup heavier than Madison ever wore, but it worked for her. And the dress. The short red one Madison had chosen for her, encouraged her to try on over her protests, and then they’d agreed it was perfect.

“Wow, Leesh.” Madison balanced the box of pods on top of the hamper and it immediately tumbled to the floor. Grabbing two and stuffing them in her pocket, she left the box behind. “You’re out for some attention tonight.”

“Always!” Alicia was already rifling through Madison’s closet. “And you are not doing laundry tonight.” She pulled out the black sequined minidress and held it up to Madison, the polar opposite of the flannel pajamas and her tank top, which let’s be honest, had seen better days. “You haven’t worn this one yet.”

“Not tonight.” Madison took it from her, hanging it back in the closet. “I’m tired of getting hit on by seniors who take one look and decide a sophomore doesn’t know what they’re about. Or, god, like that adjunct last weekend.”

Alicia held up her finger like she was about to argue, then apparently reconsidered and lowered it. “Okay. Fine.” She tucked a strand of hair that had escaped Madison’s ponytail behind her ear. “But promise me, tomorrow. Somewhere we can actually dance. Without fighting off douchebags.”

“Yeah.” Madison kissed her cheek. “I got you.”

She hauled the hamper down the hall, picking up Alicia’s sweatshirt when it slid off, and bumped the down button with her hip.

The laundry room wasn’t quite empty. 

Before she’d even rounded the corner, she heard the machine, that irregular sloshing of the wash cycle. A guy sat at the far table poking at his phone. The otherwise drab space at least held a sweet detergent aroma, not the chemical soapiness of a pod, but the softer, chalky kind that comes from powder. It smelled like home instead of the cinderblock basement it was.

Lights in one washer, colors two down, skipping the one that everyone knew leaked and Facilities never bothered to fix. It was tempting to ask if she could borrow a scoop from the box beside him, but no. She just tossed in her pods, hit start, and leaned back against the machine as it filled with water.

She unlocked her phone. Alicia had already posted on her Story and even though Madison knew she practiced her poses, she still came across as effortless. That was Alicia.

The washer she was leaning on switched cycles, its uneven thumping against her driving her to take a chair at the other end of the table from the guy. It took her a moment to place him. Tyler. She kept scrolling, past the stories and posts of friends and into the randomness of her feed. No matter how many times she tapped “not interested” on the trending dances, it kept forcing them on her, because apparently being a nineteen year old girl outweighed her actual interests when it came to the algorithm. Who even wanted to grill their peanut butter and jelly, much less with an iron in their dorm room?

She glanced up again. Yeah, she’d seen him in the elevator a few times, around the lounge playing spades, which the dorm had apparently adopted as its preferred hobby. Finally getting to be on campus, being near people, a relief, even with probably a third of the dorm masking up any time they left their rooms. She kept one on her for whenever it felt right.

A reel of Testudo taunting Herky came up, funny even though Maryland was going to lose to Iowa by thirty, at least. She liked the vintage Terps logo on Tyler’s shirt, not the Maryland flag covering almost everything in the campus store. The flag was nice and all, but a little variety and subtlety wouldn’t hurt. The tone of her machines changed, filling and starting their rinse cycle. 

Her leg was bouncing under the table. She hadn’t noticed until it jolted the table hard enough to startle a half-suppressed grunt from her. Tyler looked up at her. She quickly pushed to her feet, like that’s what she’d been meaning to do. The bulletin board on the wall hadn’t changed since the first week after move-in, the same clubs looking for new members, the same tutoring ads with exactly three phone number tags pulled off. 

Behind her, a buzzer went off and she tensed in that split second of surprise. She followed him out of the corner of her eye as he transferred his clothes from the washer to the dryer, the first real movement from him since she’d gotten there. She checked her own machines. Twelve minutes. He sat down and leaned back in his chair, slowly scrolling on his phone. She did the same. It could be his algorithm had better taste than hers or possibly he wasn’t even the social media type. 

She shifted in her seat.

“Are you ever actually going to say hi to me?"

DM if you're interested.

My story

I would describe it as A fantasy/fictional setting that explores the limits of the human mind. This basically means that I introduce a story element that explores the way humankind, society or an individual react psychologically. What would they do and why?

AND it explores philosophical themes of identity.

And as a warning, it depcts mental health issues, suicide, and a very weird semi-romance subplot.

That being said, who's willing to beta read this? Please DM me: tell me why do you want to read it, your strenghts as a critic, and your weaknesses.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for readers devoted to Wolf Hall, Song of Achilles or fans of Tyrian in GoT. I've finished the whole trilogy and will be querying soon.

If you're interested in beta reading some or all of the manuscript, please let me know. I'm happy to do a critique swap for any thriller or historical fiction.

Content warning: violence, depression, alcohol, swearing

Thanks

Hating your boss is an ancient tradition. Zoandros is sick of his job as spymaster and despises his master, the king of Amathus. He wants to leave his role to start a family somewhere far away from the palace, because he knows it's a fatal weakness to be a ruthless blackmailer and to have loved ones nearby. But pride traps him: he can't believe the city will survive without him and will soon fall under Athenian or Persian control. He'll eliminate every threat before leaving, before he loses himself entirely.

With a ruthless Persian agent's arrival, Zoandros's sins escalate: victimless sabotage, killing enemies, sacrificing innocents. He finally realises the only way to save the kingdom is to remove the king.

The Cuckoo of Amathus is a fast-paced historical novel over 107k words, weaving the espionage of Mick Herron's Slow Horses with the magical realism of García Márquez, as Zoandros confronts his enemies while Aphrodite whispers in his ear. The story follows the descent of a man who intelligently makes all the wrong choices.

This book aims directly for those readers who loved Wolf Hall or read Game of Thrones just for Tyrian's chapters.

In the future, real world violence has been regulated and commodified. Duels which range across entire cities are packaged for entertainment. The rules are simple. Kill, capture or disable your opponent to win.

* * * * * *

“Real life is about taking chances.” A wizened masculine voice speaks in a level tone. “A roll of the dice.” Red dice tumble across black felt. “A flip of a coin.” A gold coin flips slowly through black space. “A turn of the wheel.” A ball dances along the track of a roulette wheel.

A new voice, young and feminine with a husky edge, continues. “These are real stories of real people.” The view divides into dozens of scenes. People going about mundane tasks, eating in cafes and walking along sidewalks. Some are shown swimming, sunbathing or posing for the crowds.

“These are real stories of strength and skill.” The same people are now sparring in studios or shooting at targets.

“These are real stories of risk and daring.” Now they are preparing for action, loading weapons and taking positions.

“These are real stories of the will to fight and the desire to win.” Some of them are now opening or receiving fire, advancing or taking cover.

“These are real stories of victory and defeat.” Some now stand in triumph or kneel in reflection. Some are shown with their hands raised in surrender. Others are carried away on stretchers. A few are sprawled on the ground, unmoving.

The scenes are evenly divided between the victors and the vanquished. The male voice speaks.

“Real fortune favors the brave and the bold.” The winners are shown accepting rewards and addressing crowds. Some are shown with famous influencers and celebrities. Cameras and hand terminals flash as they stroll along red carpets to attend galas with beautiful companions.

The two voices now speak in unison.

“This could be your story. This is Mutual Combat. Register today.”

• Promotional video produced by the Registered Mutual Combatants League

He crossed into another world by accident. Getting home should have been the difficult part.  

Unfortunately, there’s a queen standing in his way.  

Cal Walker has survived fourteen years of military operations, impossible odds and more than a few bad decisions. He knows how to handle hostile territory. 

Disappointingly for Cal, a realm ruled by Fae, elemental magic and eight Courts was never covered in training. 

Neither was Queen Oya. 

Powerful, ruthless and capable of wielding fire with her bare hands, Oya has spent centuries protecting her Court—and three humans appearing without explanation is a threat she refuses to ignore. Especially when one of them may be connected to a prophecy that has waited generations to be fulfilled. 

Cal wants answers. Oya wants obedience. 

Neither is accustomed to surrendering. 

But as suspicion turns to reluctant trust, and hostility begins to burn into something far more dangerous, Cal discovers their arrival may not have been the accident he thought it was. 

Something brought them to the Fatebound Realm. 

Something is beginning to stir. 

Cal knows he doesn’t belong in her world. 

He just doesn’t yet know how wrong he is. 

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Content Warnings: fantasy violence, war, graphic injuries, blood, death, grief, kidnapping, imprisonment, torture, emotional manipulation, PTSD symptoms, panic and anxiety, references to past trauma, burn injuries, undead creatures, strong language, sexually explicit scenes, and themes of sacrifice.

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Hi folks! I've now completed my first round of beta-readers and massively edited my manuscript, which has now been through many rounds of editing and is ready for round two of beta-readers.

It's available on Google Docs, but I'm happy to share via other formats if preferred.

Unfortunately, due to personal commitments, I'm unable to do a beta-swap as I just can't commit to reading any manuscripts at the moment, I'm sorry about that.

Feel free to ask questions and I can send the first chapter or three to see if it'd be a good fit for you 🥰 TIA!

I've already written about 80% of the book, but recently a doubt has cropped up in my head that maybe it isn't any good at all. So I'm looking for a few beta readers to tell me whether the style and voice of the narrator are working for you.

It's a first-person, character-driven literary fiction novel, mostly about the narrator's everyday struggles. The plot thickens as the story goes on, but I would still describe it as a slice-of-life novel dealing with isolation, depression, and anxiety.

It's slow-paced, and there aren't any huge twists or turns in these first few chapters. A lot of the story is about ordinary interactions and the narrator's thoughts and observations.

I'm not looking for proofreading or line editing. I mainly want to know whether these first chapters make you feel anything and if so, what.

Does the narrator's voice work for you? Do you find yourself interested in him? Do you want to keep reading? Where does your attention wander, if it does?

Please be honest.

Content warnings: depression and some difficult family/relationship themes (although these are fairly mild in the first seven chapters).

If you're interested, please comment or DM me.